New grad nurse in hospital and feel like I won't make it through orientation.

[krissyr]

So I'm a second career nurse (never worked in health care before - in school I was working in former my career through school). I graduated in December, passed the boards in February and applied to every job possible. I was lucky enough to be accepted into a new grad residency program at a well known hospital out of state (and moved by myself over 600 miles from home). I was told the program would be a 12 week orientation with a preceptor, as part of the two year residency committment. Well I've worked about 4 weeks on busy med/sug floor with the same preceptor (so far I've worked 15 - 12 hour shifts), and I'm due to change preceptors soon). The problem is I feel like I'm drowning already. My clinical skills are week, and I'm pretty sure my preceptor thinks I'm stupid (as well as the other younger nurses on the floor). I'm full of anxiety all day long, and feelings of shame, and doubt. I cry almost daily, and feel like I will never get the hang of everything. I'm supposed to be taking care of 4 patients on my own now, but I'm still at 2, and still being told I'm too slow and my time management is not where it should be. Again, everything is completely new to me, and I thought the program would be more of a transitional period from school to RN (with more one-on-one assistance.) But I'm finding the expectations to be much greater and faster than I anticipated. Not to mention the fact that I'm really supposed to be on my own at 8 weeks, not at 12 weeks which is what I expected (and really feel I need more like 6 months). My NM said she wants me to be at the expected 4-5 patient level in about 2 weeks. All of this is completely overwhelming me and I feel like I won't be able to make it.I know people say the first year is the hardest and just push on through, but I feel sick to my stomach that I'm going to have a major screw up, due to rushing around or forget something pertinent. I'm wondering if it's worth it for me to continue in the program -considering the amount of stress and anxiety I'm experiencing (it just feels so wrong to me). And I don't want to work in an environment like this. I feel like I made a huge mistake in going into nursing. I don't like the responsibility of caring for people so sick when I feel so incompetent. And I know my preceptor and other younger nurses on the floor think I'm stupid. (I wish I could do PT - but the schooling takes so much longer and at my age I can't do that). With no acute care experience, where can I go to work as a nurse? I just don't want the pressure that I'm feeling..Any thoughts/advice to a struggling, extremely stressed and anxious second career nurse?

[sourapril]

Hospital is not the only place for nurses, don't forget public health. The pace is slower, work is still challenging but you will feel more appreciated by your clients.

[iPink, BSN, RN]

Sorry to hear that krissyr. While applying for jobs, is volunteering in the meantime an option for you? You never know what doors could open for you. Even though I'm still working on the unit (and really can't wait to get out of bedside), I'm also volunteering at my DOH and love it there.

[krissyr]

Flatlander, Sorry to hear about your situation too. At least I know I'm not alone...I'm just going to keep looking. I do feel like something is wrong with me that I don't like hospital nursing..I wanted to hold out for the golden 1 year of experience, but that didn't work out..Are you working now or are you still looking too?

[krissyr]

Thanks sourapril..but how do you get into a public health job with no experience? Every job I see outside of the hospital wants at least a year of experience.Though I know there's so many different areas of nursing, everyone seems to want at least a year of acute care..It's so frustrating and that's what makes me want to give up on nursing..

[NevadaFighter, BSN, RN]

Good luck krissyr! Hope you will keep us updated!

[greyL]

Try to remember what it was like when you learned to drive. The year before getting your learner's permit was the loooonnnnngggggessstttt year of your LIFE. Then you sat in the classes and couldn't wait to get behind the wheel.

And it was harder than it looked when you were watching your mom drive you around. All those things to remember! All those things to observe! You couldn't have the radio on because it decreased your concentration just enough to make you even more nervous. You ground the gears, and the tires squealed when you jammed on the brakes parking in the lot. When your mom, riding shotgun, yelled, "Stop!" when you didn't see the guy in front of you didn't have functioning brake lights, she scared the bejaysus out of you and made you mad at the same time.

When the big State Police guy took you out for your driver's test, you were shaking in your boots. But you know what? You passed. You couldn't believe it, couldn't believe you had that thing in your wallet, because still when your mom handed you the keys it was scary. The first time -- and the second, and the fifth-- you drove the interstate into the city by yourself you thought you were gonna die. But you didn't. It got better.

And now.... flash forward mumblemumble years. You buckle up and back down the driveway, drive with three kids yakking in the back seat, listening to Terri Gross on NPR, aware of every damn fool on the road, and you haven't had a problem with parallel parking since the Reagan administration. While drinking your morning iced coffee. And planning your grocery list. And you remember to get gas.

See?

You can do this. You're just ... new.

Thank you so much for this post! I'm starting my 4th week and I feel so overwhelmed and like I don't know anything!

[sourapril]

What I did was emailing or calling HR from individual county health department and ask them if they hire new grads. I got some good response this way. Sometimes they will hire new grads even though the job description says one year experience.

[lucypear]

Is there a way you can ask to extend your orientation period? We only get 4 weeks orientation with a preceptor at my hospital and many of my peers have asked for an extension and been granted it. I'm halfway through my orientation period at the moment and 2 weeks in, its already expected for me to be taking a full pt load now so I'm ready in two weeks, and I am definitely most not ready so will probably be asking for an extension too! The way I see it, if you aren't feeling safe then your patients safety might be at risk too. The worst your nurse manager can do is say no :) Hope things work out for you!

[newgradnursehelp]

Dear KrissyR,

This comment is coming almost five years later, but I have to know, how are you doing in Nursing? I am about to graduate with my BSN in May and I am scared out of my pants. I just finished by practicum and I am having extreme anxiety. Reading your post from five years ago was like a book, and I have to know the ending.. how are things??