Great Truths

  1. Enjoyed these Great Truths sent to my by my friend Barb RN:


    1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
    2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch thesecond person.
    4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
    9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's/Grandpa's lap.


    1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
    2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
    3) Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
    5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the


    1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
    4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers toask you the questions.
    6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
    7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

    1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
    3) You are Santa Claus.
    4) You look like Santa Claus.

    At age 4 success is . . .not peeing in your pants.
    At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
    At age 35 success is . . . having money.
    At age 50 success is . . . having money.
    At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
    At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
    Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh
  2. Visit NRSKarenRN profile page

    About NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN Moderator

    Joined: Oct '00; Posts: 27,548; Likes: 13,755
    Utilization Review, prior Intake Mgr Home Care; from PA , US
    Specialty: 40 year(s) of experience in Home Care, Vents, Telemetry, Home infusion


  3. by   caroladybelle
    Never do anything well that you don't like doing.

    Because people will keep making you do it over and over again.
  4. by   nakitamoon
    LMAO NurseKarenRN,,,,,,,,,,,

    These are soooooo true,,,,,,,,:roll

  5. by   sharann

    These are so great. Thank you BarbRN for the wonderful laugh. Much truth in the humor though!
  6. by   bandaidexpert
    When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

    What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?

    What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

    What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?

    Is there another word for synonym?

    If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

    If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

    If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while your ahead"?!

    If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?

    If a tin whistle is made out of tin, what exactly is a fog horn made out of?

    What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Company?

    How much deeper would the oceans be without sponges?

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