Nursing School Essay

[samnwill23]

Can anyone give my any pointers for my essay for my nursing school application. This is just my rough draft but i don't know if its too personal they asked for a 200 word minimum essay for objectives, goals and interests for the program and my career as a nurse.

A smile can make all the difference in the world”

I am not perfect. I have made mistakes. I have changed my mind, and changed it again. I did not always want to be a nurse. I really had to take some time to examine my life and decide what my career would be. When I was seventeen, I job shadowed my mother who at the time was an LPN for a home health clinic. After my mother got her paperwork together we set out to the first patient's home. When we walked through the door a woman smiled the biggest smile I had ever seen. My mother walked in and talked with her for what seemed like forever as if they had known each other all their lives. Before we left the woman said You are the one thing I know I can look forward to everyday to make me smile.” That is when I decided the path for my life. I wanted to be someone that a patient can look forward to. I do not just want to be someone who takes blood pressure; I whole heartedly want to make people feel better. I want to give people hope that their day or even their lives will get better. I know if I am given the opportunity I will succeed above and beyond expectation in school as well as in my nursing career. Attending the prestigious nursing program at Fletcher will be providing me with a quality education with detailed academic preparation giving me a high chance of success in obtaining a career doing what I am passionate about. . I have enjoyed the difficulty and challenging coursework so far and look forward to expanding my knowledge during clinical phases. After completing my Associates degree I will begin working on my Bachelors degree at Nicholls. Following my Bachelors I will be continuing my education until I have become a nurse anesthetist. I will be the first person in my entire family who has finished college with a degree. I want my son to be proud of me, I want my family to be proud of me, but most of all I want to be proud of myself. I want to hold my degree in my hand and know that it gives me the power to go and make a difference in someone's life.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

[emmjayy, BSN, RN]

Take out the first five sentences. It will do you no good to lead off with negatives about your personality and history. Also, I would focus more on what you want to contribute to the profession/your patients, and proof read really carefully. I don't want to write your essay for you, but there are a few grammatical errors that should definitely be ironed out.

[Zyprexa_Ho]

Definitely agree with Emmjayy, the point of this essay is to sell yourself to the people reading it. You don't want to give them any reason to doubt you being a good applicant. Stick with only "positives." Otherwise, your essay looks pretty good besides a few grammar issues.