Funny things patients say !

Nurses Humor

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While working in the emergency room I was taking care of a 90 year old lady who came in by wheelchair from a local rest home. Her complaint was right leg swelling and we found an obvious deformity of the femur but she denied any pain. An x-ray revealed a femur facture and the orthopedist was called. It was quite a long wait and I heard the patient call out "nurse come in here". I went to her and she asked me to get her up into her wheelchair, I explained to her that her leg was broken and she needed to stay in bed. She replied very seriously "only one of them is broken I can still scoot around in my chair now get me up out of this bed!"

I still giggle when I think of a story my mom told me about having her first baby. She say the only way to have a baby is to be "put to sleep with the first pain and woke up when the hairdresser gets there" anyway after the birth a nun came in and asked her "did you void?" mom said all she could think about was a vast open space and when she thought about it some more she got it and said yes

There has been many over the past years - but one that always stands out happened shortly after moving to SC from PA. An elderly patient on hemodialysis said "I'm going to give up" my thought was -she just wants to stop this and die- As I was trying to think of what to say- another nurse swoops around me with an emesis basin, just in the nick of time!

Working on a Progressive Care Unit, I had to

smile one day when I received a phone call

asking if this was the "regressive care unit"

Originally posted by teletracker:

Working on a Progressive Care Unit, I had to

smile one day when I received a phone call

asking if this was the "regressive care unit"

Just a question for my curiosity...I've never heard of it. What's a Progressive Care Unit?

Amanda :)

Just e-mail me... [email protected]

I'll always remember a patient who came to the fertility clinic to have her 'fert-ability' checked. It just made so much sense!

My mom still says, I have to get a mammyogram for mammogram. It cracks me up. Of course, I have inherited her quirks. I just found out the song, "My eyes adored you, etc.", and I have been singing, "My eyes of Georgia" for years. My friend thought "Dog eat dog world" was "Doggy dog world". Thank God for loving us non perfect people.

I work in a pediatric hospital and one night a little boy pressed his call light - we answered over the intercom and asked him "Can I help you?" He replied, "Can I please see your dessert menu?" Even kids get confused between a hospital and a hotel! :)

Two recent funnies. I was taking care of a 5 yr old. I work 7p-7a and after I took the midnight vitals he looked up to me and admonished me for being up so late and that I was going to get in trouble if I didn't get to bed soon. No amount of explaining convinced him otherwise.

The second story took place this last Christmas. I was taking care of a charming lol. She was very quite, bedridden, and never put on her call light. Early in the am her call light went off. I rushed in to see want she need (she spoke with a very thick Russian accent and you could not understand her over the speaker). Vhat time es it? she said with a twinkle in her eye. About 1:30 in the morning I replied. Vell, she said Kreesmas is over, bak to vork. I just had to laugh. :D

Working in L/D, I had a pt march up to the desk one morning, dressed as cute as could be, hair and makeup perfect, and announce, "its my due date. Here I am!" (needless to say, NO criteria for admission!)

Gotta love those poor girls in labor who can't wait to get their 'epidermals' to help ease the pain of their 'contraptions'...:p

Oh, yeah! When asked where their pain is, they'll tell you its in their 'eucharist'...

I just finished my second semester of clinicals. I was working with a little girl, im not sure of her age, but she was in preschool. I came in and told her mom and her that I needed to draw a little blood for a test. The little girl handed me a red crayon and said "I'll draw blood too", and proceeded to "draw blood" on a piece of white paper.

Specializes in NICU, Informatics.

This just happened to me tonite, I walk ino a room and introduce myself, Hi I'm Lt. ______, call me Jennifer, I'll be your nurse tonite..

Instead of saying hello, she said Thank you

I'm not sure what that's about

While working in LTC I had a little lady with dementia who used to think that practically everyone she saw was one of her family members. She was also quite hard of hearing. One day as she sat in the hallway a CNA wheeled an elderly gentleman past us and she asked me "Is that Henry?" (her long deceased husband). I said "No, that's Earl!" She gave me a very strange look and then when another staff member walked by she pointed at me and said to her "She says my husband's a girl!"

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