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Discussion

planning my exit strategy

I started my first job a few weeks ago. While I enjoy the work, I can't see myself dealing with cattiness/gossip/passive aggressiveness for the rest of my life..... it's not worth it.

(may 2011 graduate)

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    • Featured Replies

    I am not sure what to say. After all my hard work to get through everything, I just can't see myself quitting that soon into it. Not every place is like that and it's not just nursing. Every job I have ever worked has had elements of that. In fact my first nursing job, their is very little of that on my unit. It's a very close group.

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    I'm with the previous poster. I started my job last September and my primary focus during the work day is to get my work done. I have been very careful about treating my co-workers as friends and getting too intimate or chatty. By the same token, I have tried to be friendly and respectful in my dealings. At the end of the year I find that I like many people I work with and am liked by them in turn. I do not share much about my personal life, politics, opinions, etc. My advice to you is to avoid the people you perceive to be catty/gossipy other than necessary professional dealings. Work hard and be respectful in all of your dealings...try to create a "catty gossip-free zone" wherever you go. People will get the vibe. Be too busy to get engaged in any of it. You have a job you like. Don't let this get in your way.

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    • Experts

    I think it is very reasonable to be planning ahead -- making long term plans for your career. Too many nurses only think about their current situation, here and now, and ignore the future. The future arrives and they are not ready for it. They find themselves 10 years older and with no more credentials than they had 10 years ago ... no ideas about the types of work they want to be doing at that later stage of life ... etc.

    However -- don't make an imperfect situation worse by running away too fast. And by "running away," I don't just mean physically. If you disconnect emotionally, it may make matters worse and/or stunt your development as a nurse. This phase of your career is one of great learning as you adjust from being a student to being a staff nurse. If you disconnect, you may fail to learn a lot of valuable lessons about being part of a team.

    Here are a couple of things to think about while you ponder your future:

    1. There is a large body of literature on the topic of the new grad adjustment period to the workplace. ("Reality shock" and "Transition shock" are the two main theories.) Research shows that it typically takes 9-12 months for a new grad to transition from student to staff nurse ... and to become truly competent as a staff nurse. Patricia Benner's "novice to expert" model is also consistent with that 9-12 month timeline. Unless the workplace is truly toxic (which it does not sound like yours is), I recommend giving yourself at least a year to successfully reach that "competent" developmental stage before you make any big moves. A lot will happen in relation to your development as a nurse over the next year -- and you would be wise to let that development occur before making major career decision.

    2. As you learn the skills you need for the job, you learn how to negotiate the politics of the workplace and the stress of being "someplace new" wears off as you become more comfortable there. What seems unpleasant now may turn out to be not-so-bad once you fully settle in to the job.

    3. Workplaces change over time. Departments go through good times and bad times -- just like all other relationships. It's like a marriage: you get your highs and your lows. Don't be too quick to judge unless there is something REALLY horrible going on.

    4. No job is perfect. If you can only live with perfection, you'll never be happy in life. Also, if everybody runs away from things that are not perfect -- nothing ever changesfor the better. You are too new to change the culture of your workplace ... but with a little time and experience ... you may be able to help make your workplace a better place. That's how things get better. Individual people work to improve things.

    5. You say that you enjoy the work. That is super important. A lot of people never find work that they enjoy doing. They go through life miserable because they never find a type of work that they actually enjoy. Research shows that people who enjoy their work are happier, healthier, live longer, etc. The fact that you enjoy the actual work you are doing is HUGE -- and tells me that you should probably remain a nurse. You just may need to find the place to be a nurse that works best for you -- or perhaps take a less-than-perfect place and work to build it up to be a great place for you.

    Good luck to you.

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    Hey, Sense.

    Lotta sense in llg's post.

    Still gotta agree with your basic emotion: There's a ton "cattiness/gossip/passive aggressiveness" in the world of nursing.

    The idea is to locate that facility / environment that allows you to be you... and to develop... while you do your best to care for those entrusted to your charge.

    Good luck!

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    Any group of people is prone to cattiness/gossip/passive aggressiveness. Your unit may have more of it, but anywhere you work, in any field, you'll find it to some degree. It's up to you to learn how to navigate through the mine fields that come with working together with others.

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    • Author
    Any group of people is prone to cattiness/gossip/passive aggressiveness. Your unit may have more of it, but anywhere you work, in any field, you'll find it to some degree. It's up to you to learn how to navigate through the mine fields that come with working together with others.

    I have extensive experience working with people. In fact, four years of college was focused on group projects---mostly turned out well, with maybe 1-2 horror stories. I have held several jobs that required me to work with people of various demographics and socioeconomic backgrounds. I would say that I am a good team player, decent social skills, and effective communication skills. I'm understanding, flexible, and I don't mind give my 110% to get the job done. But the level of abuse that I have to put up with this certain coworker is unacceptable. I have brought it up to management and I have confronted her about her behavior. The last week has been significantly better and we are working through our issues (mainly her need to micromanage me and her inability to accept constructive criticism).

    I am still planning my exit strategy though. I come from a family of nurses. I guess the coworker from hell horror stories are only funny when you're not directly involved in them. I have talked to various nurses (in my family) and the scary thing is.... their unanimous response is "that's just how nursing is.... it's okay don't let her win"

    By the way, nursing was not a huge financial investment for me. I'm also relatively young so a career change is definitely possible without too much financial/personal repercussions.

    Thanks everyone :)

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