Rules for Chocolate

  1. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

    Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

    The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
    The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

    Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

    If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.

    Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

    If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

    Money talks. Chocolate sings.

    Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

    Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

    A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

    If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

    Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
    A. Because no one wants to quit.
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    About betts

    Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 1,024; Likes: 20
    Nursing Mgmt.


  3. by   Mkue
    Betts, this is the best !!!!

  4. by   jamistlc
    Good judgment comes from experience, and experience---well, that comes from poor judgment

    You said it all in your signature statement. I assume you have practiced these principals in your chocolate eating experience!
  5. by   petiteflower
    you forgot if you drink diet pop with chocolate, it cancels out the calories in the chocolate
  6. by   judy ann
    My philosophy is that I cannot trust someone who is not a chocoholic. There must be something drastically wrong with them!
    Last edit by judy ann on Apr 28, '02
  7. by   donmurray
    There's a mildly sexist (hehehe) ad running here, where men are being attacked by women at every turn, even for just saying "Hello." The voiceover goes on about this living Hell, then all the assembled victims turn to camera to say thank you to their rescuers, the makers of a new CHOCOLATE bar!!!