Overwhelming days... Remember why you became a nurse

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Specializes in Hematology/Oncology.

One of my instructors from nursing school said to keep a journal of all the good days and bad days. It is a reminder of why you love nursing to prevent yourself from burning out. I am honestly too lazy to do it, but I try to hold onto memories that are so significant into my head.

There was a day that I will always remember... I had a patient taking chemotherapy. In Nadir, Susceptible to infection and feeling miserable. I walked into the room she was staring out the window saying "close the door". She looked at me and her face lit up. I asked her if she wanted to get in a wheelchair, mask up, and go to the atrium of the hospital. She was weak, but it meant everything to her. She wouldn't stop thanking me for taking her downstairs. Even though it was 15 minutes, she was glad to get out of her room.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago.

I had a moment where I was walking a patient to the bathroom and I was burnt out. I did 65 hours that week and I am a new grad. I didnt think much of it when I signed up for it, but I was severely regretting it. I remember I was helping a patient walk to the bathroom while she was soiling herself on the way. Thinking "What the heck am I doing with myself. Did I make the right decision on my job?" I was extremely tired at the time. I started feeling really down.

However, I remember what my nursing instructors said to me. Remember the biggest moments of why you want to be a nurse. I thought about that moment and it was an instant recovery for me.

The point I am trying to make is we all have crappy, overwhelming days. Just try to hold onto particular memories whether its written or lodged in your brain and always remember of why you wanted to be a nurse.

Let me clarify my original post

For Patient #1. it wasnt necessarily the cleaning up the stool, nor the fact that that she was having a Cdiff BM during ambulation. It was more along the fact I was getting burnt out. it was my first week of doing 65 hours. I wanted to get extra hours before I do a 60 hour pay period(going on vacation).

I was getting fatigued

Specializes in NICU, PICU, PCVICU and peds oncology.
I had a moment where I was walking a patient to the bathroom and I was burnt out. I did 65 hours that week and I am a new grad. I didnt think much of it when I signed up for it, but I was severely regretting it. I remember I was helping a patient walk to the bathroom while she was soiling herself on the way. Thinking "What the heck am I doing with myself. Did I make the right decision on my job?" I was extremely tired at the time. I started feeling really down.

I would guess that your patient was having a far worse day than you were. Put yourself in her shoes for just a second. The total loss of dignity she experienced can't possibly be the lesser of two evils here. Our patients have no choice but to allow us into their lives at their most vulnerable moments and so much rests on how we react at times like these. Sure, cleaning up stool from a variety of surfaces isn't the first thing on my to-do list, but needing the care and compassion of what amounts to a stranger isn't on her list either.

It's so important that people who choose a nursing career do it for the right reasons. Patients are the whole reason the profession exists. The outing you offered to the first patient in your post is no more valued by that patient than a matter-of-fact, "these things happen" clean-up and fresh gown is valued by patient #2. Please don't lose sight of that.

Specializes in Hematology/Oncology.
I would guess that your patient was having a far worse day than you were. Put yourself in her shoes for just a second. The total loss of dignity she experienced can't possibly be the lesser of two evils here. Our patients have no choice but to allow us into their lives at their most vulnerable moments and so much rests on how we react at times like these. Sure, cleaning up stool from a variety of surfaces isn't the first thing on my to-do list, but needing the care and compassion of what amounts to a stranger isn't on her list either.

It's so important that people who choose a nursing career do it for the right reasons. Patients are the whole reason the profession exists. The outing you offered to the first patient in your post is no more valued by that patient than a matter-of-fact, "these things happen" clean-up and fresh gown is valued by patient #2. Please don't lose sight of that.

Let me clarify my original post

For Patient #1. it wasnt necessarily the cleaning up the stool, nor the fact that that she was having a Cdiff BM during ambulation. It was more along the fact I was getting burnt out. it was my first week of doing 65 hours. I wanted to get extra hours before I do a 60 hour pay period(going on vacation).

I was getting fatigued from overworking myself.

Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

I completely understand.

It gets easier as time goes on . . to keep the big picture in mind. To realize that the good will outweigh the bad. And it really does if you stick it out. Sometimes we just need to gut it out putting one foot in front of the other saying "I love my job I love my job I love my job . . . " while slogging through that WORST SHIFT EVER. Eventually, you'll have enough good experiences socked away - and you'll be able to call upon these to get you through the rough times..... just like in any relationship.

From my (Crusty Old Bat) perspective, there are some shifts/experiences that I still pull out of the memory banks as a reference point when needed.... "well, that certainly wasn't fun but it wasn't as bad as ____". It's also good to remember that no matter how hard it gets, we get to go home at the end of our shift - but for our patients, this is their entire reality.

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