Hello everyone. I am a nurse and I have a long history of addiction. I have been an active addict since I was 15 yrs old and I am now 29.
The first drug that caused me major trouble in my life was meth. I first went to treatment for that when I was 19 and then again when I was 22. I managed to stay clean off the meth but used other substances, alcohol, pot, and benzos. Throughout this I managed to go to college and get a nursing degree and license. I thought I had it together, and thought I had control of myself.
I got a job at a hospital and soon after was introduced to opiates through my ex husband. Never thought this would be a problem. Only used them occassionaly and recreationally. Never dreamed that my addiction would become so out of control that I would find myself here.
I was diverting from work and forged a prescription. This was 2 weeks ago. I knew that if I didn't stop my life would be over. I sought help on my own through a counselor and doctor that got me on suboxone 2 weeks ago. I have been clean for 2 weeks.
Yesterday I was confronted at work for diverting and the prescription. I admitted and told them that I had sought help 2 weeks ago and had been clean. They have apparently been investigating me. I was suspended and they are contacting the state BON. I know I will have to enroll in the nurse assistance program and be monitored. I am ok with that because I am willing to do whatever it takes to finally be clean and be in active recovery. They don't know yet if legal charges will be brought against me. The hospital said they would contact the board, find out exactly what to do, and go from there. They were actually very supportive and seemed like they sincerely want to help me. I don't know if and when they will allow me to come back to work or if I even want to.
The truth is that I applied for a clinic position last week because after entering into outpatient treatment I wanted to start with a clean slate. I knew what I had done at the hospital and to be quite honest I don't even want to work around narcotics.
The clinic called me for an interview today. I don't know what to do. No matter what I will have to be honest with prospective future employers. I need to work. I am a single mother and have been struggling through a divorce. I don't know if I will even be allowed to work/change jobs as a nurse in the middle of this mess. I haven't heard anything from the BON yet but think I should probably call them. I think I will go ahead and enroll myself in the assistance program right away if I can.
The worst part of this is that 10 years ago I have a felony conviction for using stolen credit cards during my meth use. I had to sit for the board to get my license and assured them that I had changed. This was before I became addicted to opiates. Also, the hospital I work for decided to give me a chance and then I went and did what I did.
I am going through so many emotions right now and am really struggling. I have been crying off and on and feel so depressed. I have been in close contact with my addiction counselor and sponsor the past 24 hours.
