Doctors' Chart Bloopers

Nurses Humor

Published

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

Father died in his 90's of female trouble in his prostate and kidneys.

Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

Vomiting of unknown origin.

Admitted in error.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

Dr. Blank is watching his prostate.

If he squeezes the back of his neck for 4 or 5 years it comes and goes.

Specializes in ER/ICU/Flight.

today this one was written

"Referred to our service for evaluation of 3 day hx-n/v/d. patient seen at 10 am and stuffed with Dr. ____ at 1030."

another weird abbreviation. "bbs-gntb", when asked we were told "bilat breath sounds-good, not too bad"

Specializes in Cardiothoracic Nurse,Nurse Educator.
Well, that sort of thing can be very tiring. At least if done properly. :devil:

But dont tell me that one can be tired to the extend of being exhuasted.

Specializes in Med-Surg with tele.

Celexa every day prn.

this was a mistake i made when i was doing externship hrs @ a clinic for my Medical Assistant training...... the office was really busy that day with a staff consisting of Doctor , his wife(office manager!! yeah i know not fun enviornment), Medical assistant that worked there for 15+ YEARS.... and me!!giving them my very educational fee labor..... so plenty of people that day coming going both waiting rooms were to full capacity with patients in each of the 3 exam rooms and lab area the office manager always ordered me to do like 3 diff things at the same time!! so she was ordering me to make a chart for a new patient that had just walked in and at the same time she wanted me to give someone their appt... and couple of other things she was ordering me to to .... so i made the chart ... vitaled the patient put it in the chart holder to be seen ..... the doctor later on started yelling out asking where in the heck was this PT!!!! office manager screams well he left over an hour ago what is your problem!!! doc sez WHY IS HIS NAME ON THIS CHART!!! oopsies :) my bad i know ....

Specializes in Emergency.

Not charting, but still pretty funny.

A doctor was assessing a patient who had spilled hot coffee on her face and burned herself, he proceeded to ask, "was the coffee that spilled on you hot?" We ribbed him about that one for a few days!

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CRRT,.
Some additional quotes made by physicians in actual medical records:

 Discharge status: alive but without permission.

 The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

 The patient refused an autopsy.

 The patient has no past history of suicides.

 Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

 Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

 Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.

 She is numb from her toes down.

 Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

 Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

 Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.

 The patient was prepped and raped in the usual manner.

 Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation

Ok i know this is old..but OMG if i ever see these on a chart, there is NO WAY that i will be able to keep a straight face when i see the doctor. You would think that a doctor would be able to get these things right???

Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

Free H20 250 cc IV a q 4hrs

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

Hahahaha well this is definitely entertaining!!:chuckle

If one of these charts becomes an evidence for a legal case......... I COULD only imagine!

Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.

I've had 3 patients whose grandmothers died of prostate cancer.

In the ER, an expect note said a patient was in "dandy condition." I was dying to see if he was wearing a monocle, top hat, and cane.

Another doctor ordered an HGB (pregnancy test) on an 86-year-old woman.

Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
Another doctor ordered an HGB (pregnancy test) on an 86-year-old woman.

Hgb is "hemoglobin." HcG is pregnancy.

*~Jess~*

Specializes in Telemetry & Obs.

Not a "blooper" at all, but a true order (yep, my patient)

On a young male with a penile implant: "apply ice to balls prn"

This was during NS and my CI would ask me during the day if it was time :D

Specializes in Cardiac/Neuro.

This isn't a blooper but still funny. I was looking up something in the doctor's orders on a patient that had been in the hospital for about six months.

The hospitalist had ordered a consult for geriatric med and put the reason as:Is this patient ever getting out of here?

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