I was wondering if I can get some advice from more experienced nurses. I was hired as a new grad to the MICU at a large teaching hospital 8 months ago. I worked there as a tech during nursing school, and so thought my transition would be a little easier than those of others but I am struggling a lot more than my other new grad peers. I want to stick it out here and learn as much as I can, but I'm just not sure sometimes if I'm cut out for it.
First off, my time management is horrible. I know that. I am trying so hard but every shift I feel like a chicken with its head cut off no matter how easy my two patients may be.
I've had one occasion where my patient really started crashing and had to be cardioverted and rapidly started on pressors. I got the doctors to the room right away and had the help of other nurses, but when I was in the room I just froze and didn't know what to do. I had never experienced a situation like this at all on orientation, and the nurses that helped me kind of just came in and took over. The doctors were yelling out orders and the nurses were doing things so fast I couldn't even wrap my head around what was going on. I'm glad people who knew what to do swept in, but I was just expected to know what to do. I got a stern lecture from the charge nurse afterwards telling me that I need to be more present next time and basically just do a better job. I burst out crying at that point, because I have no idea how I can do better. I am trying my absolute hardest.
My orientation was 12 weeks long, and for me I did not feel like this was enough. I have friends in the ICU at a different teaching hospital who had 6 months of orientation. I wish that was the case for me. Other new grads seem just fine with the 12 weeks, but maybe for me that just isn't enough time.
My preceptor was also extremely critical and expected me to be able to manage everything for both patients without getting behind right off the bat. I had a couple days on orientation with a different preceptor (who was actually the nurse I originally requested to work with but didn't get) and I felt so much better. I wish I could have had her the whole time because I feel like maybe I would be a better nurse right now.
I feel so much anxiety at work, and work so hard but still feel like I am always behind. I am always there later than all the other nurses, usually staying until 8, and sometimes even until 9. People from the oncoming shift make so many comments about me still being there, and it makes me really self conscious.
I think about switching to a different unit, but I know med surg is super busy also and I never want to assume the grass will be greener on another unit. I have met with a senior nurse on my unit, and she referred me to the nurse education department at the hospital. I'm seeking all the help I can and don't want to throw in the towel. I'm also a really warm, fuzzy person. I don't feel like I get that at all on my unit but I know the ICU is a great learning experience.
I was just wondering if people think I should stick it out and things will be better? Or am I just one of those nurses not cut out for the ICU, or nursing in general? I know they say it takes a year or two to really get the hang of things, but I feel just as helpless as the day I got off orientation.
Any constructive advice would be really appreciated! Thanks!
