NEW GRAD: I have anxiety to work

[BabyRN23]

i studied lvn in 2010 and str8 to RN and graduated in sept. this year. When I got my license as an LVN it took me 6 months to find a job, until I got 1 and they trained me for 3 days and put me on the unit with 47 patients. I was the only nurse and I had 4 CNA's. This was in a nursing home. At first I was excited during training, but after they put me on the floor alone.. no one else but 4 CNA's.. I started suffering anxiety and panic attacks. I had 3 trips to the ER and diagnosed with panic disorder. I was prescribed with Valium, but i never bought any. Since then I would have panic attacks ( feeling like a heart attack), even when i was at school.. I even talked to my instructor in RN school that I would quit...

but because of my faith in God I pursued my RN which I was 1 quarter away from graduating, and until after 5 months of working I stopped. I concentrated on my studies, but the anxiety, depression and fear, panic.. every possible worse case feeling I felt during that time. I was also living alone since I was an out of state student.

I took my NCLEX-RN in november this year and passed. Now m back here in Washington, and everytym I think of working as a nurse i feel this chemical rushing thru my veins going up my brain and start to panic. I feel like m dying that moment and want to die.

I submitted my resume to some jobs, and one called me the following day. It's a home health job and wants me to start soon. I am scared. I am scared when I would be alone with the patient. I fear giving meds... I don't know. I am scared to work as a nurse. ANY advice and hope pls? Thanks! God Bless!

[roser13, ASN, RN]

As someone who also suffers from anxiety issues surrounding nursing, home health would be the last place I would want to work as a new RN. You would be on your own and expected to perform autonomously.

If I were you, I would hold out for a more structured environment with plenty of orientation and support, neither of which you had in your first position as an LPN.

[BabyRN23]

Now I'm more scared of what u just said. Where do I go when nobody replied to my resume because they want someone with a year or 2+ experience. I needed to start somewhere somehow to put my foot on the door.