New to sobriety from everything...jumping out of my skin

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My story is simple. I surrendered my license in 2011. I contacted the nurse peer assistance program and asked to be monitored again and embarked on true sobriety, i have tried quite a few times over the past 3 years or my 5 year surrender stipulation. with 2 years left before i can even approach the BON and after much realization that my new baby and husband deserve a sober mom and wife. I entered the rooms again on March 19th and have been sober and clean since March 14. I learned an OTC Benedryl was my new drug of choice during an evaluation. OTC really !!!!! Now really really clean and sober and in recovery a year from an eating disorder of 20+ years. I have zero crutches and am going to meetings and have a sponsor. Some days it is all I can do not to jump out of my skin. Has anyone gone through this and how do you get through it. Is it normal to feel totally manic. I start an IOP program very soon and cannot wait to understand what is really wrong with me and what has been covered up by my eating disorder of 20+ years and then drugs and alcohol for the past 6 years. Thanks for letting my vent.

Specializes in critical care, ER,ICU, CVSURG, CCU.

you are experiencing 100% normal experiences in early sobriety..........i am very proud of you, i like the tools i see you using to just stay sober today......yes you are giving when you make those calls......as it has been said we only keep what we have by supporting and sharing our strength, hope, and experiences......:yes:

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I haven't been through alcoholism, but I can certainly vouch that having a baby around will kill off memory, even just as a father.

Best of luck to you on your journey. I'm sure everyone is correct that you shouldn't feel bad about reaching out when you need help. Stick with it.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

It's very common to have trouble with memory and mood swings in early sobriety. Your brain has some healing to do! Give yourself time, and remember that you have the same choice every single day to remain sober. Don't try to look too far ahead; sobriety isn't a goal so much as it is a process, and you'll only stress yourself out if you try to make it happen all at once. Every one of us who takes recovery seriously knows that there really is no "there" there---we are constantly learning, evolving, changing, and we will continue to do so as long as we live clean/sober.

FWIW, I was sober for almost 22 years until I had a relapse last fall. (I didn't drink, but I did overdose on Ativan.) It just about broke my spirit, but with the help of my psychiatrist and my priest, I was able to forgive myself and move on. I've now been clean/sober for six months and three days.

You can do this, I know you can. Trust the process, and understand that you've got a lot of discomfort to get through before it gets better. It will---I promise! :yes:

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

Thank you Viva. I am really trying to live it one day at a time. Trying hard not to think too much. That is the hard thing for this alcoholic/addict not trying to think to much and just do it everyday with the help of God and AA. Slowly learning a day at a time and to just breath when it gets hard.

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