Potential nurse...scared of death

[kix86]

I have been lurking here for a while and have been trying to decide whether nursing is for me. I think that I would really enjoy most aspects of it-helping others when they are at their worst, learning about diseases/meds, etc. However, the one thing that I am thinking might be a deal breaker is the emotional side of it...I am very scared of death...I am a worry-er and I am constantly worried about one of my family members dying or something bad happening. On one hand, I feel like this makes me not cut out for nursing, but on the other, maybe being a nurse would help me overcome this. Is this a weird way to look at things?? If I can't even handle thinking about death, how am I supposed to actually handle it while I am a nurse?

[medicrnohio, RN]

It's normal to be afraid of death. I remember having to deal with my first dead patient. I was a brand new medic and we got called out on a run to pick up a body and take it to the coroner's office. I have never seen or touched a dead person before. The family was grieving hard and the police were there. I was terrified. As a nurse, I have had more positive experiences with death and dying. I've held the hands of a person dying alone, I've been there with the family as they've terminally weaned their loved one from the vent, among many others. I find that as I experience death more, I advocate better for that peaceful pain free death for my patients. It is always hard, but you will learn to deal with it. It seems to me that often times nurses are able to accept the inevitable death of a patient better than the doctor who wants to keep on trying to fix all of the problems. And remember, it's okay to cry. With the last patient that we terminally weaned, I cried. It was hard, I had worked with this patient and his family for weeks. I wish you the best of luck, I'm sure you will be a wonderful nurse.

[Music in My Heart]

It's normal to be afraid of death. I remember having to deal with my first dead patient. I was a brand new medic and we got called out on a run to pick up a body and take it to the coroner's office. I have never seen or touched a dead person before.

One of my college jobs was doing recoveries for a mortuary in a county that had no dedicated coroner's facilities -- they did the postmortems at our place.

I actually worked there for a couple weeks without ever having to touch a body; the thought of doing so freaked me out. Finally, one day, we were picking up some guy from the local prison and I found myself in a room with a hardened criminal type to looked over and said, "Grab his arm." In that moment I had to decide that either I would or I wouldn't do this job. I decided I would. And I did. And I got used to it. It really wasn't a big deal.

I also remember picking up a baby who'd died within an hour of birth. The nurses wanted him dressed in order to take some pix for the family but they were a little weirded out by it so I did it. To this day, 25 years later, I still have vivid memories of carrying that little bundle out to the van. I remember the weather (dreary and drizzly). I remember the music that I was listening to (Bread). I remember just sitting in the parking lot for a few minutes. And I remember suddenly sobbing at grief of those poor parents. After a few minutes of release I put it in perspective and off I went. I dropped off my charge, had lunch, and studied for a midterm that I had the next day.

My approach, then and now, is to let myself experience the grief, respond to it, put it in perspective, and move on.