i was in a patients room helping an assitant (not mine) put a patient on a cart. i got my assistant to help and as we were pulling her she **** all over the place.
she was the kind of patient who makes up for her lack of orientation in the volume of her sound. she would scream nonsense out into the halls. one thing she like to yell was WATER...GET ME SOME WATER...
you could have stood there forever giving her water. In between the gulps she was screaming she needed water.
The other patients and family members thought we were keeping her prisoner and abusing her.
So my assistant and I are waiting for the other to come back with some linnens and the woman of course, asks for water. my assistant looks at her and says NO. im just standing there wondering what??? And this old woman is also astonished. She stops puckering to scream W A T E R again but realizes the resoponse is different so she looks right at my assistant and asks WHY?
this is the FIRST bit of sense she made since her admission three days ago. i am amazed by the scene thats playing before my eyes.
BECAUSE YOU **** ON MY FRIEND THATS WHY
i couldnt believe my assitant said that.
i didnt know what to do for a minute. then i just turned around and walked out of the room. i thought i would pizz myself.
Apr 7, '02
That is funny, you didn't pizz yourself did you? How did your assistant know to talk to her like that. that is the amazing part.
this is what I did that is sort of funny.
I was walking past a room and heard the family and patient talking about water, I went straight to get them water on my way back the family member was in the door way looking for someone to get water. I then went in the room with the water and they all smiled and laughed. I said " you thought of water didn't you" and they really laughed then.
I never told them how i knew.
Apr 7, '02
Why not? I thought that was pretty funny!
Apr 8, '02
After an entire night of trying to keep one cute little confused lady in bed (she was on strict bed rest), she had had it with me! She told me to "go to hell". I had tried to re-orient her several times, so at this time I quit. I told her, "well, I have been there and didn't like it so I came back!" LOL. She looked me dead in the eye and said "You're the devil himself!". I about died laughing, tried so hard to keep a strait face as I was putting her back to bed!
Apr 8, '02
Sometimes you just can't help but laugh. It's such a GREAT stress reliever...
Apr 8, '02
no..lol...i didnt pizz myself...my assitant knew she could get away with it cos this patients mind was gone. still, i dont like when ppl mess with the patients like that. i was just so damn shocked that it came out of her mouth i couldnt do anything but laff.
ive been told i was the devil too...lol
Apr 8, '02
The times that I'm most likely to be called Nurse Ratchett, or the devil or a mean b***h is when I'm working with a day old CABG and telling them to hug that pillow and cough! Wish they could know then how good and essential it is for them! I'm starting to keep track of all the names I'm called!
Apr 8, '02
I had an elderly confused pt once who kept insisting that she needed to get home to feed your her youngest child. She was very distraught. She was on a heparin drip and kept crawling OOB. Finally, I called her family and learned that this particular child had died some years ago and this behavior was quite normal for her. The next time she tried to get OOB, I gently re-explained that the child she was worried about had already passed away and she didn't need to worry anymore about cooking for him. Without haste she told me, "Oh, I know he's dead. It's no trouble cooking for him." Then she leaned close to me and whispered seriously "you know dead people don't eat very much".
Apr 9, '02
sometimes laughter is the best medicine.....even if the medicine is for us nurses!!!
Apr 10, '02
These posts brought me back in time to nursing school when everyone is supposed to be oriented back to reality..I had to have been out of school about 6 months when I was on the med surg floor and of COURSE had a little old lady who was able to get out of any restrain...She kept insisiting there was a dog under her bed. I kept insisting she was in the hospital and there was no way there could be a dog under her bed. After about 3 hours of this, I was way behind in paperwork and almost out of patience, so the next time I heard her trying to get out of bed, I went to her door and calmly called the "dog" out from under the bed..I told her I had given him to the dog officer and he was gone for good. SHE slept the rest of the night, and I learned a valuable lesson, ( however, for some time after that I checked over my shoulder to be sure there was no instructor there )
Before I went to said nursing school, I worked as a nursing assistant on another medical floor. There was an elderly woman continuously calling out to God. Finally one of the nurses opened the intercom system and said, "Grace, this is God. I need you to go to sleep now.... I remember thinking that was funny , but that I would probably NEVER do such a thing-ahh the sweet stupid innocense of youth)... Afterwards, I thought it was the greatest thing in the world...Then, too, you quickly learn to teach confused patients the name of the nurse working with you.......
Apr 17, '02
This morning, I was reviewing my pt's old chart and in the H&P a Physician had entered "will increase his room air O2 to 80mg IV push Q6h"
I'm still trying to figure out how to do that one.
Apr 19, '02
When i was working as a CNA, we had one patient that I had picked up on ambulance a day earlier that had fractured her hip. This patient had a history of heavy ETOH abuse and was confused when we picker her up at her home. Well, she was one day post-op and even more confused. Trying to climb out of bed and pull all of the tubes out. The RN tried everything and could not get her to calm down and finally out of desperation got an order for wrist restraints.
We were just finishing up her cares and the doctor came in and was talking to the patient. She was still confused (although I suspect a shot of whiskey would have cured her) and just before the doc was ready to leave the room he asked if there was anything else he could do for her. She said " Yes call the cops, these two bi#$*es are keeping me hostage." The RN and I just looked at each other. The doc made a very fast escape.
A little later we were getting her up in a chair and just got her settled and comfortable and she said "You two are so nice and helpful, I jut can't figure one thing out." We asked what is that and she said "i can't figure who is is the mother and who is the daughter."
Apr 19, '02
94yr old confused lady with UTI. I gave her some wash clothes to fold in the ER to keep her from pulling at her IV.
When we transferred her to the floor and were getting ready to move her over to the bed she yelled out "NO! NO! I HAVE TO FOLD THESE BEFORE SHE GETS BACK!!!!" That poor poor old lady. Our hearts went out to her. But you gotta admit that was funny.