Nurse with anxiety/depression

nursepenelope · Dec 6, 2013

PS...its nice to have some place to vent and vocalize how I am feeling without feeling judged. Thank you everyone for your comments and advice.

jaad · Dec 8, 2013

Hi, I have been a nurse since 2008. I wanted to be an L&D nurse, but hospitals stopped hiring right before I graduated. Since then, I have worked in LTC, SNF, Wound Care and now Home Health. I have had anxiety since nursing school, and have been going through a lot of personal issues. I am now so depressed and anxious that I have taken a LOA. I am depressed that I didn't get the job I wanted, although I love nursing and helping people, I don't really like my job. I feel almost paralyzed by the way I feel, heart palpitations, and I cry every day. I feel so let down in so many ways, not just job. I feel like I have had a nervous breakdown. will this affect my chances of ever getting the job I really want? I started taking an antidepressant and anti anxiety (which only last a couple hours). Any advice from anyone? I live in Cali which I know is not the best place to get a nursing job. My husband and I have thought about moving out of state, but I am so mentally out of it right now, there is no way I can muster up the ability to move. I really need help, advice. Has anyone else gone through this and how did you get past it...if you Have?

When my kids were little, I went through PPD and then horrible anxiety and panic attacks set in. I was a mess. I had to take a leave of absence. I was a registration clerk at the time before I started nursing.

I think you can do it but you may not be quite ready until you feel stable first. I remember having to walk away from my desk while a patient was sitting in front of me and went to bawl...so I wouldn't have been in a safe place to nurse.

But you can get out of it. You have to do everything you can to pull yourself out. I had to only allow positive things/thoughts flood my mind. Instead of saying "I wonder...I would say..."I will".

Please feel free to PM me. My heart goes out to you and I can completely relate to those awful fear/feelings/anxiety!

God bless you!

MauraRN · Dec 11, 2013

Are there any Home Health nurses NOT on SSRI'a??

In a word, NO

MauraRN · Dec 11, 2013

I have been on 20 mg prozac for a month. And buspar for a cpl weeks. I am still crying every day am anxious and having a very difficult time getting up to do anything. The thought of going back to my job on 1/7 nakes my anxiety even worse but I need the insurance. My house is a disaster which also makes me crazy...but I don't have any energy and its hard for me to eat. I'm so tired of this. I also have pain issues and on meds for that. I am really struggling with taking more meds. I hate this...I really want to feel normal again...and I wish I had a job I love. all of this sucks so bad. ..[/quote']
Not thrilled with ur med regimen, sounds like a PCP just winging it. If u can find a psychiatrist do it. You may do very well on something like Zoloft or Lexapro or Cymbalta with a dusting of lorazepam as needed.

wirehead · Dec 11, 2013

nursepenelope,

I totally understand where you're coming from as many here have stated, and truly commend you for having the courage to seek out the help of your peers on this board!! I started my nursing career as an LPN and absolutely loved home care, I got to focus on caring for the patient without all the BS I encountered in the same role as an RN. When I first learned what was expected of me in my new role as an RN, I was overwhelmed, so much so that my supervisor said I needed to take valium! I was like wait a second, screw this, I regrouped, and sought out a different position in nursing. The beauty of our profession is there are soooo many fields we could work in, and you'll just have to take your time to find the one that works for you. The other issue is medication always works best with CBT, and a good therapist will be invaluable in getting you through this. PCP's aren't often the best in handling depression/anxiety when it gets to this level, a good psychiatrist would be more effective. There a so many new choices in antidepressants that cover GAD as well, and often this too will take a trial and error to find the most effective one. The downside to these drugs are they often take 4-6 weeks to start working, and it may take awhile to fnd the right one, VERY frustrating. Hang in there, search our local support groups, you are so not alone and while you may not see it now, this too shall pass...

nursepenelope · Dec 11, 2013

Thank you wirehead and whoever wants to comment, I had to take a loa until jan and the thought of going back to wrk makese sick and want to vomit. I have to wrk for insurance and need the money. I am also exhausted and the meds don't help. Any suggestions for anti-anxiety that doesn't make you so tired? And will it hurt me to take another month off? I'm also thinking of transfering to another office.

SleeepyRN · Dec 12, 2013

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Has enough time gone by to give your antidepressant a chance to kick in? I used to take just one antidepressant and for a few years, that helped with the depression (not the anxiety which I majorly suffer from.) But for the last 10 months or so, I was pretty much crippled with depression and anxiety about work. I stayed in bed all day every day. I didnt work. Then I had a complete nervous breakdown and was sent to a mental health hospital for a week this past October.. When I got out, my psychiatrist added another antidepressant to my meds (and doubling that dosage during my luteal phase because I was finally diagnosed with PMDD). Ive been on the second antidepressant along with my original for a month now, and I am a whole new person. With my new med regimen, I feel like someone who doesn't even have depression. I take anxiety meds too. Ive quit many jobs with no notice due to panic attacks right before work (before I was a nurse, and once after I became a nurse.) To be clear, I'm not offering any medical advice. BUT, if you've been on your antidepressant for a while now, I really think you should go back to your doctor. With depression, it can be a trial and error thing with meds. I'm telling you my story just to relate and give you an example of beating depression. Once my second med kicked in, I applied for jobs like crazy because I had the motivation back. I was interviewed and hired yesterday :-) Since I do have major anxiety over work, we'll see how that goes once I start next week. Its SNF and im a newbie and sloooow at med pass. BUT the thought of working LTC a few months ago was out of the question. But now with my new med, I'm more excited about getting back to work again. Please see your doctor if your med should be kicking in by now. And as mentioned, therapy can help too. Especially with coping skills. Good luck. I hope the very best for you. Hugs

SleeepyRN · Dec 12, 2013

Oh yeah, and as mentioned CBT is great! You can even try it alone with a book either in addition to seeing a therapist, or in lieu of if you can't afford therapy right now (I can't; my insurance doesn't kick in for 3 months with my new job). I purchased an anxiety workbook that includes CBT techniques. Maybe look into that even just as a start, along with going back to your doctor (preferably a psychiatrist.) Hang in there. I'm glad you're reaching out for help. I didn't reach out, and someone else called 911 for me and I was forced to go to the hospital and then mental hospital. I wasn't suicidal, but I understood they had to be sure. I don't wish that on anyone. Having depression and ending up in a psych unit with people with delusions, halucinations.... it wasnt the right place for me. I was like "wait. IM a nurse. I should be caring for YOU guys, not sleeping in the same room as you." (Even though it actually saved me because it led to me getting a better medication regimen.) It humbled me too, because my heart went out to the patients. Sorry so long. Again best wishes and hugs.

nursepenelope · Dec 12, 2013

I have buspar.tid..not working very well...and xanax and valium.both of those last maybe an hour. I a m trying to find a psychologist. I also have chronic bsck pain so I taking oxycodone every once in a while...at first for the anxiety but that's not even helping. Don't worry ppl...I'm not a drug seeker and none of my meds make me feel high...just tired.

nursepenelope · Dec 13, 2013

Man...that's exactly what I don't want to happen to me; although sometimes I feel like that's where I'm going to end up. At least u got the help u needed. Thx for all ur help..

SleeepyRN · Dec 13, 2013

I have buspar.tid..not working very well...and xanax and valium.both of those last maybe an hour. I a m trying to find a psychologist. I also have chronic bsck pain so I taking oxycodone every once in a while...at first for the anxiety but that's not even helping. Don't worry ppl...I'm not a drug seeker and none of my meds make me feel high...just tired.

I too take xanax. 1 mg 3x/day. It used to be 4x/day but I asked my doctor to lower it. Now im going back to him and asking to raise it back again since im starting this job. My 2 antidepressants are celexa and now prozac. I too have chronic pain and my urogynocologist (I have terrible interstitial cystitis, endometriosis and PCOS which hurts like heck when a cyst bursts) just referred me today to a pain clinic so I will probably (and hopefully) have a narcotic prn as well. So there's definitely no judgement here. I'm so sorry. Knowing what its like, I definitely empathize. And with people like us....I hate having to tell people I'm not a drug seeker, because especially as a nurse I know that's where people's minds go. I remember in my last semester of nursing school, a girl saying "I don't think people should take antidepressants; they just need to realize crap happens and deal with it instead if numbing themselves." This was a girl about to be a nurse, so it concerned me that she was so unbelievably ignorant on the matter. I'm not numb. I still go through situational depression (a death of a loved one, a major disappointment in life...) It just doesn't cripple me like it would without the meds. I feel I handle challenges in life (while Im on my meds) like those who don't suffer from depression. Such ignorance. I hate that there's still a stigma to depression and the medications.

nursepenelope · Dec 13, 2013

Tell me about it...I always yhink ppl are gonna think I'm a drug addict. I rarely tell ppl and no one at wrk knows. I have a feeling they are going to figure that some psych is wrong with me now tho bc ive had to take time off and ppl talk..including managers.. I'm thinking of transferring to a diff office if I can. Just not sure when I shld bring the subject up. I have to go thru my manager first to find out if there is an opening and then go from there. I'm supposed to return to wrk on 1/13. When wld u ask ur manager?