Pt comes in, ask her what brought her in today, she says that MD checked her in the office and then she had some spotting so she thinks that her "mucous cord broke".
Checked a pt, she was 4 cm-primip. Her mother starts having a freak out fit and says that I need to call the doctor right away. I ask why, she says "because all of my babies were born when I was only dilated to 5 cm." BTW, pt ended up with c section for failure to progress at 8 cm several hours later.
Pt came in at 30 weeks in "labor" for the 6th time in 3 weeks, cervix was thick and closed and she told me that the last time she was in she was crowning when she came in but the nurse pushed the head back in and told her to go home. (cool new treatment for ptl!!)
roll BTW, this pt also had c section at full term for failure to progress-I guess whe should push those heads up there more often!
Pt called MD and said that she had some bleeding after she had a BM. MD said that it sounded like some rectal bleeding, maybe from hemmroids and it was a very small amt so she didn't need to worry about it. Pt then said "it isn't coming from that hole, it is coming from, you know the other hole." MD replied "you mean your vagina." Pt says "well, yeah, I think so, but I'm not sure." Pt had said that it was a little bit of blood on the tissue so MD told her it was probably not a problem, told pt to watch for heavier bleeding and see her in the office on monday (this was a saturday afternoon). The pt said "are you sure?" The MD does not like it when people ask her if she is sure so she said "You don't know your butt from your vagina and YOU are asking ME if I'M sure?" Pt sent her flowers on monday with a card that said hope you had a good weekend!
Come on, I know that you all have some good ones to share with the rest of us!!!!