Now that they approved my reinstatement don't know if I want it

Nurses Retired

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Hi I am Kat. Back in 2009 I voluntarily surrendered my license after going to rehab, and being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ADHD in 2006. I also had a legal issue involving substance abuse.

11 years later, clean and sober the whole time and having the mental issues under control I applied for a hearing to get my license reinstated here in CA. After being on the waiting list for almost a year they finally put me on the schedule. The hearing was very intense however, I was able to convince the panel (12) that I was capable to return to nursing.. However with the decision and order were many conditions including retaking the boards, taking a nurse refresher coorifice and then being under "probation" for 35 months. At 52 and after being on SSDI for the last 12 years I don't have the money for one, and for two I don't know if I want to be tied down to the boards "conditions" for at least 3 years. I was more thinking of working part time doing telephone nursing or something non stressful. But to get my license I have to work in the hospital for 3 years, been there, done that...Anybody else have this issue or any advise please?

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

It sounds like you're making peace with things as they are, and that's a good thing. It's never an easy thing to admit when we can't do something because there are limits to what we *can* do, but acknowledging that is the beginning of a new direction in life, and that's exciting! I wish you the very best in your future and hope you'll still hang out with us here at AN. Once a nurse, always a nurse, right?

How do you go about applying for SSDI for bipolarism and psychosis? A doctor needs to sign off on that? I was hospitalized and diagnosed with that a few years ago and I've had symptoms since my late 20s (family hx as well). I cannot hold down a job in healthcare (since 1993) without getting into trouble of some sort or being terminated because of my illness that I'm finally accepting I have. I was just fired from a major HMO in the Bay Area for well...being "bipolar" last year and guess what department? Yup...a psychiatry department where I was a patient lol and the nurse practitioner who oversaw my care was my coworker too. Love the irony. I'm trying to get my job back, but according to the union, its been months and I should have appealed their decision. Well, I'm bipolar, people like us don't make good sound decisions at times and our memory is foggy. They dx me with that mental illness(disability) back in 2014 and fired me anyway even though I was explaining to them(HR/managers) I was symptomatic of bipolarism that whole week prior to the incident that got me fired. And you're gonna love this. I was fired twice for the same thing by this HMO. The first time(early 2000s), my bipolarism really kicked in and I didn't know and they didn't see I needed psychiatric help. I got rehired 5 years later and was fired again 10 years later. Yeah.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

I had a lot of trouble maintaining employment as well, and I lost two different jobs due to bipolar, although that's not what my bosses told me at the time. In November of 2014 I filed for SSDI right after I got out of the hospital for suicidal ideation/intent. Then I hired an attorney who specialized in disability law, who did the legwork of getting all the documentation from my doctors and advocated for me with SSA. It was well worth the 25% that was automatically paid to the lawyer out of my settlement (back pay). I was approved in six months.

I did have a lot of paperwork that I personally had to fill out, as well as someone who was close to me. (I chose my husband.) It was really hard to portray myself as a severely mentally ill person; I wanted to show that I wasn't as bad off as I actually was. But my attorney told me to do the opposite and make myself seem as pathetic as possible, which wasn't hard because I was pathetic at that time. It wasn't a lie. I'm considerably better now, but I know if I were to try to work again that I'd decompensate quickly because I cannot deal with much stress. I do OK when things are running smoothly, but when the fecal material collides with the oscillatory ventilating system, I'm a hot mess. I also have bad cognitive issues which render me unsuitable for work of any kind because I can't learn and retain new information longer than a bird can stay on one tree branch. My short-term memory is crap, and I fumble for words at times. I was fearful that I was developing dementia, but two psychiatrists have told me that it's a combination of repeated BP episodes and the medications I take to manage them.

Anyway, I wish you the best as you explore your options. Life on SSDI isn't very easy because it doesn't pay more than a fraction of your earnings as a nurse. I live with my son and his family as I can't afford to live on my own, but that's a good thing because sometimes I need a caregiver.

Good luck! Viva

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