Telemarketers.....

Nurses Humor

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I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.

ME: Hello.

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ....

ME: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....

ME: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.Byron, please?

ME: May I ask who is calling?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

ME: Ok, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes

thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

ME: Hello?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?

ME: May I ask who is calling, please?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: The phone company?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company..

ME: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like

to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest)

Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

ME: 7 days a week?

AT&T: That's right.

ME: 365 days a year?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

AT&T: We think so!

ME: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one

big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

AT&T: Excuse me?

ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about?

ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day,

7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay

us 10 cents a minute.

ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that

you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...

ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?

AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?

ME: Yeth?

SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our

10 cents a minute program.

ME: Is This A T & T?

SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.

ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I

could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the

person who was helping you.

ME: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more

mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there

was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested

in signing up for our plan?

ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and

Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a

little brother...

AT&T: click........

:roll :chuckle :roll

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Wish I would have read this about 15 min ago. Phone Company Just called (SBC) lol... he he he he he

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LOL!!!! You're as bad as my husband! He's a chain yanker too!

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We answer the phone with "accents" and say things like "no english" or "who? you want?"

One time, after about 10 in a row in one night hubby said "naw...he died dude!" I was laughing so hard!!! he used his best "stoner voice" too!!!

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This is too funny. I am sitting here at work laughing at this. I think we all want to to that sometimes, but just don't.

Thanks for sharing.

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Originally posted by nurseshell

We answer the phone with "accents" and say things like "no english" or "who? you want?"

One time, after about 10 in a row in one night hubby said "naw...he died dude!" I was laughing so hard!!! he used his best "stoner voice" too!!!

We do that too!:rotfl: :rotfl:

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I've read that before, and I must say, that person has a lot more patience with telemarketers than I do. I absolutely hate them. I usually hang up, and then wish I'd either taken the time to take out my frustrations on them, tell them to take them off my list, or both.

I have no problem being rude to them. I didn't ask them to call and interrupt whatever we're doing. I will NEVER, EVER buy ANYTHING from a telemarketer.

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My hubby is really good with numbers (he gets that stuff - ick) so every once in a while if he's reallybored he'll answer if it's a mortgage company...the "kids" they hire don't know jack about interest rates, points, etc...he "plays" with them for a while - he put it on speaker once...poor kid!!! He was writhing in stupidity - you could hear it!! I felt so bad for him (the telemarketer that is)

Most of the time we look at the caller ID, if it's not someone we know we don't answer...the machine picks up, they hang up. Drives me nuts!! Dang phone range 5 different times last night between 5:00 and 7:00 all telemarketers!!! grrrrrr

I love the line "We're working on a house in your neighborhood/down the street/whatever and are offering a special deal while we're there...blah, blah, blah....new roof, vinyl siding, dual paned windows, etc..." Um!! HELLO?! if you were REALLY in my neighborhood you'd know that I already have all of those things....stupid person!! Do I have "stupid" written on my forehead? (don't answer that)...besides...none of my neighbors are "having work done"...

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I, too, love the "we were working down the street" routine. Someone called just last week with that line. They were putting vinyl siding on my neighbor's house and offfered me a "great deal" since they were already in the neighborhood. "What?" I said. "You want to put vinyl siding on my brick house???"

They just hung up without another word.

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:rotfl: Kristy

or how about "you have WON a free trip", it will only cost you X amount per person..:chuckle

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Or..."I've been trying to reach you" really? I've been here all day for the past X number of days...you didn't try very hard did you?!?! duh!

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Long Term Care.

LOL-- Great post, emily_mom!

Last year, Pennsylvania began a "Do Not Call" list you could sign up for and it's been pretty amazing how many fewer telemarketing calls we get compared to a year ago. We'd get a half dozen hang ups/day on our Caller ID. There are just a few exceptions: (From the PA Do Not Call website)

http://www.nocallsplease.com/

You may still receive calls:

-Made in response to a consumer's previous express request.

-In reference to an existing debt, contract, payment or performance.

-When an established business relationship between the consumer and the entity making the call currently exists.

-Made on behalf of a tax-exempt charitable or fraternal organization.

-Made on behalf of a veterans' organization.

-Made on behalf of a political candidate.

Before I signed up for this list, I said pretty much the same thing to telemarketers: "I don't accept ANY telephone solicitation. Please take my name off your list."

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