Proper Narrative Descriptions

  1. Office of the Fire Chief
    To: All Riding Members
    From: Chief of Operations

    Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

    It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.

    1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to with MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

    2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP (Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

    3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

    4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."

    5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

    6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."

    7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen", nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge".

    8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), or NLPR (no long playing records).

    I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of our patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper narratives and log entries.
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    About emily_mom

    Joined: Jul '02; Posts: 3,872; Likes: 18


  3. by   baseline
    And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," LMAO
  4. by   Andy S.
    I am so taking this to work!!!! Loved it
  5. by   rebel_red
    I am laughing so hard I have just snorted diet coke all over my keyboard, the hard way. (Through the nose!)

  6. by   emily_mom
    Ooh, I feel your pain Rebel!!! Hope you're feeling better!
  7. by   JedsMom
  8. by   Sleepyeyes
    Hilarious!! Thanks! I needed that!!
  9. by   EFMBholder
    I almost inhaled my sunflower seeds. I love it Also try DRT- dead right there.
  10. by   maggie7
    Almost snorted my milk onto monitor! Laughing out loud!
  11. by   Mkue
    Hilarious !!:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  12. by   Gizmed
    Its posted already!:roll

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