Declining contingent job offer?

[jomardev]

So I interviewed on one of closest friends floors. The interview went so well and I was offered a contingent job offer the next day! I was ecstatic and I said yes. I've been waiting for this job for a while now. However, in the last week there have been many changes in my home life. I feel the need to put my family first and I don't want them to suffer emotionally and financially since this new job would be a commute for me. I'd have to consider driving costs (80 miles one way) and lodging if I'm too tired to drive. In addition to other bills we have at home.

After talking it over, I'm leaning towards decline the job offer but what's the best way to decline without burning bridges? I'm so very grateful for the offer, but I don't know that it will work out for me right now. I did the new hire paperwork but haven't signed anything formal yet. The staff that interviewed me was wonderful and their manager was also great. Do I just tell HR I'm declining? Should I call the manager that interviewed me as well? Help! 😔

[Jules A, MSN]

I would just tell them things have changed and although you are thrilled for the offer you must decline.

FWIW I have seen this in the past and it always puzzles me why someone would waste their and the facilities time. Surely things like the distance and your family obligations were there when you started this process? Hopefully your friend didn't go out on a limb recommending you.

[jomardev]

I would just tell them things have changed and although you are thrilled for the offer you must decline.

FWIW I have seen this in the past and it always puzzles me why someone would waste their and the facilities time. Surely things like the distance and your family obligations were there when you started this process? Hopefully your friend didn't go out on a limb recommending you.

Thank you for advice. Though, I never meant to waste the facilities time. If I did not want the job in the first place, I would not have bothered to apply or even go to the interview. I'm so thankful for my friend and I hate the situation I am in. Yes, I had family obligations before but like I said things have changed over the past week. Honestly if my situation had stayed the same, I would have no reason to reject the offer. This is already painful decision as it is. 😕

[NICUmiiki, DNP, NP]

Thank you for advice. Though, I never meant to waste the facilities time. If I did not want the job in the first place, I would not have bothered to apply or even go to the interview. I'm so thankful for my friend and I hate the situation I am in. Yes, I had family obligations before but like I said things have changed over the past week. Honestly if my situation had stayed the same, I would have no reason to reject the offer. This is already painful decision as it is. 😕

I get it. Sometimes you don't consider all of the pros and cons before pursuing it... It wasn't real until you got the offer, then you had to consider all of the possibilities.

I would tell them how thrilled you were for the offer. But after considering your family's needs, you've realized that you can't commit to the commute. If you move closer, you'd love to work there.

[jomardev]

I get it. Sometimes you don't consider all of the pros and cons before pursuing it... It wasn't real until you got the offer, then you had to consider all of the possibilities.

I would tell them how thrilled you were for the offer. But after considering your family's needs, you've realized that you can't commit to the commute. If you move closer, you'd love to work there.

Yes, everything was planned out which was great. After the offer a lot of the plans fell through and it doesn't seem feasible anymore. I'd be taking a paycut, less hours and spending more. Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it so much.