new nurse seeking advice

[coffeenurse24, BSN, RN]

Hello, I am a new nurse and recently finished a new grad program on a pediatric medsurg floor from August-the end of December. In that time I struggled a lot with the fast pace of the floor and a bad culture within the floor itself. I was constantly feeling stressed and overwhelmed and under a lot of pressure, which caused me to not perform at my best. Thus, it was mutually decided that the floor was not a good fit for me a the time and I transitioned to a vaccine clinic. The vaccine clinic also did not work out for me and I am back to square one. 

I gained a lot of experience in my months working on the inpatient floor, and love pediatrics but it was just not the right place for me. The area that I became most passionate about in nursing school was maternity nursing. I think I want to become a midwife and would be great at being one, though I am no ready to dive back into school and would like. Some experience working on a postpartum unit and a labor and delivery nursing unit before I make that decision. I would also love to incorporate holistic medicine into my practice. 
I also am extremely interested in OR nursing but am nervous if I go into that and do not like it I will have to start completely over. 
I also really want to do travel nursing, but know the easiest way to do that is to do adult med-surg, though I really do not want to do that. 

I  think I need a more nurturing environment but am very lost. I am very scared that I am going to have a similar (bad) experience as I did at the start of my career. I am a very optimistic and calming individual and want to find an area of nursing that reflects that. 

I would welcome all advice I can get! Should I look for another new grad program? Should I try an outpatient setting? I am feeling very discouraged but I don’t want to give up so soon. I just need to find a good fit and the right environment. 

[0.9%NormalSarah, BSN, RN]

You’ve unfortunately been through a lot and have already left two jobs within your first few months as a nurse. The first year no matter where you start can feel awful for many reasons, and you’re still in that period. My suggestion is that you have a lot of interests in nursing which is awesome, but you need experience in acute care to hone in on what you love so you can plan a direction. Get back into the hospital in any job you can get, and make it your top priority to stay there at least a year, even if it doesn’t feel like the best fit. You have to push through the first year or two, it’s hard but you can do it!

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

I don't want to come across as negative but some of what you have to go through in nursing you just have to get through even if it's not what you want. I'm sorry your first experience was negative, I'm not sure why the vaccine clinic didn't work out, but you need to stick with something so you can figure out where to go while gaining experience. If you're looking for calming and nurturing, maybe acute care is not where your future lies. You mention things that you liked in school, but until you have some practical experience, what you think you'll like based on school isn't necessarily based on the real world of what that job is. I would recommend acute care for the range of experiences, but if you have concerns you might try to found an outpatient setting to build up your skills and confidence. Good luck.