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Nurses Recovery

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Hello everyone, I am a nurse in recovery.

I practice in ICU for almost 5 years. In June of 2010, I had a very tramatic experience. Ended up with a PTSD, depression, anxiety diagnosis and about 6-7 meds to go along with it. I had never had a mental illness disorder or substance abuse history in the past.

I went from taking my meds as prescribed, to taking them with alcohol. I attempted suicide twice and thought about it at least 100 times a day.

I had taken some time off of work, but once I returned, it wasn't long before I was diverting from work.

The drug and alcohol use got really out of hand. I had two mini interventions, neither one worked.

I was called at home and asked to come into work. I declined the invite and told them I resigned (obviously I knew what the meeting was about).

3 months later I was called by a state investigator (Michigan)

I came clean with him and self reported to HPRP.

I signed a contract with HPRP in December 2011. I have 3 years with them, but I am voluntary (non-regulatory).

I wanted to share this with anyone struggling. It is hard to wrap my head around the changes that have happened in my life, but I am started to see through the clouds. It is getting better and I am really (REALLY) happy I am alive today.

Specializes in LTC, Hospice, Case Management.
On this board we kind of help each other cope when we are not throwing insults at each other. You can come here any time.

Ain't that the truth! We can be such a mud slinging group until one of us actually falls in the mud puddle then everyone piles in to help the other out. It's much like the relationship of siblings.

Welcome OP and may you find some peace.

Specializes in PICU, NICU, L&D, Public Health, Hospice.

I will offer up some encouragement from an old nurse who is not a substance abuser and has never personally experienced your difficulty...but I have walked alongside of a couple of friends/colleagues who have. Please know that there is still a place for you in your chosen profession, after you get well. Know also that there are many of us who will not judge you but will try very hard to support you in your efforts to practice nursing while remaining "sober".

I wish you the best of luck. I pray that you find a friend or two in your professional life who can help you with your self care goals.

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