nurses with Bipolar Disorder

Nurses Disabilities

Published

Hey. How do you guys handle the stresses of nursing? I've learned stress is a trigger for me. A little stress is ok but when things happen back to back I get a little overwhelmed. Just want to hear from other bipolar nurses.

Hugs to you Viva! I always enjoy and appreciate your insight and candor.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Hugs to you Viva! I always enjoy and appreciate your insight and candor.

Same here. I don't know what I would do without you since I've been diagnosed. I really lean on you a lot for everything.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I'm glad I can help. Helping others battle this illness helps me, too. I remember all too well how I felt when I was first diagnosed four years ago, like I was lost and alone in the world. It also felt like someone had plastered a big sign with my diagnosis on it right across my forehead and I had to walk around like that. I thought people could literally look through me and see the beast within.

Looking back, I think that's why I "came out" relatively soon after being diagnosed. I didn't have enough energy to live a double life trying to have a "normal" one, though God knows I tried. I still regret coming out at work, although I could hardly hide it when I was bouncing-off-the-walls manic. Some folks can be good nurses even with mental illness; but when mine burst forth like a wild animal in the winter of 2011-12, my days as a nurse were numbered, though I didn't know it at the time.

I wonder sometimes if I would have flamed out like I did, had I not been bipolar. When I hung up my stethoscope at age 55, I was toast, even as well-medicated as I was (and continue to be). I'd planned to work at least till 66, and possibly 70, but it became impossible. Now I've been on Social Security disability for almost a year, and I know I made the right decision because even thinking about going back into nursing makes me break into a cold sweat.

But I'll always be a nurse at heart, and that's why I'm still here at AN. I learn something new every day, and to see more awareness of mental illness as well as less judgment of its sufferers is a great thing.

I'm glad I can help. Helping others battle this illness helps me, too. I remember all too well how I felt when I was first diagnosed four years ago, like I was lost and alone in the world. It also felt like someone had plastered a big sign with my diagnosis on it right across my forehead and I had to walk around like that. I thought people could literally look through me and see the beast within.

Looking back, I think that's why I "came out" relatively soon after being diagnosed. I didn't have enough energy to live a double life trying to have a "normal" one, though God knows I tried. I still regret coming out at work, although I could hardly hide it when I was bouncing-off-the-walls manic. Some folks can be good nurses even with mental illness; but when mine burst forth like a wild animal in the winter of 2011-12, my days as a nurse were numbered, though I didn't know it at the time.

I wonder sometimes if I would have flamed out like I did, had I not been bipolar. When I hung up my stethoscope at age 55, I was toast, even as well-medicated as I was (and continue to be). I'd planned to work at least till 66, and possibly 70, but it became impossible. Now I've been on Social Security disability for almost a year, and I know I made the right decision because even thinking about going back into nursing makes me break into a cold sweat.

But I'll always be a nurse at heart, and that's why I'm still here at AN. I learn something new every day, and to see more awareness of mental illness as well as less judgment of its sufferers is a great thing.

Viva, I have been reading your posts and you really are such an inspiration. Thank you. I went to the Doctor today finally and she said that I have severe anxiety/social phobia with depression and binge eating disorder!. She has prescribed Prozac 20mg od and a course of 8 sessions of cognitive behavioural therapy.

In the past I tried CBT for one session and never stayed on SSRI's for longer than two months. I guess I never really gave anything a chance!!. I have a long history of job hopping but graduated from Nursing school in December 2015. you may be aware from my other posts that I have received a total of 4 job offers. I left dialysis after 3 days and the other jobs, I declined. My family is now in a state of severe financial problems and here is me with my fear of nursing responsibilities turning down all perfectly good jobs!!!

I was extremely anxious as a child and would always turn red if a teacher talked to me in class and this has continued to this day. I would avoid any debates/presentations etc to avoid being embarrassed in public. I have lost many opportunities in life due to fear of people and situations and stress. I was in the USA for two years at 20years old with a friend and had no visa or job at that time so I worked drifting around as a house cleaner and then as an 'escort' for a few months. I was very promiscuous which I am now very embarrassed to admit and put myself in very dangerous situations to get my 'fix'. Who knew that I would go from 'escort to nurse' lol.

I got pregnant from an impulsive fling in the US and came home and had my Daughter. I then met my Husband and suffered post partum depression after each of my four kids and many issues with binge eating and impulsivity.

However, my Doctor said that it is not bi polar but an anxiety disorder. I don't know as Ive spent my life burning bridges with people and quitting every job from boredom/stress.

Sorry for the big long story but it feels so so good to talk where I am not know by anyone. I am so thankful and happy to have found AN and people like you Viva.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.:yes:

Just out of curiosity, were you diagnosed by a psychiatrist or a regular doctor? It takes specialized training to be able to properly diagnose mental disorders and most family medicine/internists don't have that. If I were you, I'd get a second opinion...sometimes the symptoms of anxiety disorders and bipolar disorder overlap. (I have a lot of anxiety too, but my psychiatrist says it's a part of my BP.)

It was a regular doctor and she seemed reluctant to refer me elsewhere. I think the first line of treatment here is SSRI's and CBT.

Looking back, I remember once becoming so depressed and anxious in pregnancy that I self harmed. I have a long history of mental health problems so I really hope that it is just anxiety!

+ Add a Comment