So I wanted to know, how many out there have felt this way during their first year or what your advice would be to me. Im a new grad, starting out in ICU, have about 6months of orientation. The hosptial I work for is a small community hospital, the pts we see are not traumas, it's mostly MIs, strokes, resp distress, so mostly it's an MICU. The orientation when it was presented to me, during the interview process, consisted of education classes with preceptors, mentors to help me through this "new grad" process, etc. So very excited about the job and even more when I did get the job. Well, all that went down the toilet pretty fast! The suppose "classes" were not "ICU" specific, as a matter of fact all the "ICU" learning was given to me to learn on my own time, I didn't get a hemodynamic class until my 10th week in, I wasn't given a class that goes through the P&P of the ICU unit, just told it's on "a binder somewhere and it says ICU P&P, it would be good to look through them". Couldn't look them up online, but it's not online, and when am I going to have time when Im on the floor taking pts? I wasn't given a class of the different/common drips used on the unit, reg concentrations on them, how to titrate them, nothing! All this I guess they thought I would learn on my own or with my preceptors. So now that I was given a "trial" few weeks on my own, I messed up with medications & drips, having a medication error. So now Im back on orientation and expected to know all the drips like the back of my hand within a few days. To make it worse, I signed a contract with the hospital to stay and work with them for 3yrs after my orientation, b/c of the wonderful program I was starting with them and the cost it would be for them to "train" me. So since the beginning I've just been feeling very unhappy with this whole situation, and now Im really considering leaving the hospital! I don't want to make any decisions while Im feeling like this, so my question is: have any of you out there, as a new grad to the ICU, really HATED where you worked and wanted to leave within the first year? What should I do? This whole situation is making me question my decision to coming in to ICU as a new grad, esp to a hospital not giving it to me right, and Im considering going to pediatrics like I wanted to do at first. But I don't know if this will look bad to other employers, breaking a contract and all? plus I really dont have the experience so it would be like starting all over again. My husband keeps telling me to "bit the bullet" and ride it out with them these next 3 years and then go, but I just don't know if I can! HELP!