Bipolar Nurse Hoping to Open Awareness of Mental Illness

Nurses Disabilities

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Hello everyone,

I am new to the site and have chosen to join simply because of a previous post about mental illness and incredibly insulting comments that followed. I am posting a thread about this in an attempt to create more awareness about mental illness.I am hoping this thread will be positive and productive, so I have chosen my words very carefully. I am hoping that if you choose to reply you will be respectful to me and others. I would like people to think about the stigma people endure.

I myself have been diagnosed with Bipolar I. As a 23 year old RN with a BSN, I have had to work hard to be successful. Getting a job working on a NeuroTrauma unit. I missed 2 weeks of my senior year of nursing school, finally getting the diagnosis of Bipolar I along with confirming a diagnosis of ADD, still graduating with my class. I didn't even think to take a break. I obtained my RN License in October of the same year.

To bring up the particular post I mentioned, I couldn't help but notice that not one person in that thread mentioned how having a disorder makes you more compassionate, more open to anyone having trouble, and simply more sensitive. On the Neuro Trauma unit I had a patient who had witnessed a murder after a terrible decision to accept illegal drugs into her suburban home. Simply put it was a drug deal gone wrong. Her friend was shot, she was stabbed, pretended to be dead and had to run a mile and a half for a neighbors help. She was put on Protected Medical History given a fake name all while having multiple stab wounds and a chest tube. She was terrified. Her boyfriend even refused to let her stay with him because he believed she would be a danger to his children. I could just sense the pain and shame this woman felt. As a young nurse I refused to label her as a drug addict, knowing other nurses had already assigned that label. It didn't change the fact I had a job to care for this woman to the best of my ability. At the end of her stay, she told me "You made me feel safe" giving me a huge hug with tears in her eyes. I have never been more thankful or happy to have chosen nursing as a profession. I also think that moment truly speaks for itself in terms of having a bipolar nurse. I cannot believe that people think people with mental illnesses have no business being in the medical field. That they are a danger to their patients. I have had patients ask for me even when I wasn't even assigned to them. Asking to talk to me simply because they felt comfortable and at ease because of my care, good humor and willingness to listen.

I am extremely proud to call myself a nurse and the comments made about nurses with bipolar disorder were incredibly hurtful and truly insensitive. I just want people to know that Bipolar people can successful, take Catherine Zeta-Jones for example and Demi Lovato, beautiful and well respected people with serious talented. There are too many people who do not fully understand mental illness or what it's like to have one. So many people asking can I have a career with this disorder. The answer is yes, of course taking personal abilities into account but it should never ever prevent someone from believing they can't do something because of a condition impossible to change.

I ask that you give this some thought and if anyone has ideas about how to create more awareness I would certainly be open to suggestions and help.

All the best,

Hanna RN BSN

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I'm surprised to hear that. A lot of LTCs will hire anybody with a license and a pulse, and you have much more to offer than that. They are usually willing to train, as the turnover is high in many facilities. And the need is growing: soon there will be a huge market for geriatric nurses as we Baby Boomers age. Don't dismiss LTC just yet; it could very well be your ticket back into nursing. :yes:

Hello everyone,

It has been quite sometime that I have been on here, my last post was right after I passed the entrance exam for nursing school.

I did not go.

A series of unfortunate events occurred after I passed the exam. I am going to be real with all of you. I never disclosed why I was discharged from the military back in 2001. I have Bipolar I disorder and that is why I was let go. Fast forward to 2013 summertime, I have always been in close contact with my VA treatment doctors. I told my doctor that the only problem I had with my medication was how it was hard to lose weight and easy to gain it. For the past 10 years I have been on Depakote and Abilify. Well, doc changed that cos of my complaints of my weight to Topamax which was a stimulant and resulted in me going off the deep end in a matter of weeks.

When my manic phase peaked I ended up assaulting a female police officer and resisted arrest by force. Ironically, I was military police in the Air Force back in the day...weird. So the big problem is, now I have a felony charge on my record. Currently I am in veterans court and as long as I follow orders/dont violate probation I will hopefully get it dropped to a misdemeanor. I am really worried though. Can I still go into nursing school with a misdemeanor charge? I dont want to go through the process of getting my CNA again,it expires next year, but I cant handle residents due to my charge so I have to let it expire and retake the course...grrr only to find out that I shouldn't waste my time if I cant get into nursing school.

I hate that I had to put my career on hold, but what happened, happened and there's nothing I can do about it. All I can do is pray for the best. I still want to be a LVN though, what happened to me was not a result of me NOT taking my meds, it was because my medication got switched for a selfish reason and my body didnt like the medicine. I feel so bad for what happened. I am trying not to let it bother me but it still does....

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

(((((captain serenity)))))

So sorry to hear of your misfortune. It does sound like you've got your stuff back together, but are left with this albatross around your neck. I would suggest you post this question in the Nursing Licensure With a Criminal History forum for best results, there are people around that forum who know more about this sort of thing than we do.

But the best piece of advice I can give you is to talk to your State Board of Nursing to find out exactly what you're up against. Any sort of physical violence toward another person, even a misdemeanor, is apt to make it difficult to obtain approval to get into a nursing program, let alone licensure. Not impossible, but difficult. I don't know what bearing your bipolar disorder and medication issues might have on the process.....these certainly are mitigating factors, but the fact remains that you have a criminal record and the law is going to hold you responsible, even if it's at a misdemeanor level.

In my honest opinion, I think you would do well to defer your dreams for a little while. You need to get stable and stay that way for a couple of years before you consider going to nursing school with all its severe stresses, and you need to be able to prove to your BON and the legal system that this incident was a one-off thing, and that you can be a safe practitioner.

Whatever you do, though, DON'T fix what isn't broken---if your meds are working, resist the temptation to switch them out for something else. I made that mistake a few years back when I asked my doctor to switch me from Paxil to Wellbutrin since the Paxil had stopped working. Let me tell you, that stuff sent me right over the edge and into a manic/psychotic episode the likes of which I've never had again, thank God. (This was just before I myself was diagnosed with bipolar.) I didn't do anything physical, but I did have some pretty ugly homicidal ideation. So I can certainly understand how things can go so wrong when we get on the wrong meds.

Wishing you the best. I'd wondered what happened to you. Thank you for updating us.

I am afraid to post one cos of my diagnosis. I am reallly embarrassed about it. I fear that they will make judgments about me and leave nasty comments.:bag:

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I am afraid to post one cos of my diagnosis. I am reallly embarrassed about it. I fear that they will make judgments about me and leave nasty comments.:bag:

Your illness is part of your life, but it doesn't define you. Neither do the mistakes you made. The forum I suggested is full of posts made by people who have done things they regret; I don't feel there's much if any judgment over there.

And please don't be afraid people will condemn you for your diagnosis.....I have been openly bipolar here for over 2 years and have not received a single bad comment about it. Not one. There are a number of nurses here who have helped raise awareness of mental illness, and they've paved the way for other nurses to learn about the real people behind the diagnoses. As a result, there are very few posts anymore that condemn or judge on that basis.

You needn't be ashamed of your illness. You didn't want it, didn't ask for it, and it's not your fault. Yes, you got carried away during a manic episode and did something you regret, but it's over and it won't ruin your life forever. One day you'll look back and realize that this was a learning experience and not the end of your dreams. Take care. :)

Hello everyone, update its been about 2 years since I've gotten arrested with the felony charge on resisting arrest by force while manic I've been stable for 2 years now my charge got dropped to a misdemeanor and now I am able to start the nursing program I have to pass the entrance exam first and then go through a background check. I know my issues are going to come up so I'm going to have to go before the Board of Nursing and tell them about my situation. Today I go to Kaplan College to the information session to find out about the curriculum, how much school costs and what not. I have the Veterans Affairs in my corner to help me pay for school, I just need to pass the entrance exam. I know I will pass the exam it's just a matter of the BON letting me in. Thanks.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Good to see you back again! I'm glad your life has taken a turn for the better. :yes:

Hi everyone. This Thursday is do or die. I take the KTP entrance exam for Kaplan College. I took it twice three years ago but did not make the cut. I also passed the entrance exam for Carrington College in 2013, but if you have read the threads, you will see that I never went. I am really nervous about this test, I have been tutoring in math since it is not my strongest subject. Anyway,I can only take the test twice in a 12-month cycle so I am praying that I make it. I am tired of using the VA and want to make my own money as well as something of myself to be proud of. Please send me good vibes, love and light!! Thanks for reading.....

Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.

I just wanted to add my support, and empathy to the Original Poster. I am a nurse and also have been dx with a Mental Health Illness.

/I feel like I'm coming out of the closet/

Love the support from AN though.

And I hope, that by all of us nurses and nurses to be disclosing our health challenges, we will help to create a more tolerant society of nurses.

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