Off orientation and freaking out!!!

Published

Specializes in GYN-ONC, MED/ONC, HEM/ONC.

This is my first post here, but I have read many previous posts on this website and have found so much support here for other posters so I felt like it was my turn...

I am off orientation this week and I am so nervous...mostly about doing the right thing and managing my time, today I didn't even eat at all because I was so busy, but it was the worst day. It started when I came in early at 6:30a so I could fill out some vacation request forms, cause I knew I wouldn't have time later. I overheard the resident talking to the night nurse for a patient I would be taking asking her why she hadn't received her 8p decadron, she had recieved chemo the previous day. So the night nurse gave it to her late at 6:30a but it was on an empty stomach and she ended up having vomiting/nausea all morning for which she needed pr compazine/iv zofran: also she was supposed to go home to a nursing home that day. She has a pleurex drain for her ascites which she does herself and the nsg home was supposed to have recieved a fed ex with all supplies for the next week, according to social services. I called them at 1:00pm and spoke the the nurse manager and she said that yes they had recieved the package with vacutainers and tubing. I told her team that the kit was there, and kept them posted on her n/v which subsided later in the day. They said if they have the supplies she can go. So I called to give report at the nursing home and after just asked to make sure do you have the drain supplies and the nurse that would be taking her said to let her double check. At this time my preceptor left (It was 3:00 and I was supposed to leave at 3:30). Then the nurse called me back to say that they hadn't recieved the fedex and they didn't have the supplies!!! I said when do you expect to recieve them, and she said not until Monday (it's Wednesday). I said, I spoke to someone two hours ago that told me it had been recieved, when the social worker called back, they said it was a miscommunication. By then my preceptor had left, I was standing there dumbfounded. They said there was a miscommunication...The social worker was standing right there and asked me who I spoke to both times and I told her, but the whole time I felt like a complete idiot-the team decided to not let my pt go, this is after my preceptor had earlier called an ambulance so they were there to pick up my patient....I mean it's better that she didn't go and the supplies not be there...but I told my nurse manager and she was a bit ticked. I ended up staying an extra hour to put out the fire...this at the same time I had blood hung for one patient, another discharge, not to mention a patient desatting from asthma exacerbation...I forced myself to leave at 4pm an cried the whole way home...

I really want to do the best for all my patients, but I am just so frustrated. I try to do the right thing and everything ends up so messed up. There is never enough time or enough help....

Is this normal? Should I just stick with it? Will it get better?

I am a new nurse of two months, working in Medical Oncology (Gyn onc is my passion), and I used to do psych. Any encouragement and support is greatly, immensely appreciated!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Too many to list.

I think you are doing an amazing job. I currently work in LTC, and I can tell you that follow thru from hospital to nursing home is seldom very thorough, and frequently doesn't occur at all so I am impressed with your very sincere efforts.

Why are you taking it on yourself that the patient didn't go the nursing home, the ambulance was called, the supplies didn't arrive, and your nurse manager was miffed. You did great, and you followed through, and you cared. Darling, you can not fix everything. You can only do your best. None of the rest is your stuff. I wish I could tell you it won't be like this all the time. What I can tell you is that you will adapt, you will multi task, and people will still have unrealistic expectations of what one nurse can reasonably do. However, with increased experience, what will change is your attitude towards yourself. Be kind to yourself already.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I work in LTC as well, and I WISH that half of the nurses at the local hospitals showed the initiative that you obviously do!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion