Hi all. I need some encouragement and sound advice. This is a longer post but, believe it or not, abridged from the first version which went into way too much detail. Anyway...Very long story...less long:
Started my first NP job in April. Absolutely loved it. Great place, great colleagues, and a supervising MD I really admired and hoped to have mentor me. Immediately I got great patient reviews, patients were actually requesting to switch from other providers to me, and everyone from the receptionists to my supervising MD told me what a fantastic job I was doing.
3 and a half months in, I got seriously injured which put me out of work for almost 2 months. I felt terrible. I tried talking to HR and seeing if there was anyway I could do some work from home. They said no, but assured me my job was secure. I tried staying abreast of research, researching some case studies, and learning more about medicine in general.
When I went back part time (still recovering), things had done a complete 180. I'm hearing that people are uncomfortable with me, that I'm not professional, that I lack common sense, and both my supervising MD and office manager have essentially told me they don't think it's a good fit. I asked them point blank if they were asking me to resign and they said "no, not at all", but were evasive when I asked them why they still wanted to keep me on if they feel like it's a poor fit. I'm guessing they don't want to have to pay for unemployment.
I'm hurt, disappointed, and completely flabbergasted and can only assume they're upset at my having been out for so long. They are now watching me like a hawk and finding fault with nearly everything I do. I've become incredibly anxious all day nearly every day and am terrified I'm going to mess up somehow and they'll find a reason to terminate me for cause.
My husband, NP friends, parents, and former preceptors all agree that they seem to be trying to get me to quit. I'm going to start looking for another job, but I'm obviously confused and upset about the situation.
If I do decide to leave or get fired, how will it look if I can't use them for references? I know I could just use my old preceptors, but I'm worried it's going to look terrible that I won't have a reference from the one person who counts the most - the supervising MD of my first NP job.
Apparently I'm not nearly as competent as I thought - at least in their eyes - and for all intents and purposes I've only had my NP job for 4 and a half months, not the 6 that my resume would indicate. I'm nervous about having to explain the situation and worried it will look awful on paper that I'd be leaving after only 6 months.
. I was spoken to the other day for asking the woman who handles our referrals if there was someone local who handled bariatric surgery requests (something I've only had a patient request once) because I should have known the answer.
My response
This is bullsh*t. Not only is it disrespectful to be told "you should have know the answer." It seems they are looking for a list of things to terminate you. How did it get to your boss that you asked The referral person a question about referrals.
Have you sent sent out resumes. Any prospects? You cannot thrive in a non-supportive environment like this.
Specializes in Family Medicine, Tele/Cardiac, Camp.
This is a quote from OP above
. I was spoken to the other day for asking the woman who handles our referrals if there was someone local who handled bariatric surgery requests (something I've only had a patient request once) because I should have known the answer.
My response
This is bullsh*t. Not only is it disrespectful to be told "you should have know the answer." It seems they are looking for a list of things to terminate you. How did it get to your boss that you asked The referral person a question about referrals.
Have you sent sent out resumes. Any prospects? You cannot thrive in a non-supportive environment like this.
Yeah. It's BS. One of their big criticisms is that the questions I ask are too simple for someone who has been there as long as I have and that I should know the answers. I was even told that it's not about my clinical judgement but I guess more along the lines of office policies and procedures? They've included the bariatric thing as well as some other administrative type questions about situations I seldom encounter.
I've come to find out that several people have essentially been told to watch me and report back to my MD. Thus perhaps explaining why people have been acting odd around me. I can now better understand how they must feel. Can't be too comfortable having your boss ask you to spy on a co-worker with whom you prevously had a good relationship. Ugh. I'm trying to be cordial, but very distant. Doing most of my charting and phone calls now in one of the back rooms away from other staff. But it's very walking-on-eggshells and it sucks.
I've updated my resume and begun applying online. It's tough since I live in a rural area and have a no-compete clause, but I'll be working on things more tenaciously this weekend so here's hoping something comes from it.
Thanks again to everyone for all of your support and suggestions.
Would it be too out of place to speak with leadership, express what you're currently sensing in the work environment (without be accusatory) and asking for time to find new employment before any "drastic measures" are taken?
I've had a similar, yet not so drastic situation as you are in. This is the approach that I took and in the end came out with a much more respected and appreciated position where I've been allowed to grow professionally and establish some wonderful connections.
Specializes in Family Medicine, Tele/Cardiac, Camp.
Would it be too out of place to speak with leadership, express what you're currently sensing in the work environment (without be accusatory) and asking for time to find new employment before any "drastic measures" are taken?
I've had a similar, yet not so drastic situation as you are in. This is the approach that I took and in the end came out with a much more respected and appreciated position where I've been allowed to grow professionally and establish some wonderful connections.
I like this suggestion a lot. I've thought about bringing up something like this, but I'm not sure how the whole needing-to-give-three-months-notice fits in. I think I'll bring up your ideas with my MD the next time we meet. We haven't had a meeting in over a week (so that's a good thing), but I'm still really scared. My biggest fear for sure is screwing up somehow, getting fired for cause, and not being able to find a new job.
Specializes in Family Medicine, Tele/Cardiac, Camp.
Super long update with a TL;DR at the end.
Well everyone, I thought I'd post an update. After this thread, things cooled down a lot at work. I had 1 more meeting just a few days later that was equal parts "you've improved on this, good job" and "here's what we're still worried about", my supervising physician was a lot friendlier, more available, encouraging and helpful, and I felt cautiously optimistic that maybe things were starting to smooth over and any issues that they had with me were starting to dissipate. I went back to work full time. I got recognition and praise for how I handled a couple of tricky clinical situations and generally started to feel better.
Mind you, I didn't feel like all was now roses and sunshine and I did continue to look for work. Which is good because after a great week with some terrific patients I came in on a Friday morning in December and BAM. They fired me. I couldn't quit on time. When I asked my MD what had happened and why I was being let go she was again vague and said something like "the clinical stuff we talked about." When I asked which clinical stuff, quoted her previous comment that the clinical stuff wasn't an issue, and mentioned that she had told me in our last meeting that I had improved on x,y and z, she was silent. When I asked her why she didn't approach me if a new issue had arisen, she was silent and actually teared up (?).
I basically informed her that I was sorry it didn't work out, thanked her for the opportunity to work with her, and left gracefully. Albeit being escorted out of the building and not allowed to say goodbye to anyone.
When I texted my other NP colleagues they were very surprised. Whether or not they were telling the truth, they stated that they had no idea, they were very sorry, please let them know if I needed anything, etc. One who has a lot of experience said "Absolutely! Of course!" when I asked her to be a reference. A friend who works in reception told me that the rest of the office was blindsided when they were told I had left and that 2 people (I can guess which ones...very sensitive sweet MA's who liked me a lot...actually started crying). The same friend denied the accusation that patients and front staff had complained about me. "That's all bull s-" she told me and then proceeded to tell me similar gaslighting-type stories about our MD.
In any event, as upsetting as the whole "being fired" thing is for a resume/application I think I'm glad it went down like this. I do end up getting unemployment and I'm ahead of the game as far as job searching is considered.
Takeaways: Looking back on things what stands out the most to me is the fact that my supervising MD wasn't involved in my hiring. I was supposed to do a phone interview with her, but she was on vacation so I interviewed with another MD. On the day I shadowed I was supposed to shadow with her, but she had a med student so I shadowed with another NP. She was not on the panel that interviewed me and ultimately hired me. I think this is huge. I didn't think of it at the time, but I think that if she and I had gotten the chance to know each other a little bit, it could have spared us from this whole experience.
On the other hand, I did appreciate this job. I still can't wrap my mind around how much I learned on a day to day basis and I loved almost all the people I worked with. BUT...the hours were absolutely grueling. And I don't want to have those kinds of hours. So in essence, this was a good starter NP job. I was there for almost 9 months, which isn't nothing, and it taught me a lot both clinically and as far as what I do and do not want from a NP job.
Maybe my thoughts will change if more time goes by and I'm unable to find something that I like, but I'm optimistic. I've already had a lot of realizations about my prior place of employment in terms of their turnover, employee dissatisfaction, and just the sheer amount of time I spent there and the amount of work I ended up bringing home. My husband and I calculated that for the amount of time I actually spent on work (50-60 hours a week when full time - though it was supposed to be 40), I made something like $31 a hour. Much less than what I made as a RN.
I'm going to be interviewing next week at MinuteClinic an hour away since it's one of my sporifice options due to the non-compete clause. Retail Health will have it's own set of challenges and frustrations, but at least the hours are more flexible, I won't have to take PTO for doctors appointments, and I won't have to bring work home with me or deal with someone watching every single move I make.
I'm also looking into locum tenens because adventure and I always wanted to be a travel RN.
Many many thanks, again, to all of you for your help and encouragement through all of this.
TL;DR - Stuff started to get better, but then I was fired in December before I could get a new job. Everyone I worked with was surprised and/or mad or sad, but another NP is willing to be a reference and now I know what I do and do not want from a NP job/supervising MD and I learned a lot in the process. New job prospects include MinuteClinic and/or locum tenens. In conclusion, all of you are awesome and thanks again for your help. :)
Wow...I'm so sorry about what you went through. Sounds like they did you dirty. How can one ever do better if you don't even know what you need to change for future jobs? I wish you all the best in your job-search. The one thing I've learned from lurking here (even though I'm still a student) is to never sign a none compete clause. I hope you get the job...I like that you sound optimistic, and are focused more on the takeaways from this experience.
Specializes in Family Medicine, Tele/Cardiac, Camp.
Another update: Had a fantastic interview with MinuteClinic the other day, got to shadow for a few hours, and was offered the position the next day. I gladly accepted. It might not be a lifetime position, but it looks like it will work very well for now. It's 45 minutes away which isn't too terribly bad, in an ADORABLE town that husband and I are thinking of moving to, the hours look great, the money looks great and I'll be starting next month.
Annnnnnnnnnd then I discovered that I'm unexpectedly pregnant. It's my first which is exciting and welcome even though we weren't trying...but...I'll be starting my new job in the heyday of morning sickness (between week 9 and 10) and the new job's health insurance doesn't kick in until I've been there for 90 days. I'm on state insurance now, but I don't know if I'll qualify for that once I've started collecting a paycheck so...yeah. I created another thread about this here:
In any event, I firmly believe things happen for a reason and I'm excited to see what the next year holds both personally and professionally. Thanks again everyone!
Psychcns
2 Articles; 859 Posts
This is a quote from OP above
. I was spoken to the other day for asking the woman who handles our referrals if there was someone local who handled bariatric surgery requests (something I've only had a patient request once) because I should have known the answer.
My response
This is bullsh*t. Not only is it disrespectful to be told "you should have know the answer." It seems they are looking for a list of things to terminate you. How did it get to your boss that you asked The referral person a question about referrals.
Have you sent sent out resumes. Any prospects? You cannot thrive in a non-supportive environment like this.