Personal experience in NICU: Bonus or Weakness?

Finallyat40 · Jan 3, 2006

I, too have had a preemie in the NICU, albeit not nearly as small as yours. Mine was a 27w5d who weighed right at a kg when born. At the time he was born, I was working in a healthcare system doing marketing, but soon got laid off and decided to go to school. I began a residency program (5 months) in the NICU last January, have worked in the unit since then and I love it.

There are times when things happen that do hit very close to home....and make it a bit more difficult, however, I do believe that having been on both sides of the isolette, so to speak, can be a huge asset. Many of the RN's on our unit are young and have no children, and while working with a couple of them one day I mentioned that parents of NICU admits are usually so overcome by all the wires, lines, isolettes, alarms, etc. that they don't get to enjoy the things a "normal" parent enjoys, like counting fingers and toes, appreciating the shape of their ears, their smell, etc....these are oftentimes the first steps to bonding. When I get a new admit, if the baby is stable enough, I try to take pictures of the baby that capture these things to give to the parents to take home.

Didn't mean to write a book here, but after all...you asked.

Jamie

llg, PhD, RN · Jan 3, 2006

I have seen it work both ways. A lot depends on how you have resolved any "issues" that relate to your past NICU experiences.

I have seen some former NICU moms become great NICU nurses. However, I have also seen some people bring old feelings of conflict, anger, grief, etc. into their NICU careers and have problems because of that (and cause problems for others.)

Also, it's a mistake to assume that just because you had certain experiences as a NICU mom and/or reacted to the situation in a certain way ... that other mothers will have similar experiences and reactions. For example, it would be a mistake to assume that all parents have the same feelings that you felt when you first walked into the NICU ... or that all families/friends reacted the same way yours did, etc. Some nurses understand this and don't make those wrong assumptions about their patients. Other nurses don't understand this and wrongly assume that their personal experiences are/were the same as those of their patients. The more you can separate the two, the better nurse you can be.

So, as you go through nursing school, pay attention to these things. Do you find yourself projecting your personal experiences onto your patients? Do you find yourself being so empathetic with your patients that you have trouble separating their experiences/pain from your own? If so, you might need to work through a few things before you become a NICU nurse. If not, then you'll probably be fine and not have big problems in that area.

Good luck,

llg

fergus51 · Jan 3, 2006

I have seen it work both ways. A lot depends on how you have resolved any "issues" that relate to your past NICU experiences.
I have seen some former NICU moms become great NICU nurses. However, I have also seen some people bring old feelings of conflict, anger, grief, etc. into their NICU careers and have problems because of that (and cause problems for others.)
Also, it's a mistake to assume that just because you had certain experiences as a NICU mom and/or reacted to the situation in a certain way ... that other mothers will have similar experiences and reactions. For example, it would be a mistake to assume that all parents have the same feelings that you felt when you first walked into the NICU ... or that all families/friends reacted the same way yours did, etc. Some nurses understand this and don't make those wrong assumptions about their patients. Other nurses don't understand this and wrongly assume that their personal experiences are/were the same as those of their patients. The more you can separate the two, the better nurse you can be.
So, as you go through nursing school, pay attention to these things. Do you find yourself projecting your personal experiences onto your patients? Do you find yourself being so empathetic with your patients that you have trouble separating their experiences/pain from your own? If so, you might need to work through a few things before you become a NICU nurse. If not, then you'll probably be fine and not have big problems in that area.
Good luck,
llg

I could not agree more!!! I've seen it go both ways too, and the warning about making assumptions based on your experience is particularly important. I saw one nasty incident when parents had decided to withdraw care and the nurse disagreed because her baby was like that and she did just fine.

suzanneuthscsa · Jan 3, 2006

Thanks so much for the info all of you. I think that most of my issues with that time in my life happened on the L&D floor. For some reason the actual birth situation has haunted me far more than the NICU experience. I can see the point that I would need to be careful projecting my experiences onto others. From my two alone, I have seen how each experience is different. For the most part, I have always been very at peace with our time in the NICU. Only two memories seem to be lingering and that is the first time I saw him being bagged, and the day they told us we might need to stop heroic measures. I think that perhaps a trip to the NICU as a student nurse might answer a few of these questions and tell me how I might react emotionally. Thanks again!

dawngloves, BSN, RN · Jan 3, 2006

I agree. It can go either way. I find myself incredibly empathetic to mothers leaving the hospital without their baby. But I'm sure it depends on your own personal experiences.