Newer RN being treated poorly by Coworker(s)

[TaylorBean]

The title isn't anything new to ones eyes and I am posting to let other newer RN's know they are not alone and to also share my story so maybe it can help with decisions you are about to make

I have been working in the ICU for a bit over a year now as a new grad in a community hospital. Orientation was great, I had 2 amazing preceptors and thought I was on the road to success. Yes, I noticed some nurses who had strong personalities, some who were more than likely grumpy every shift, some who treated the aides poorly, but never thought that I would be treated poorly. My issue on my unit has been RN's who snap/yell at you in front of others.

I am a very kind person, I do not like confrontation, I want to be liked, and it's hard for me not to take things personally. I am a sensitive person, and I truly love nursing and enjoy passing my calm and caring nature on to my patients. I want to do the best I can for my patients.

So the story is- in front of others I have been snapped/yelled at twice by one employee, once by another and the occasional eye roll, passive aggressive comment etc. Recently I was just getting so upset about it and decided to go to my assistant manager where I began to cry and say I just don't understand why I am being treated like this? I help others, I am a team player and I try my best to be the best nurse I can. He said it's not you, so please don't think that. He told me to go to our director. - probably the biggest mistake I could of done. And here's why... the minute I mentioned I was being treated with disrespect, my director had become defensive, stated that she was unaware of these behaviors on the unit- which unfortunately is a lie, because other employees have also mentioned this issue and one aide had to switch shifts due to this issue. She actually called in the assistant manager, and he was asked if there were any negative behaviors he has seen on the unit. He said "no". He lied, because there have been multiple behavior issues on the unit. At that point in the meeting I felt like I was thrown under the bus by my assistant manager and stated that this was a mistake coming to meet with you. It was obvious she didn't believe me or wanted to do anything about it. She said "what do you want me to do about it" and "this isn't the perfect ICU job you had in mind when you first started now isn't it" ... Yes she did say that. Crazy I know. So, I decided that I unfortunately need to look for another job. I do not want to get involved with the union, it is just easier to go somewhere else. I have learned my lesson. I will never again go to a manager with any employee issue at all. This experience has made me get thicker skin and will help me in the future. If I have an issue with an employee I will be direct with them and not be afraid to tell them they can't treat me like that. I will try my best to not let things like this get to me and just focus on why I am here. I'm here for the patient. The reason I am looking for another position is not the employee's who have been mean to me but the way the situation was handled. I hope this helps anyone out there is the same position. ❤️❤️

[Aliecakes]

OP, I get it. I've always been the socially awkward, shy, mousy girl who avoids confrontation. My dad was an angry drunk growing up and the screaming and thrashing me around was the norm. He was an emotional bully too. It made me overly sensitive. The type of sensitive that makes me want to curl up into a ball in a corner and whimper if I hear someone raise their voice.

I too want acceptance by others. I feel I am a kind individual who is very giving of myself- but I don't have thick skin. I notice every smirk, backhanded comment, and eye roll. You know when you walk into a room and they were just talking about you? You know...that awkward silence? Yup, dagger to my heart.

In my last job last there was a girl that said a cheery "good morning!" To every single person in the office- except me. She would bring pastries or whatever- to everyone except me. She never looked at me, acknowledged me, always sighed, rolled her eyes, and added a rude "What?" when I would ask her anything. One day, I asked her "do you have a problem with me? It just seems like you are always upset with me. Is there something I'm doing to upset you?" Her answer? "Frankly, I am a very private person and if I'm having a bad day it isn't any of your business. We aren't friends". I felt that sharp, shiny dagger slicing right through my big heart, which is always kept on my right shoulder. That was the day I decided I'd never show anyone just how sensitive I am. I'm sure you want to know how it ended- she was fired a few weeks later. Not for that, but because she always came in hungover, late, and spent the day texting under the desk. (Karma's got my back yo)

The scariest part of my story is that I left my coding job and am now a nursing student. That's right, I'm the shy, bubbly, cheery, eager student that just wants to please, heal, learn, and help. I'm not sure what will happen when some of the seasoned nurses/ future coworkers decide to take bites out of my big heart because I'm nervous, new, shy, slow, and still learning. I'm sure I will go home and eat my feelings with a bucket of ice cream in one hand and my cat in the other. I will cry into my hubby's shoulder because the world isn't a big bubble of love, and as always he will say "You're just too sweet for the world". Yuck, super cheesy right? Totally happens. But- I won't let anyone know, and go about my day like I don't care, it doesn't bother me, kill them with kindness, and do my best. I hope eventually I earn their respect (or die alone under a bridge and get eaten by cats) and who knows, I may develop the thick scales and fire breathing nurses are known for.

In the meantime, keep your chin up. You're not alone. Do your best, don't talk about anyone to anyone, smile and say good morning if they don't, kill them with kindness, and use use more paragraphs.