New grad nurse starting in ICU

[Nursebusybeee]

I am a new grad nurse in the ICU. My program offers a 12 week orientation and then I'd be on my own. I have had a total of 3 weeks on the unit with my preceptor and I am starting to second guess my choice. I feel very incompetent and don't know if I can truly handle it. I have been handling 2 patients on my own since only the second day on the unit and it has been a problem figuring out time management. With all the tasks, medication administration, and documentation I feel like I am just running around but not entirely sure why certain things are being done. When we get report in the morning, my preceptor has never explained what our main priorities for these patients are instead I am just let loose to take care of both patients. When I ask questions she seems annoyed which has turned me off from asking her further questions. I never do anything unless I am confident I'm doing it correctly. If I don't know I will ask whoever is available.

My last couple of shifts I have left crying because I did not feel supported. When I had to give report at shift change I was missing information and was chewed out by the night shift nurse.... rightfully so. But the nurse covering me that night was not helping or showing me how to find that information and instead was making me feel very stupid. I don't know if I can do ICU and am considering asking to be put in another unit where I can hone in on my practice.

Any advice from other nurses in the community?