Murphy's Other Laws

  1. Jnette and Ted said they liked my new sig line so I thought I'd post the list from where I got it. Hopefully it isn't "old news".


    1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
    2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
    3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
    4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
    5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
    6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
    7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
    8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
    9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
    10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
    11 He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.
    12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "June
    13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
    misquoted and used against you.
    14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
    15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
    16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.
    17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
    18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
    19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs
    and blame it on the higher cost of living.
    20. Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
    22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
    someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
    23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
    25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
    26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
    those who got there first.
    27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and
    he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
    28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
    29. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
    30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
    31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
    32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
    33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
    34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
    35. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
    people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
    36. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
    bright until you hear them speak.
  2. Visit Spidey's mom profile page

    About Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN Guide

    Joined: Dec '02; Posts: 41,752; Likes: 48,064


  3. by   Good_Queen_Bess
    <IMG src=> V funny
  4. by   tattooednursie
    LMAO!!!! that is funny. My favorite is

    11 He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged. I'll have to pull that one off at work. If I can just pronounce it lol.
  5. by   Spidey's mom
    Mandi - I tried to pronounce it at work yesterday and failed miserably.

    Try a sign . . . :-)

  6. by   jnette
    Steph, these are GREAT !!! Wooooooooot !!!

    GOTTA remember some of these ! Geesh, and when I WANT to remember them, I won't be able to...

    Thanx for sharing these ... VERY funny !
  7. by   gwenith
    :chuckle Very Good! Steph!!
  8. by   teeituptom
    Number 36 reminds me of the Bushie