New Meds that are out Today

Nurses Humor

Published Jan 2, 2003

DIPLOMATICRN4HIRE, MSN, RN

501 Posts

Specializes in CVOR,CNOR,NEURO,TRAUMA,TRANSPLANTS.

new meds for women:

damitol - take 2 and the rest of the world can go to h%ll for up to 8 hours.

st. mom's wort - plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

empty nestrogen - highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

peptobimbo - liquid silicone for single women. two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.

dumerol - when taken with peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low i.q. , causing enjoyment of country western music.

flipitor - increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

antiboyotics - when administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

menicillin - potent antiboyotic for older women. increases resistance to such lines as, "you make me want to be a better person... can we get naked now?"

buyagra - injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. increases potency and duration of spending spree.

extra strength buy-one-all - when combined with buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a donny osmond cd or a book by dr. laura.

jackasspirin - relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

antitalksident - a spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

sexcedrin - more effective than excedrin in treating the, "not now, dear, i have a headache," syndrome.

thought you may enjoy this

zoe