Nurses Eating Their Young

[Doc Lori, R.N.]

If you haven't read the article "Nurses Are So Mean", it is a great read.

Typically, when mammals eat their young, it is an instinct which satisfies dominance. There is a clear lack of emotional bond and attachment, so what creates their desire to dominate? The young are simply perceived as a threat, that's what. A threat to what, you ask? To the natural progression of things. To safety. To the way things 'should' be. Naturally, when referring to nurses who eat their young, they don't take a young-wet-behind-the-ears-new-graduate into the break room, season 'em up with condiments and literally ingest them. Or, shall I say, I hope not. Besides, this most probably requires the taking of a full lunch break, and who the heck has time for that.

Let's be rationale. For us human type mammals, it's safe to say that in this case, the word "eat" implies a sense of "control over", "I'll tell you a thing or two", and "who do you think you are bouncing in here all bright eyed and bushy tailed on my territory".

Guess what it really means?

In case this is your first experience reading my writing, I like to utilize the analogy of pretending we live in the stone age to get points such as these across with humor and candor.

Say you go to work your shift, and your manager indicates that perhaps they forgot to mention this to you, uh..but you are such a strong nurse that you are a new graduate's preceptor for the next 6 weeks. You are wearing a uni-shouldered Betty Rubble frock, and are armed with a club. You have a bone in your hair. You are introduced to Penelope Perky, R.N. Good grief, even her club is new and fancy. (Go figure, yours has been used a lot more). A Littman drapes around her delicate swan-like neck, worn much like the Queen's sash, having just been coronated. Her clogs, a pair of shiny white virgins never knowing the warm pleasures of vomit, MRSA, liquid stool and urine. Her new name tag doesn't even have one lousy drop of blood on it, yet. Penelope is eager, full of fresh ideas, channeling her inner Florence Nightingale, ready to change the world. HA! What does she know! Your eyes narrow into slits, your pupils are pinpoint. You raise your club in the middle of morning report, ready to pounce on the threat to all that is.

Hold it right there. Here is the time to evaluate. Because you are a cave-person, you only speak in grunts, only experience feelings viscerally. If you were to only have one word available to you to describe your reaction, what would it be? What color is it? 'Where' do you feel it?

Why is it that you feel the need to strike? You are evolved, intelligent and insightful. Go beyond the primal instinct to devour. What the heck is the problem here?

That evening when you are in Wilma's kitchen ready to make a pot of pterodactyl soup, boil this down also:

From my loving heart space to yours, I share this with you, clubs down. Fear is the basis of all outward emotion. Yes, Ms. Thang, Ms. I-can-catheterize-a-nun-in-the-dark, Ms. Go-to for all of your unit's tough blood draws, Ms. I am on first name basis with every physician who has practicing privileges within 500 miles. You are fearful. But, of what, and why?

Consider

1. Fear of change
2. Fear of actualizing skill sets which you need work on
3. Fear of being perceived as something less than or inferior to who you would like to be perceived as
4. Fear of a shift in the hierarchy of your unit
5. Fear of having to address issues about why you respond to things in the manner which you do
6. Fear of growth
7. Fear of other's acceptance of and the embracing of new staff
8. Fear of not being able to feel safe
9. Fear of the unexpected
10. Fear of aging

Be secure in who you are. Do self love and boundary work. Elevate your consciousness for the sake of embracing the goodness of all. Eliminate feelings of threat. Forgive past circumstances for causing you pain and heart ache. Love yourself enough to accomplish these things. You are worthy of the care which you provide to others. Be kind to new nurses. (They may have to give you an enema some day). Above all, always remember to Nurse Your Spirit!

[looking for work]

Every precepting experience I had was horrible. Hospitals are really the only places that do this, which is why I dont work in them anymore. In fact, I made it clear in an interview once that I refuse to be precepted. An experienced nurse should already know what to do, so short of training for one shift to learn where things are, there should be no precepting. Precepting is for new grads, but hospitals dont seem to care if you have zero experience or 20 years. After being in this field for 10 yrs, I have found that nurses are the most insecure , back biting and back stabbing people I have ever met. I dont care if I ever go back into this again...overall, a horrible experience

[TiniHealer BSN]

You know, it is really sad how some precepting experiences are so horrible that they will almost turn an individual off to the whole experience of the profession for which they are being precepted. For example, it was because of some of my preceptorship experiences that I have been turned off to that specific area of nursing. If you think about it, one's preceptorship experience can shape or break an individual. It's sort of like how it was in grade school where we would take everything our teachers said to us personally. (I still remember how my 3rd grade teacher told me that I asked too many questions and I should learn to become more independent. Since then, I have always been reluctant to ask questions even in situations where I desperately want to).

My personal advice: Try to stay focused on why you are studying to be a nurse and/or what originally brought you to the profession. Remember that preceptors who are nasty or even senior nurses who are crude to new grads are just human beings going through a rough patch that day or just have a personality that is not well equipped to teaching. Don't let it influence you. Take the criticism as all constructive and continue to strive to be the best and strong practitioner that you can be.

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[looking for work]

One of the things that I never understood was why these "precepting nurses" are allowed to continue down a path of emarassing, humiliating, and chastising new hires. In most of my experience, the nurses who were precepting have done this over and over and over and are able to keep their jobs without question. It was and is mind boggling that management overall is so poor as to allow this behavior in the first place. Such a shame that many nurses who took out steep loans and went through the grueling process of nursing school are being released into a venemous environment. It was after a few of these similar experiences that I gave up on hospital nursing altogether. I am convinced that hospitals hire nurses, when there are not actual positions for them to fill, train them for 3 months , anticipating that during those months someone will leave , and when that does not happen, the new hire gets brought into a managers office, made to feel like a total knucklehead without cause, and dismissed.

[fouraker]

I worked in industry for over 30 years where I started at the bottom and worked upward through various levels of management. I was riffed and now through with all my nursing classwork, clinical rotations, and am waiting on graduation at age 52. I experienced cut-throat politics in my prior occupation, but not to the extent of what I have seen in nursing. One thing I have yet to see in my limited experience is some sort of informal mentorship, a seasoned employee who takes a new employee and leads them through the minefields.

I have had very good clinical experiences, but I account much of it to age and experience. I have seen young, inexperienced students show vulnerability resulting in a shark frenzy of attack. I have yet to understand this "throw'em under the bus" mentality.

[mansanas2]

Hi, all. I have this opportunity to shadow a nurse, part of a diversity program. I already have a license (2007) but I am not practicing as a nurse. I do have a full time job as a billing manager at a hospital and now back to school pursing BSN online while working. As you could see, it's been awhile. Also, I'm shy and most of the time, it shows I am not confident. However, once I get comfortable, I do not have a problem. It just takes me time. But I am always open to learning from scratch and work my way up. I am always greatful to find a great mentor or whoever gives me time to give me the knowledge I need to do my job. Like everyone, having a mentor must be a right fit. I've only been on the hospital floor, 2nd week but my third night. I only do 7pm-12am since I work full time too and the program was okay with this and with the preceptor. My preceptor was highly recommended, young and very talented and smart. My first day, the nurse told me about the what to look for when you get your patient assignment. Comorbidities, lab values esp HCT, WBC and so forth, reason why patient was in the hospital, postop day, pain meds, xray/mri results if any, precautions, antbx, anticoagulant, now picture the person giving this info to you talks about 100 miles/hr. The nurse gave me the nursing notes from the previous shift to read and went to the patient room. He did the introduction, then assessment...I do not have access to any of their rooms or computer so I rely on him to tell me what I need to do. I am nervous and anxious. The bp machine, have many buttons, it is not the usual on/off...again, the nurse does the shift like 100 miles an hour. I am introduced to patients as a student nurse. The first day was okay, basically I was overwhelmed but not because of the work but the information I needed to take in. Once in awhile, he would mumble something, and then ask me question and of course I would not remember (first day, okay), or during downtime, the nurse won't tell me anything, I sit in a corner. I am not type to sit down so once in awhile there is one or two nurses, that I would talk too or I would find some sort of nursing literature to read, just to keep me preoccupied. The 2nd day, same patient which is good. The nurse assigned me to focus on the two patient which i thought was fine. Again, the bp machine was a challenge but the patient was kind enough to understand the complexity of it too. The nurse gave me the list of meds for the two pt and ask me to circle which ones to give next. So that was okay. I thought, I was doing okay on my 2nd night, However, I am not allowed to ask him question while in the patient room. The nurse felt that it is not appropriate. I was okay with that. The rest of the shift, I basically assessed my patient pretty much every hour (pain level, assisted to toilet). The rest of the shift, many times of nothing else to do but sit in the corner, tried to assist other nurses (with the preceptor's permission or sometimes the nurse tells me) or go with him when it is needed. The 3rd night (following week), same thing quickly gave me the run down, a new pt admitted on the floor. Again, I tried to focus on the patient impt info but because the info is given too fast, you asked questions but it seems that you are not allowed or given a blank look. One pt is a family member of a day time nurse, so attention was given. I did the best I can to assess my patient throughout the shift. One patient, he gave the antibx iv - the nurse showed me how it is primed, how to put it in this machine, and immediately said, you better watch it because you will be doing this on your own. Pt is also receiving PCA but nurse discontinued per ordered. Showed me the machine and what pt is getting, again foreign to me. Nurse asked me question after but again, do not much about the PCA, so of course, I was not able to answer, or it took me awhile by going back to the machine and press a button (though pressing the wrong button (stop/start) so nurse said, you do not press stop/start if you need info. Another patient admitted, with contact precaution. Yellow gown and gloves. I took gloves off first, then gown. Nurse immediately said, I did that wrong. I went back to the table and noticed, it says to take gloves off first, then gown. At the end of the shift, of course there are a few things, I forgot (checking the hemovac). At the end of the 3rd night, preceptor talked to me and said that I am doing very poorly. One, I should not asked questions in the room which I thought I did not since nurse mentioned this the 2nd night, then I was also told not to carry any paper and write down the vital signs I got from the machine, I should use memory or write it down once I am outside the patient's room. Okay, first time I was told about this. Nurse said that everyone is looking at me because I am not getting it meaning I am not focusing on the things I need to know. I forgot the hemovac, and maybe the I/O - though I was monitoring it but not at that time the nurse asked me. Also, it took me awhile to get BP, but the reason for that is that the BP does not appear right so I had to redo it. Was that wrong? Then nurse said that I am eager to learn but I am not channelling it to the right place. I was listening to a nurse who was roommate with the patient I was taking care. Additionally, I was also told that if he is writing something, I should not talk about the patient I just assessed, it is prone to error. I basically said, I am open to the criticism but at the same time, I said I tried to focus on what needs to be done, and yes once in awhile I will forget but it takes time. He has high expectation, which is fine. I want him to be proud of me of course but I think there should some sort of structure. Additionally, he warned me that seasoned nurses here will eat me alive if I do not know what I am doing. That's ashame, instead of saying, they will support you and tell you what you need to know and when the time is right, you should be able to give them what they are looking for. At the end of the shift, I still thanked him, I am greatful for his time but I think it is premature to tell me that I am not getting it when he is giving very limited information. I am allowed to make mistake to a point, I understand that I am responsible for my patient's life and this is why he is the preceptor and I am the learner. Instead of giving me the confidence, that I need to improve on things or maybe we need to approach it in a different way, I was shut down as not getting it. Is this right? Mind you, everyone is being asked if they want anything for dinner except me. Is that really the way to treat new nurses?

I love taking care of people. I like it when I put a smile on their faces. I understand that their illness could make them cranky and grumpy or angry but not because of you but it is what they are experiencing. Is anyone out there who could give me advise how to go back and continue to do this?

Thank you, all.

[NursesRmofun, ASN, RN]

Just as you are overwhelmed with the information and some criticism (whether justified or not), try to understand that your preceptor is probably overwhelmed also. In addition, your preceptor is somewhat responsible for what you do and do not do. Try to take his input in as positive a way as you can. Take notes, if you have to. If there is a serious problem or personality conflict, it happens. Ask for another preceptor.

[timetoshine]

Document your experience as you have described here and ask for another Preceptor. Based on what you have described here he is not qualified to be your Preceptor. Your responsibilities to your Patients are far too important, once you are on your own, not to get the best learning experience possible. Some people just don't have the patience or skill needed to teach. Teaching like Nursing takes a special kind of personality. The stress you are experiencing from this could be causing you to try too hard and keeping you from being the best you can be. Good Luck. I believe based on what you have told us, you have the right stuff, you just need someone who also has the right stuff to let it shine through

[timetoshine]

Ruby-the situations you describe re: being late, inappropriate attire, etc., seems to point to the Schools training these people and the Teachers who allow this inappropriate behavior. Why these conditions exist in the workplace is because it can. It would never be the case in my experience. It wouldn't even be thought of. Maybe we need to examine why it is happening not complain because it has happened. We need to Raise the Bar of our expectations! Don't you agree?

[PatsyGilewicz]

I have read many articles concerning the consumption of young/new nurses by more experienced, and I beg to differ with that term or saying.

I say"young /new nurse put your big girl panties on and lets roll" I always loved to have students and new nurses with me. I think for the most part they enjoyed working with me. However, make no mistake, I expect everyone to do the very best that they can and do it right.

I have worked in hospitals for nearly 40 years, as an aide, LPN, and finally as an RN. Fortunately, I had the nurses of WWII and Vietnam era to teach me in my early years. They were wonderful women,my Mama bears. (I gave them that name long before I knew of S. Palin). They expected me to work hard, not complain, and keep your sense of humor with me. They would not let anyone step out of bounds on their watch. If you were doing your job no problem, they would stand with you until death(no pun).

If you were slacking, whining, or unprepared on a regular basis, they would be the first to send you to the curb. Feelings were our own problem and it was up to us to deal with it/or not.

When you are working in the health care field, it is only as strong as its weakest link. You must always do your best. I never considered that I was being bullied. There was no reason to feel that way.

In other words, are new nurses really being bullied, or are they the ones that need to step up to the plate?

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I have read many articles concerning the consumption of young/new nurses by more experienced, and I beg to differ with that term or saying.

I say"young /new nurse put your big girl panties on and lets roll" I always loved to have students and new nurses with me. I think for the most part they enjoyed working with me. However, make no mistake, I expect everyone to do the very best that they can and do it right.

I have worked in hospitals for nearly 40 years, as an aide, LPN, and finally as an RN. Fortunately, I had the nurses of WWII and Vietnam era to teach me in my early years. They were wonderful women,my Mama bears. (I gave them that name long before I knew of S. Palin). They expected me to work hard, not complain, and keep your sense of humor with me. They would not let anyone step out of bounds on their watch. If you were doing your job no problem, they would stand with you until death(no pun).

If you were slacking, whining, or unprepared on a regular basis, they would be the first to send you to the curb. Feelings were our own problem and it was up to us to deal with it/or not.

When you are working in the health care field, it is only as strong as its weakest link. You must always do your best. I never considered that I was being bullied. There was no reason to feel that way.

In other words, are new nurses really being bullied, or are they the ones that need to step up to the plate?

I suspect they're the ones who need to step up to the plate, but I predict you (and I for agreeing with you) will get flamed for this!

[ElizabethStoneRN]

I love this article and the subsequent discussion of the roles of both fear and love in displays of emotion. very insightful! I shared it with my clinical students. nice "behind the scenes" perspective that makes this issue more understandable. great work!

[zeeblebrox, BSN]

I think that there has been a slight change to the way the eating of nurses has been happening. While there have been older nurses that eat their young their are younger nurses who think they are gonna cull the herd and go after the older (seen as weaker) herd mates. I have always loved teaching the younger nurses and have always been told that they enjoyed being taught by me and that they learned a lot. I've dealt with a few of this next generation of nurses recently who have tried to cull me from the herd pretty much from the minute that I spoke to them.