Has a pt given you a chuckle lately?

Used and abused · May 16, 2003

I remember once when the lap choles were brand new, an LPN was very nervous since she had to take care of the man afterwards.

He was brought to the room and she assessed him, got vitals etc.

I came down the hall, she was sitting there with this weird look on her face, saying"What do they put on there for dressings? " I replied, "They use gauze and put a clear dressing over it.

She said, "Don't they use cotton balls?"

She got red in the face and said,"OH WHAT I TOLD THAT MAN!

He was asking me what did they do to me? (asking if it was an open chole or lap chole) . I looked under the covers and told him not to worry; there was nothing down there but two little balls now. I was wondering why he looked so panicky!"

We laughed for YEARS about that one.

Used and abused · May 16, 2003

I worked in OB and gave a dad-to-be a gown to cover himself with. He gave me a strange look but I explained about keeping everything as clean as possible. He came in and it was a beautiful birth; untroubled and natural. He was beaming holding his new son. When I walked around him, I realized he had taken off all his clothes and his bare behind was showing from the back!

He said he thought it was what I wanted!

Liddle Noodnik · May 16, 2003

those are PRECIOUS! ha ha ha ha!

Rhoresmith · May 16, 2003

OH that is so funny, These have been great.

Rhonda

canadian · May 17, 2003

We have an 8 year old Boy who has been to hell and back....

Tonight as I was trying to finish all my charting he brought out his little CD player and began belting out Brittany Spears... We all thought we would pee ourselves to hear this little guy screeching "Do you really want to do me....."

He told us it was for nursing week.

I guess only the lucky nurses get live music!

NurseChick · May 21, 2003

Last week one of the male residents at our LTC facility was yelling at one of our female residents for some reason or another. He was sitting up in the main area of the facilty. A little while later she was given her pills and with the water she had left in her water glass, she walked up to him and threw it in his face!

Then just last evening when I worked, another male resident yelled at her in the dining room for touching something. She was in a toot and had come back out of the dining room and was cussing up a storm. We were down in the dining room helping feed residents when this lady came back into the dining room and doused the guy with a glass of water. I went over to the guy and asked if he had said or done anything to her to provoke her. Of course, he states he didn't. I was just going to go have a visit with the lady when she comes back down the hallway to the DR and is carrying a cup of water......she had gone a gotten a refil from the drinking fountain and was going to get him again! I stood in the doorway of the DR so she couldn't get in. She finally gave in and just backed up and sat there. I heard her say, "I'll just get him when he comes out then!" We all got a good kick out of that.

tattooednursie, LVN · May 25, 2003

Yesterday another aide and myself went to get up a confused patient. The other aide said, "We're going to get you up."

"Who's getting me up?"

"We are."

"Oh God, you and that heiffer (sp?) over there?" (refering to me as a heiffer).

We went to go get gloves on, then the woman yelled to the other aide. "What are you doing, breeding your cow!"

Another thing that gave me a chuckle happened the other night. Another aide and I were at the feeder table feeding residents dinner. One resident was being really sweet and blowing kisses at the other aide. The aide blew kisses back at her and looked at her. the resident them said, "Don't ya'll be making eyes at me." And then smiled. Another resident who hardly speaks, and she is confused said, "Ya'll better stop it!" We began laughing hysterically. Then the resident that said "Ya'll better stop it" goes "now shut up ya'll" It began sounding like a saloon from the old days lol.

katieRNlove · May 26, 2003

This was a long time ago but anyway, I was a stna at a LTCF and we had a lady who was first of all huge and second delightfully crazy. One night I was doing rounds and I hear her up and screaming "GERONIMO" "GERONIMO" .I went in and said can I help you with something? She said very snooty "NO, did I ask for your help. Since it was third shift I explained that everyone else was sleeping and she was too loud. Next she says "Well i am just trying to call my brother" I said do you want the Phone? As serious as she could be she answered"No STUPID, my brother is a wolf, he doesn'y know how to uae the phone" Then under her breath she muttered "god they'll hire any dumbass here"!!!

tattooednursie, LVN · May 27, 2003

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

nursemouse · May 27, 2003

I told this one on this forum long ago, but I'll repeat it now: back when I was doing my nursing home gig, there was an end-stage Alzheimer's patient who never spoke: except once. I was inserting her Foley and another colleage was trying to hold her contracted legs for me, when suddenly she chirped up: "Now George, I'm not in the mood." I was so stunned I "contaminated" that Foley and we all burst out laughing.

(Oh, btw: her husband's name was Herbert...) :eek:

JefferyRN · May 31, 2003

Awhile back, I was caring for a college athlete who had fractured his ankle during a football game. He was to be discharged after physical therapy performed crutch training. After my morning assessment, I outlined the events of the day. I told him he could be discharged after "gait training." He turned and looked at his girlfriend sitting at his bedside. He seemed puzzled, so I asked if he understood. He said, "gay training?" After laughing for a moment, I clarified my instructions. He said that he knew this was a teaching hospital, but was quite concerned about what all we were teaching. I laughed for hours.

healingtouchRN · Jun 3, 2003

I had this lol (lil' ol' lady) in the bed right in front of our nurses station, but the problem was I had to go out & around the station to enter her room (another 5 seconds). Well, I saw her go off the monitor, the "leads off" message pops up on the screen, so I walk around just in time to see her naked body, less her IV pole, foley, & leads flapping up the hallway to another confused lom (lil' ol' man)!!! She was pooping the whole way, so I (& my crew of pooper scoopers) were dogging the cowpatties the whole way to get her. She enters the fella's room & starts talking to him, he gives no clue to us that he even noticed she was disrobed!!! What a night!!!! I was frantic/bustin' a gut laughing the whole time! :roll What a mess I had to clean up! But I guess it was worth it for the jolly I got!