Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 11

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   flychick08
    So True!!!!
  2. by   athflvr
    Quote from Hydakins
    Last night I had a nice elderly woman pt in bed one ask me to turn on the bright light because it was difficult to read her newspaper with the dimmer light. I turned it on and helped her to the BR. While waiting for her to finish, the 20 something female pt in bed 2 calls me and asks if I can turn off the light "over there". At the same time, her boyfriend is climbing into the bed (a tad smaller than a twin size) with her (with his coat and shoes on-talk about dirty)! I wanted to tell him them that this is not the Waldorf-Astoria or the Ramada. They ordered pizzas and were watching tv and doing who knows what else. SHES SICK STUPID!!! Take your dirty ass off of the bed, go buy some flowers or a get well gift like a real man, let her eat the salad that was ordered for her, and say good night since visiting hrs ended 2 hrs ago. Your visit is pointless!
    That's too funny! Why do people think that stuff is ok in the hospital. I work in a Catholic hospital - I'd love to tell them "You know I'm not catholic but this is a catholic hospital and I'm pretty sure that "Big Jesus" downstairs in the lobby is frowning on that - you're probably going to hell for sure for that one you idiot.
  3. by   AuntieNursey
    Quote from gentle
    Grandma is in isolation for her head lice. Please, stop going in and out without the proper protective equipment. No, I do not wish to have a hug.
    lol. No hugs for anyone untill all are pest free !!!!
  4. by   santhony44
    Quote from gentle
    Please do not insult the other patient at the nursing station. Her "baby" looks like a professional football player and he will punch you. No, I will not try to protect you. You should have never called his mother a cow. I don't know that the security guard will want to help you either: he is smaller than you. He also has enough sense not to call anyone's mama a cow.
    For whatever reason, that one is LOL funny to me today.

    I'd probably have had a hard time keeping from applauding the lady's son. :roll:roll
  5. by   gingersdad
    I work LTC & Assisted and the saddest, most heartbreaking thing for me is to watch a family member, visits 1-2x/yr, be the most discontent of the care the res is getting. I worked in construction for years and at that time I want to revert say, "go back to the toilet where you came from. Burns my grits!!:angryfire
  6. by   Ms Kylee
    Quote from gingersdad
    I work LTC & Assisted and the saddest, most heartbreaking thing for me is to watch a family member, visits 1-2x/yr, be the most discontent of the care the res is getting. I worked in construction for years and at that time I want to revert say, "go back to the toilet where you came from. Burns my grits!!:angryfire
    This is why I could never do LTC. My heart would be broken on a daily basis.
  7. by   PMHNP10
    I once told a very cute, although raging Axis II, 16 y/o cocaine abusing female (with her mother present) who was regularly using enough to show ECG changes, that instead of destroying her ex-bf's property (she threw a brick through his car window and several other things) to go for a walk or read a magazine or beat up one of her stuffed animals to release the frustration. She told me she couldn't help herself, but surprisingly didn't flip her wig until I told her I wasn't going to admit her. Truly a tragic situation.
  8. by   AuntieNursey
    Quote from Kylee45
    This is why I could never do LTC. My heart would be broken on a daily basis.
    Why? You provide professional, caring, empathic nursing care in any environment. You assist them with as much of the medical care and emotional support as you can. LTC folks are so much more than their diagnosis and condition(s) and if you can make an impact in their lives, no matter how small or (seemingly) insignificant it does make a difference in their quality of life. Yes, I agree folks who only visit 1 or 2 x's a year can make life difficult, both in loudly c/o issues they know nothing about (due to their lack in involvement at other times of the year) and in upsetting some of the residents when they suddenly appear and then disappear again. It's kind of a "walk a mile in my shoes" deal as well, guilt can be a killer and I can only imagine that these folks feel guilty about putting a parent in a home and can't face them. Lots of reasons/excuses/procratinations but it all boils down to helping when and where you can and not being any more judgemental than your karma can handle.
  9. by   rph3664
    Quote from oldnewnurse46
    No, you spoke the truth. I'm sick of this PC world. There is a certain segment of the human race that takes no responsibility for their own health. I will work my tail off for my patients, and always have, but there is something wrong when I'm working so much harder for a person than they are working for themselves. People need to partner in their own health care.
    IMHO, my original post was like that Geico commercial: "How could it be offensive if it's true?" but some people didn't see it that way and it was edited.

    I've said the exact same thing on other non-medical boards and had the post deleted and warned that if I did anything like that again, I would be banned.

  10. by   akai6
    I work in a dialysis clinic and whoever was the DON prior to the last 2 started serving coffee to them. Yes coffee to patients that are on fluid restrictions...

    I have been told, "I HAVE TO to drink coffee when I eat my toast and take my pain pill" I just wanted to say you know when you take your pain pill your BP goes down and we have to run you longer or bring you in for another treatment bc you have too much fluid, just so you can have coffee.

    "Take me off so I can go get my own coffee from the gas station"
    When I started to take them off, they said what are you doing? I told them Im going to have you sign this AMA so you can go get your coffee and you can have treatment on your next scheduled day so you can go get your coffee.

    the best. "You BETTER go get my coffee, or Im going to report you"
    I just wanted to give her the number for the state, who would further explain they arent supposed to even have anything much less coffee.
  11. by   mollyjada
    Well..... Where to begin....

    1. Please do not, I repeat, DO NOT yell my name out as I walk past your door. As I have told you, I have 29 other patients awaiting their meds/care as well as you. You will have my undivided attention when it is your turn. Again, Do not yell out my name when I walk by. And do not yell out the name of your aide when she walks by. It is rude and disrespectful. That is what the call light is for.

    2. What???...I'm scratching my head and wondering why is it that you need someone to wipe up your face. You didn't have any problems reaching it when you were stuffing it a few minutes ago. No, your CNA does not get paid to wipe it because you don't feel like it. Get some self respect and I'll have her go fetch some wet washcloths. You should be thanking the Good Lord that you are even capable of doing it yourself.

    3. I know you just didn't call me in here to hand you your soda.....

    4. Yes, I am aware of what time you had your last "pain pill". Please do not push the call light to remind me. I have always brought it to you on time for that very reason. No, that's just a post nasal drip, you do not need cough syrup for that, your chest sounds clear. What? no, peptol bismol is for n/v. Please stop making yourself throw up. Just because you called your daughter and told her you almost died will not force me to give you what you want. I am checking on an order for benedryl. That is ALL you need and ALL you'll get.

    5. Maam, please read my name badge... I am your nurse and I will assist you in any way neccessary when it come to your care. But I do not hook up the cable or phone lines. I will not call maintainance, the cable guy, the phone company, an electrician, or the pizza guy. I will not call and ***** out your friends or family members. I am not a plumber either so please do not ask me to unclog the toilet.

    To the sickening family members regarding a dear woman on her deathbed........

    :angryfire Excuse me.....And you are? I've been here for almost 8 months and I've never seen you before in my life. You want what for your cousin/sister/aunt. Hmmm, I didn't realize she had any family, much less the 20 of you all live just 10 minutes away. She has a terminal illness. We are doing all we can for her. She is not in any pain. She's resting comfortably. You want us to send her to the ER. Why?...Oh I understand. There's money invloved. You feel guilty. You want to play hero and look good. It makes you feel better by trying to make us look incompetent. Well don't bother. WE are her family. WE have been the ones spending time with her for the past year. By the way, some of my residents overheard you all talking about a trust fund and how much she was worth. There's a saying that hearing is the last thing to go,.... wonder what your poor family member was thinking.
  12. by   CPI61
    Patient: "I need to be changed"

    Me: "True change comes from within"
  13. by   bagladyrn
    This one I did get to say to the patient (unfortunately it was after the fact): You see that string and button there on the shower wall? That's the emergency call button. If you manage to trigger it while you and boyfriend are doing the wild thing in the shower you WILL get to meet all of the nurses on duty as they come running to see what the emergency is. By the way, this would be a good time to hand boyfriend a towel....