samnwill23

Thank you for your feedback but for future commenters I'm not an idiot I know that I should be capitalized and I know that there are a good bit of grammer errors this is just a rough draft just wanted an opinion of overall essence of the piece and also it is broken down into paragraphs but it did not paste corectly.

The nursing school essay say that it must be a minimum of 200 words explaining my goals and interests in pursuing a nursing degree and career. Im not sure if this is too long or if i am giving to much of a back story to what made me want to become a nurse. I just need some feedback. When I was sixteen years old I started volunteering at my local nursing home because I felt like contributing to the well being of another person just for the enjoyment was the right thing to do. When I first started we would organize bingo games, give the women a spa day and the men a mock fishing trip to raise the spirits of the residents. One day I noticed that there was one woman who never left her room, for weeks I passed by wondering about her well being. Then one day while talking with my supervisor I asked who she was and if she had a physical ailment that prevented her from participating in the activities. She told me that the womans name was Mrs. Emma Williams and physically she was able to walk and speak but that she had been placed there over ten years ago by her children and has not had a single visitor since. She said no matter what we do she wont leave the room and rarely does she speak to anyone unless she has a problem. She had developed dementia due to her age and her children decided it was to much for them to handle. As i listened to my supervisor tell me the backstory I literally had a bad feeling in my stomach and it was not pity for Mrs. Williams but compassion. The next day i made it a point that even if she doesnt talk to anyone I would still stop in and try to talk with her. The next day I knocked on her door even though it was already open and walked in. She ignored the knock and continued to watch television as if I wasnt there. I walked to the foot of the bed and said hi my name is samantha how are you doing today. When she finally looked up at me I thought she was going to burst into tears I thought maybe somehow I had upset her and asked if I could return later in the day. She sat very quit for a moment and then she said Sabrina my baby! Ive missed you so much! I had no idea but after looking at the night stand with the photo of who i assumed was her daugther I did bear a similar resemblence. I really didnt know what to say because i was only a volunteer and didnt know if it was appropriate or if i would get in trouble if i did not tell her that i was not her daughter. But regardless she had her arms out for a hug and i just hugged her and asked how she had been doing. She talked with me for almost an hour and a half about a lot of things and then I gave her a hug and told her I would be back the following day. I walked from her room and to my supervisors office to tell her what had happened and the look of shock on her face made me think i had possibly did the wrong thing, but once i had finished she simply said that if I had got her to talk then to continue doing the same thing. The next day when I approched her room she was sitting up in her bed combing her hair. She was once again excited to see me and after talking for a while she asked me if i could bring her in the sun room and we could have lunch there. Everyday I saw an improvement in her well being she started to smile and laugh with other residents and participate in activities. Whether i was really her daughter our not i was so happy that i could make someone else that happy. Once i became a senior in high school i had to limit my volunteering hours to once a week. I still went to her room everyday that i was there and she was still just as happy as always. About a year after i first met the woman who i had come to look at as a second mother I went to the hospital to volunteer for my weekly shift and my supervisor informed me that Mrs. Emma had passed away early that morning and that her family had been informed. I asked if i could have a few minutes and I went out to my car and cried for what seemed like forever. Three weeks later I recieved a letter from my supervisor that was addressed to me from Mrs. Emma. She told me she was sorry but she had to get permission from Mrs. Emmas daughter before giving me the letter. I thought i was going to drop the letter while trying to open it because my hands were shaking. This is what the letter said "To the beautiful young woman in the green scrubs, I wanted you to know that you made me happier than i have been in a very long time. I know you are not my daughter and I knew from the day you came in. But i want you to know the kindness you have shown me just to make me happy lets me know that there are good people in this world and you were put here for other people. I thank you for your time and your wonderful spirit Samantha, Love Mrs. Emma. Once again i cried and that is the moment that i realized that she was right and even though she was gone showing compassion and kindness to others completed me as a person. I dont only want to be knowledgable in my career but i want to make people feel better emotionally as well as physically. I want those i am responsible for to know that i truely care about them their family and their lives. I want to become a nurse so that i can help others in such a way that their lives become better because i cared for them. I want to become a graduate of Fletcher Technical Community College associate degree for nursing program because nursing is my calling and what I want to do for the rest of my life. Once I graduate from this program I will be continuing my eduacation until I reach the education level of nurse anethesist. In the far future once I have completed all of my schooling I would like to also teach nursing before retirement. My goal for nursing school is to complete the program with a 4.0 GPA and become valedictorian of my class. I thank you for your time and consideration and I look forward to becoming a Fletcher graduate for the year 2017!

Can anyone give my any pointers for my essay for my nursing school application. This is just my rough draft but i don't know if its too personal they asked for a 200 word minimum essay for objectives, goals and interests for the program and my career as a nurse. A smile can make all the difference in the world” I am not perfect. I have made mistakes. I have changed my mind, and changed it again. I did not always want to be a nurse. I really had to take some time to examine my life and decide what my career would be. When I was seventeen, I job shadowed my mother who at the time was an LPN for a home health clinic. After my mother got her paperwork together we set out to the first patient's home. When we walked through the door a woman smiled the biggest smile I had ever seen. My mother walked in and talked with her for what seemed like forever as if they had known each other all their lives. Before we left the woman said You are the one thing I know I can look forward to everyday to make me smile.” That is when I decided the path for my life. I wanted to be someone that a patient can look forward to. I do not just want to be someone who takes blood pressure; I whole heartedly want to make people feel better. I want to give people hope that their day or even their lives will get better. I know if I am given the opportunity I will succeed above and beyond expectation in school as well as in my nursing career. Attending the prestigious nursing program at Fletcher will be providing me with a quality education with detailed academic preparation giving me a high chance of success in obtaining a career doing what I am passionate about. . I have enjoyed the difficulty and challenging coursework so far and look forward to expanding my knowledge during clinical phases. After completing my Associates degree I will begin working on my Bachelors degree at Nicholls. Following my Bachelors I will be continuing my education until I have become a nurse anesthetist. I will be the first person in my entire family who has finished college with a degree. I want my son to be proud of me, I want my family to be proud of me, but most of all I want to be proud of myself. I want to hold my degree in my hand and know that it gives me the power to go and make a difference in someone's life. Thank you for your time and consideration.