Hi! I'm looking for some advice from this community. I graduated in May 2020 from a MSN FNP program. I have 7 years of nursing experience. Most of this was intermediate hospital care- Tele. I was in charge of a very busy telemetry unit. I was a go-to person on the unit, and I loved my job. It was hard to leave my coworkers during this pandemic. I started my first NP job 2 months ago. It's a private endocrinology practice. Upon graduation, I felt that primary care is where I wanted to work, but when the opportunity came to work in endocrinology, I was really excited for the challenge.
Unfortunately, I am having a very difficult time. I work with 3 physicians, 2 other NPs, 2 PAs. My first week was overwhelming as expected. I started learning the EMR which is brand new to me. I rotated between the NPs and PAs. Mainly observing for 2 weeks. On my 3rd week, I had my own patients (like 4 per day). This has steadily increased each week. Now I am seeing between 16-17 patients per day in my 8th week. Next week, I will begin seeing 20-25 per day. There has been no clear orientation process. I have been going early to start my notes and essentially look up all my patients so that im as prepared as possible. I just feel very scared. Im studying as much as I can, but I am feeling very discouraged. I have received very little feedback from any of the physicians, and they are signing all my notes. My education was great. As a FNP, I feel my education was well rounded and comprehensive. However, I certainly have so much to learn. I do not feel proficient in managing these chronic conditions "on my own". The physicians and NPs are approachable when I have questions, but I just feel like I have been thrown to the wolves. It feels unfair to me and more importantly to these patients. I need more time for education and management of these conditions.
Next week, I am expected to see a patient for a brand new insulin pump start. I have observed one of these so far. My first exposure to an insulin pump was when I started this job. I have learned a lot about the insulin settings, but I honestly don't understand much of it. I feel stupid seeing these patients who have been on insulin pumps for years, and I can barely decipher the pump download let alone make insulin pump setting changes.
Last week, I expressed my concern to the office manager who then spoke with 2 of the physicians. They agreed that going from 16 patients one week to 25 the next is too much, and my schedule was adjusted to seeing 20-22 patients. I am remarkably overwhelmed and anxious. The other advanced practice providers are nice enough and approachable also, but I just feel like this is crazy. I tried asking if this is the typical process, and they said yes. They don't seem to have much sympathy for me LOL. Side note, they also hired a brand new PA one month before me. His "orientation" has been similar. He seems overwhelmed also, but I haven't been able to ask him directly how he feels about things.
Thank you for reading. I'm just searching for some help. I don't know what to do at this point. I want to quit so badly, but I don't want to be a quitter either. I just feel like this is insane. My mental health is suffering as I have always taken pride in my work. I want to provide good care. Thank you again.
