I know this has probably been a topic on here before but I wanted to write out my feelings in hope someone could give me some advice.
I recently graduated in May and currently working on a Med/Surg Ortho unit. When I graduated, I was so ready to be the best compassionate nurse I could be. But now that I have been doing this for some months now, I feel overwhelmed and have constant anxiety. I find myself not being able to do the things I used to love to do, I can't fall asleep at night and if I wake up at 3 A.M. and I work the next morning, I toss and turn until my alarm clock goes off. I have an upset stomach, diarrhea, headaches etc. I leave work and I constantly think about something that I could have done better or missed. On my days off, I count the hours down until I have to go to work again.
For my job training, I learned about Ortho patients and surgeries but I was hired for the new unit which has been deemed anything but Ortho. It is more like whatever they can find to fill the unit: chest pain, sepsis, elevated lactic acid, small bowel obstructions, altered mental status---All things that I was not trained on. I am lucky if I get one Ortho patient a month and when I do, I feel like I forgot everything I was trained on.
We are constantly short with no HUCs/CNAs and having to TPC our patients but receive nasty emails from our manager when the unit is messy or when HUC duties aren't done etc.
I have had numerous conversations with doctors who make you feel like the smallest stupidest person alive and deal with intimidating experienced RN's who question you about stuff you didn't have time to look into or tell you that you did wrong but I won't dive into that.
I don't really know what answers I am seeking by posting this, but I just know that they didn't teach you how to deal with anxiety, doctors, mangers and the constant stress that is nursing. Any advice? I feel like I am ready to quit or look for a job in a clinic but I want to gain the knowledge that comes from working in the hospital.
Although I am not working in the US, I've gone /or, as a matter of fact, still am going through the same feelings.
I graduated from February last year, started out my career as an RN in one of the greatest hospitals in S. Korea.
To me the nursing procedure itself wasn't a big source of stress; it was rather people working with me.
They would make me feel like a piece of trash asking me 'why did you do this, why did you not do this, blah blah blah'.
Of course they had a point at times but it felt like they were trying to intimidate me or show me hostility since I was a new grad, most of the time.
It sounds lame, but I was going through quite similar things that you are experiencing, such as anxiety, and other negative health changes.
After 3 months, I quit working there and started working at a tiny local dialysis clinic.
It is very nice that I don't work over time here but people are still the same; they watch me wherever I go whatever I do like the 'big brother ' and look at me as if I am a piece of garbage. Nevertheless, I am just staying here for the time being because I know that I probably won't be able to find a position without any work experience.
RNs in S.Korea don't get paid much so I am thinking moving to the US within 5years. I mean, I am an RN but I get paid less than $10/hour(it's probably because I am a new grad and work at a local dialysis clinic). But I had this thought that work envrionment in the US would be better than here since you can speak up for yourself. I don't talk much at work because if I do so, older/senior nurses would consider rude(well, it's a part of asian culture) and tell me to shut up.
Ok, I guess my story doesn't help you much but I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. I am also in your shoes and probably many other new grad RNs, too. Thanks for sharing your dilemma here, my fellow. I'll cheer you on, no matter what.
Andie78, sorry that some on here tell you to keep your head up and "hang in there" as if somehow nursing will change as you gain experience. Sad truth is it does not, for you will be forced to change call it "attitude fatigue" a play on "alarm fatigue". You do however have many choices; you can push forward trudging through the unforgiving and underpaid mire known a nursing, or you can go back to school and possibly change careers entirely, or get an advanced degree in nursing like everyone else is doing.
There is no quick fix, but the sooner you make an exit plan or a plan for advanced nursing the better....Do not be the person hating what you have become in five or ten years, make the plan now.
Specializes in Cardiac, Home Health, Primary Care.
Around 6 months I was still nervous on my first unit (cardiac step down) as well BUT I didn't start feeling like you did until a few months later. At about 9 months I went from nights to days but shortly after this switch they bumped up our ratio and made some other dramatic changes. Nurses left in droves after this. I wound up being one of them when I realized I dreaded work every day and hoped I would get cancelled or someone would need to be floated to post partum floor (as floated nurses for the easy, uncomplicated patients).
I wound up going over to home health and loved it! I rarely dreaded a day of work again. I'm now a FNP and have yet to dread a day this entire first year. Yes there's anxiety but no dread.
Anyway, all of that to say you may just need a change to be happier. No position will be perfect but your body is getting that wound up over your current position it may be trying to tell you something.
I just wanted to thank everyone who commented on my post. I can't figure out how to comment on each post separately so I don't want to clog this up with a bunch of comments from yours truly. But I do really appreciate everyone's feedback and advice. It is so interesting to hear everyone's different perspective on my situation. I haven't checked this website in awhile due to being at work but I sincerely appreciate the unity of nurses. I will definitely continue to use this site as it is extremely helpful. I feel so much better and have a bunch of different ideas about my situation since posting this. Thank you so much everyone! :-)
monogatari
3 Posts
Hello, there.
Although I am not working in the US, I've gone /or, as a matter of fact, still am going through the same feelings.
I graduated from February last year, started out my career as an RN in one of the greatest hospitals in S. Korea.
To me the nursing procedure itself wasn't a big source of stress; it was rather people working with me.
They would make me feel like a piece of trash asking me 'why did you do this, why did you not do this, blah blah blah'.
Of course they had a point at times but it felt like they were trying to intimidate me or show me hostility since I was a new grad, most of the time.
It sounds lame, but I was going through quite similar things that you are experiencing, such as anxiety, and other negative health changes.
After 3 months, I quit working there and started working at a tiny local dialysis clinic.
It is very nice that I don't work over time here but people are still the same; they watch me wherever I go whatever I do like the 'big brother ' and look at me as if I am a piece of garbage. Nevertheless, I am just staying here for the time being because I know that I probably won't be able to find a position without any work experience.
RNs in S.Korea don't get paid much so I am thinking moving to the US within 5years. I mean, I am an RN but I get paid less than $10/hour(it's probably because I am a new grad and work at a local dialysis clinic). But I had this thought that work envrionment in the US would be better than here since you can speak up for yourself. I don't talk much at work because if I do so, older/senior nurses would consider rude(well, it's a part of asian culture) and tell me to shut up.
Ok, I guess my story doesn't help you much but I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. I am also in your shoes and probably many other new grad RNs, too. Thanks for sharing your dilemma here, my fellow. I'll cheer you on, no matter what.