Only In America!!

Nurses Humor

Published

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

Only in America ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America ... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in America ... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get >their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet coke.

Only in America ... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put, our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we will not miss a call from someone we did not want to talk to in the first place. > > Only in America ... do we buy hot dogs in packages > of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America ... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Oh so true -- aren't we a bunch of silly people!

Specializes in NICU.

Only in America ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet coke.

This one always gets me. Seriously guys, it's like an extra 200 calories. Doesn't make a huge difference looking at it next to the 2000 you just ordered.

When I worked in a sandwich shop people would come in and order a salad, iced tea or a diet soda. After they had eaten they would come up and ask if we had cookies...or chips. :chuckle

I also worked in a bakery. Smart alecks would always ask if the donuts were lo-calorie. After awhile I would tell them that in fact they were lo-calorie...as long as they stayed in the bakery, as soon as they went out the door all the calories would slam back into their bodies.

Then there was the lady who wanted a lo-calorie soup. I made all of our soups from scratch with the freshest ingredients. I made a vegan soup that had a max of 60 calories in a cup serving. Still, everyday she would bemoan the fact we didn't have a soup lower in calories. One day I had a bright idea, funny too! I told her we had finally perfected the perfect NO calorie soup, she was happy and ordered a bowl...I took her a bowl of hot water...she didn't think I was funny, but she did quit complaining about my soups. :rotfl:

+ Add a Comment