Please critique my cover letter

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I am a new grad with no experience. I do not have my BSN. Please critique my cover letter before I send it, should I put that I will be getting my BSN eventually?.. I do not know who I should make it out to... help meeeee

I am writing in response to the Labor and Delivery position at St. Josephs Women's Hospital listed on the Baycare website. This is a very exciting opportunity to apply to your facility due to your community status, the place in Tampa to have a baby”. As a newly licensed nurse I am eager to embrace the role of an RN. I have always known, even before nursing school, I wanted to work in labor and delivery and have even put a sole focus on only applying to this particular unit.

Although I am a new nurse graduate, I have 8 years of waitressing experience that I feel will serve me well as a nurse. My pleasant and calm demeanor under pressure is always present, allowing guest to feel comfortable and at ease in any given situation. There is no doubt I have strong multi-tasking and time-management skills. Being self-motivated, resilient and adaptive, I believe are qualities that are transferable to the healthcare setting, where technologies, protocols, and policies are constantly changing. I cannot wait to give family focused care and to live up to the values of St. Joseph's Women's Hospital; trust, respect and dignity, something I possess in everything I do.

Training a new nurse, I understand is quite costly. I am confident I can become a valuable member of your team and organization. My readiness to learn, to be challenged and my commitment to give it my upmost personal best will make your decision well worth it. The labor and delivery unit is where I see myself developing professionally as an RN. If only given the chance, I can be molded into the ideal nurse you would want working for this unit.

I look forward to speaking with you in person to learn more about this positon and I am available for an interview at your convenience. I can be reached at --------------- or at -----------------------. Thank you for your consideration. I can't wait to hear back from you.

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Specializes in ER, PCU, UCC, Observation medicine.

you may want to edit your phone number out of this post like ASAP before the internet goes nuts.

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Specializes in ER, PCU, UCC, Observation medicine.

My understanding of a cover letter is a short opening to grab your prospective employer's attention.

By reading this long letter, you seem to cover your resume and previous employment which is probably on the next page after this.

I would shorten the whole thing: New nurse, eager to learn, adapts well under pressure, committed, motivated, hope to work with you in the future. I think if you follow that body of content it's all you really need, your resume will speak for itself.

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Specializes in ER.

How about:

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to express interest in the opening in labor and delivery. I am a new graduate RN eager to begin my career with your hospital. Family birthing is the nursing specialty where I feel called to serve, and where better than St Joseph's?

On researching your hospital and reading your mission statement, I strongly believe that I would be strong asset to your healthcare team, and the women you serve.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours, Stephj RN

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How about:

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to express interest in the opening in labor and delivery. I am a new graduate RN eager to begin my career with your hospital. Family birthing is the nursing specialty where I feel called to serve, and where better than St Joseph's?

On researching your hospital and reading your mission statement, I strongly believe that I would be strong asset to your healthcare team, and the women you serve.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours, Stephj RN

Yep. Short, gets the point across, and professional.

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