New nurses feel like quitting?

Chiggysmom · Mar 21, 2012

I 100% concur and wish I did not have to. Nursing is about cliques and backstabbing. I am just about one year out and am leaving this profession as soon as I find something else. It breaks my heart because this profession is NOT about caring for the sick (which is why I chose this). How sad. And what do these young girls whom are a decade and half younger than me gain by being backstabbing and talk badly about me behind my back...they have nothing to gain (I don't want their job or their first born); my goal when I started was to be kind, helpful and warm to all. I guess I picked the wrong profession. It's plain sad.

This is really sad to me. I don't know where you work but not all places are like this. I do know that many nurses are cynical and sometimes hard hearted. Recently I was ill, and I was trying to get a nurse to cover for me because I wasn't allowed anymore call offs and when I asked her, she laughed and told me to "get a good night's sleep and you'll be fine in the mornng". I wasn't, I was sick to the point of thinking either I'm dyiing or I hope I die so I get relief either way from horrible chest cold. I would't have been asking her to work for me if I thought I was going to be fine by morning. I realized then that nurses can be some of the hardest hearted people. IDK if the system has made us that way or what? I'm really sorry your experience was like this. Mostly I think nurses are nice people and it's usually the administration that beats us down.

McLovin' · Mar 21, 2012

I'm wondering if any relatively new nurses (a year or less in the field) are on the verge of quitting or did quit with no intention of getting another nursing job. I'm not talking about the, "I had a bad day..." kind of 'wanting to quit; rather I'm talking about seriously feeling like you can't take it any more.
If this is you and you're either about to quit or did quit, what lead up to wanting to end a career that you worked so hard to enter? We know that getting into nursing school, finishing nursing school and passing the NCLEX are not easy accomplishments, so after years of hopes and dreams, something dramatic must have happened to get you to the point of giving up on what was probably your dream job? Can you share your story, here?

That lingering sensation of quitting is actually nothing more than your average, everyday fear. Being a new nurse with nothing on your orificenal except concepts, is definitely vulnerable to this sensation. In time it'll just go away as you learn new nursing skills and knowledge everyday.

So just keep on keeping on! :-)

Patti_RN · Mar 21, 2012

The problem with backstabbing, gossiping, and sabotaging goes way past nursing: these are problems we first experienced in middle school and resurface throughout life. Not to say men don't undermine their colleagues or have their own sets of personality faults, but these passive-aggressive, mean-spirited, cowardly traits are usually seen in females.

I wonder if the 'mean girls' in middle school know how cruel they are. I wonder if they know how much pain they inflict on the other adolescent girls. But, ten or twenty, or even forty years later, when they are still whispering, still making snide remarks, and still doing the eye-rolling and head shaking routines, they surely must know how hurtful and callous their actions are. In fact, I'm sure they know and that is their intent.

These horrible traits are seen in new nurses, experienced nurses, charge nurses, and even in unit directors. We've all been victims of it. But, some of those reading this will also be those who are responsible for such behaviors. Do you recognize yourself? What pleasure does it bring to be so cruel to others? What drives you to be so unkind?

tuahla · Mar 22, 2012

How many other people feel like this? I'm currently in nursing school. Do you think it would be better to be an advanced practice nurse?

cdsga · Mar 22, 2012

Being the best at what I can be, living for my dreams or the dreams of my family, having goals and interests outside of work, keeping out of cliques has been what has helped me survive. I hated cliques in school, and I don't like them now and I'm almost 55. I saw it in church, in civic clubs, in Girl Scouts even. So it's everywhere. Insecurity and dislike for self is the reason most people are gang up on others through cliques. Gossip and spreading lies about people's character is just a symptom of low self esteem. Sometimes people didn't get chosen in school and they think they can be the top dog now as an adult. Boring and predictable.

Sometimes it helps to befriend those who others don't, to learn about the "un-selected" ones who generally are more interesting anyway, will earn you more respect from your peers.

I know it is a basic human need to be included and connected with others, but it is work, friends and peer relations can come second. Sometimes you just have to start conversations, try to offer help when you can, or just be by yourself. People have things in common, you just have to let them get to know you and things usually ease up.

Read the Four Agreements. That helped me alot in just forgiving others for being ignorant. That statement resonated with me. There's more to the book than that, but that really summed it up for me. Once you forgive, you move on and look through and work through.

Patti_RN · Mar 22, 2012

Tuahla, I'm surprised how many nursing students and new nurses want to eventually become advance practice nurses. There are so many opportunites in nursing, teaching, managing, and becoming CRNAs and NPs are some of those possibilities. If you do set one of these fields as your eventual goal, make sure you do so not for the money or what you feel may be employment possibilities, but choose a career because you truly want to do that work.

Less than five years ago, the news was full of stories about the nursing shortage. People who otherwise wouldn't have been interested in nursing chose that path because of the promises of high salaries, easy employment, and flexibility. Many of those nurses are now unemployed or unhappily employed. The same can happen by going straight from nursing school to graduate school, or going to grad school with little nursing experience.

I decided to return to school to become a Nurse Practitioner. There are days I love nursing and days I'm frustrated, but I'm not looking at becoming an NP to escape a bad job market or to put nursing behind me. Rather, I want to provide a higher level care to my patients; I feel I can be more effective and valuable as an NP. My other passion is mentoring and helping others who want to become nurses or who want to find other choices in nursing. My orignal post asking for feedback from those who quit or feel like quitting was to figure out if there is a way to make changes that would encourage new nurses to stick it out and find happiness in a career they worked so hard to enter.

I've been through many of the horrible experiences people have shared, here. I don't know the magic formula, but one thing I learned is that it's not just the burden of the job that discourages new nurses, it's the behaviors of fellow nurses. That is something we can all work to change.

tuahla · Mar 22, 2012

Thanks for the response, patti. Personally I hear most people saying that they want to do advanced practice so that they can have more autonomy/responsibility with patient care, instead of just waiting for a physician. Grad school is definitely enough of a deterrent for me right now, at least for a very long time...I'm already sick of school! I was wondering more about the environment that you work in. (NP in a family practice vs. RN acute care, maybe?) I want to help people, but don't want to be stressed all the time, and personally I'd gladly take a paycut if that meant I had a smaller patient load.

Patti_RN · Mar 22, 2012

cdsga, you're so right about the cliques! I hate those exclusive groups that discourage others. I've also seen what happens to those who try to avoid the cliques and ignore the 'mean girls' (who are now 'mean women'!). The 'mean women' don't like to be marginalized and really target those who try to ignore them. You seem like you're strong enough and secure enough not to be brought down by them. You're also an experienced nurse who doesn't need them for information or guidance.

I hope all new nurses get to your position so they are not at the mercy of the cliques and subjected to the destructive behaviors of colleagues who want to destroy them. I'm also pretty sure you're the type who mentors and helps others. Nursing needs more role models like you!

joanna73, BSN, RN · Mar 22, 2012

I've been a nurse for a year and a half. I don't feel like quitting, but I'm not impressed with healthcare and all the demands. Calls and requests at work for extra shifts are endless, and I've accepted that this will only get worse as more nurses retire. Doesn't matter where you work, either. For this reason, I don't ever plan on working in a hospital. In a few years, I think I'll either go work in a clinic or get my Masters. Certain areas come with a lot less stress. No job, no matter how much you might enjoy it is work sacrificing your health.

Patti_RN · Mar 22, 2012

Tuahla, I wouldn't last a shift in acute care! I'd be so far over my head as an AP nurse in that setting! I thought long and hard about going to NP school, I didn't want to take time off work, attend an expensive program, then find out I didn't really want that career. So, I shadowed a couple NPs and gave it a lot of thought.

What I'll eventually do is the equivalent of family practice (I work with underserved populations). They are desperate for medical care and I often felt frustrated by my inability to do more. The responsibility of diagnosing illnesses and prescribing meds is very stressful and intimidating. For this reason, I believe that having experience as a nurse--seeing illnesses, seeing what course of treatment is usual is very valuable.

I understand that you're fed up with school. Nursing school was the hardest thing I ever did (which I told my law school classmates all the time when they complained about law school!) But, nursing school also provided me the most useful education I've ever had, and in many ways I really loved it. Virtually every day, a friend or neighbor will call me about their kid's sore throat, or advice about a splinter. I'm always happy to help them. All my knowledge comes from nursing school and my experience as a nurse.

I hope you find your niche, and that nursing school is over soon! If you have specific questions, send me a PM and I'll help in any way I can.

Nursewick · Mar 22, 2012

I left Nursing after 18 months to go back to my previous career. I loved Nursing and I loved my patients but the workplace drama and the clinical director thinking it's perfectly okay to save a buck by hiring UAP to call themselves, and introduce themselves as, Nurses as well as assess, mix biologic medications, infuse patients and even access ports was more than I could handle being a part of. Why bother risking my license by working with people who are bound to make a HUGE mistake with no formal pharm, IV, port access or assessment education? I can write my own paycheck in a field I worked 15 years in. As boring as it may be, I am grateful that I am not stuck in Healthcare after my experience. I use my experience in Nursing to pass along to others that you should ALWAYS KNOW THE QUALIFICATIONS OF THOSE WHO ARE CARING FOR YOU and IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH A PROVIDERS LACK OF KNOWLEDGE OR CONFIDENCE - DEMAND SOMEONE WHO IS QUALIFIED!

cdsga · Mar 22, 2012

I appreciate the nice comments. Very sweet of you.

I find people interesting, even as a small child. For some reason I never fit in with any one group. To some that can be a lonely place, but it's been a blessing for me. I think its because my Dad took me with him on business trips and included me in the "grown-up" conversations usually with managers, usually all men. I was treated kindly and asked my opinion about things. Don't know why, but this really lessened my fear around people and I learned that everyone has something to say. When I became a nurse and started doing charge nurse duties, I was naive enough to try techniques of management that I read and studied to improve myself and be the best. Very idealistic I know, but many really worked. I like the diversity of moving from one group of people to the other. I'm not defined by one group and never want to be. The only clique I'm in is the profession of nursing.

The irony of trying good management techniques progressed my units that I managed to the point that we were super good, and the upper management dissolved the teams. Therefore we were always starting over. It was like a hamster wheel. But I remember those times of great productivity and can demonstrate that they work.

I am determined that efficiency is only a buzzword. Effective management is isolated, and those who have success in managing intimidate. When you do a great job, things run smoothly and people are relatively happy, that exposes poor management styles by others and they start the sabotage. Interesting. It also lessens the turnover in your units and then the attention is focused on poor performing units. That also brings out the beast in some fellow managers. When that happens you have to step back from the big picture and celebrate small victories. It may be watered down, but you have to persevere in your goals.

I am very fortunate and blessed to have a friend outside the workplace that allows me to vent and try out things and obtain objective advice about handling workplace situations, I am convinced that practicing certain things really gives you courage when faced with uncomfortable situations. Constructive criticism is also given in these practice sessions, with insight that I would be too emotionally involved with to see it in a different light.