Pregnancy Loss and Unhappy New Grad

Megan1977, MSN, EdD, RN · Sep 6, 2018

Ddestiny-

You are so right when you said that health care is a small community- leaving the new grad program at this point and under the stated circumstances (very limited job opportunities for new grads) would be a career damaging move. If Needs Advice plans on living and working in her current community, she better put a smile on her face, exude positive energy and finish the new grad program.

Wisco50 · Sep 7, 2018

WOW! I must say I TOTALLY agree with Lil Nel, RN! This new young nurse was worried she wasn't going to get a job in her geographical area. We have no idea where she lives, why she thinks this or whether she can do anything about it for now - i.e. moving to a different location. She started on a med-surg floor, which wasn't what she really wanted, but she likely thought (my presumption) that she had better get a job, get started and hope for things to improve from there at SOME point in her relatively near future. We don't know if she was pregnant when she took the job. (At least I don't, sounds like she might have gotten pregnant very soon after starting the job?). We have NO idea if she has had any pregnancy losses before which would exacerbate the emotional distress. A pregnancy loss at 19 weeks is pretty far along and a rather unusual gestation for a loss. Very early losses are usually chalked up to lack of implantation, insufficient hormonal levels for maintenance of pregnancy, genetic defects. I was a L&D RN for 21 years and say 19 weeks is unusual. So we have no idea what was going on, if it was a sudden loss or if she was going through extra stress of "will I or won't I keep this pregnancy?" Have a bit of heart, some of you! Really! Couple that with frustrations of all the challenges a new job (of any kind) brings. My guess is she may also be (at least somewhat) clinically depressed from all the aforementioned. Yet you are telling her to buck up, how she is wrong about A,B,C, and D.Wow, just wow.

-My advice - take the allotted medical leave you have available because of your loss. Talk to a therapist about your jumble of feelings and get the help to sort all this stuff out. I, personally, will tell you to stay until you have a firm and viable plan. I have often told myself in certain life situations that "I can do this for X amount of time." That helps me see the light at the end of the tunnel!

-I was not only a new grad hired into OB, years down the line, I became the unit director and I hired new grads! Some hospitals may have policies about such hiring but not all do and not all directors feel the same. NONE of us were born being a "X type" of RN - be it Peds, ICU, OB, OR, etc. At some point we are ALL learners!

-Do I think a year of med-surg can be useful to being an OB nurse of any kind? Yes, I think it likely can help in ANY forward career move. It's a good solid background. Plus these days in OB and esp L&D, SO many things are more complicated, more technical, etc. it is NOT going to hurt to learn any of that and when you get the OB patient who is ill be it a kidney stone (with possible sepsis?!), a bad infection of any kind (resp., GI, cellulitis, etc), who needs surgery (GB or kidney stone) it will all help.

I say be gentle and kind to yourself, hopefully others will be gentle and kind to you, that you have good family and or friendship support. Things WILL get better, they really will. When nothing is going right (as it seems), it is so easy to let any little thing get to you. BTW, I have also had some serious clinical depression as a result of a physical situation I had little control over for awhile...it makes you feel as if everything is hopeless, as if you cannot punch your way out of a paper bag. Lean on those who help you in whatever capacity. Keep the faith that things will get better. Hugs.

allnurses Guide · Sep 10, 2018

There is so much pain and anguish in your post that my heart just goes out to you. I am sure you are just emotionally devastated and I can understand why. Not getting into OB probably felt like a loss at the time. On top of now losing your own baby, you likely feel like some weird twist in the universe is blocking you.

First and foremost, take time to heal. Sometimes helping other people heal can really help that along. Do your best to remember that your journey into med-surg was ultimately a step meant to get you closer to a position in women's health. I think it would be okay to already be looking for that position; I also think most people need a paycheck and have to do what must be done, whether it is most ideal or not. Keep hammering away at your goals. Sooner or later a door will open. Quitting right now is likely a huge mistake, but that doesn't mean you can't keep looking for a position that aligns with your dreams and aspirations.

Please accept my sincere sympathy on the loss of your baby. My heart hurts for you. He or she will always be with you.