New grad: Feeling lost, incompetent, and wants to quit

[jl18]

Hi everyone,

I am a new grad and I graduated in December 2016 with my BSN (with honors) and got my first interview and was hired at a well-known hospital the day after I pass my NCLEX. However, I had no prior experience before I got into nursing school. The only nursing experience I had were clinicals. Throughout nursing school, I made so many friends and I loved the intellectual challenge and I looked forward to clinical because I got to see some of my friends and I loved taking care of my patients. At the end of each clinical, I would always get a "thank you" or "you're going to become a great nurse" from my patients and it always boosted my confidence and motivation to become a nurse. Now that I have been working for about 2-3 months and close to finishing my orientation, I dread coming to work and I am always scared on the job. I feel like I am not the bubbly, happy person I used to be. When I am on the job I feel like I forgot everything I was taught in school. I am on a heavy telemetry unit and get 6-7 pts who are confused, sundowns, or coming back from surgery and I feel defeated after each shift. My medications would always be late, my reports would be unorganized and confusing and I would forget important information because there was so much stuff that happened. I would make mistakes on documentation because of the constant pressure of finishing everything quickly. I also feel like I don't know my patients. I don't know what I would do without my preceptor and I am terrified to take care of these patients and even take responsibility for their lives on my own. I feel like I would freak out if any of my patient codes or won't even know what to do if my patient codes. In addition, there was a day when I was giving meds, I stepped out of my patient's room and I overheard the someone saying "how did anyone let this girl graduate nursing school? How did she even pass the boards?" I didn't let that get to me the rest of the shift, and I did the best I could for every one of my patients and stayed positive and always attended to their needs with a smile. I feel so overwhelmed, lost, alone, confused, and I try to stay positive and tell myself that things will get better and my skills will improve, but I am terrified that I will not become a medically safe nurse because of these feelings that I have. I am also terrified that I will lose this job and won't be able to find any other jobs because I am so new with very little experience. I'm not sure if I should endure this hardship and pray that I survive for a year until I gain some experience and transfer somewhere else (to another unit, hospital, office, practice, etc.) or if I should just give up on nursing all together and choose a different career.

[JKL33]

"how did anyone let this girl graduate nursing school? How did she even pass the boards?"

This kind of thing is most often spoken by one of a couple of types of people:

-Someone who hasn't been a student/new grad for a long time and doesn't realize the gap between formal nursing education and everything else the new nurse needs to know in order to function independently and confidently

-Your run-of-the-mill person who doesn't quite feel good enough about himself/herself and tries to feel better by criticizing and undermining others

Whether due to genuine ignorance or something more mental health-related, there's no excuse for that type of commentary on a nursing unit and I'm sorry you had to overhear it.

Two things that may help improve your perspective about everything you wrote above:

-Start practicing the discipline of not allowing inappropriate communications to insult you personally. These may come from patients, families, or co-workers (unfortunately) but regardless of who says them, you need to practice not absorbing them; not wasting emotional energy on them

-Take some time (even just a few minutes) to take credit for everything you've learned so far! You feel unsure of yourself right now (as we all did) but certainly if you think of your first day of orientation and work forward, you will see that you have learned an enormous amount. Just take some time to let yourself be encouraged by that.

Best wishes ~

[missmollie, ADN, BSN, RN]

That first year is tough, but everyone goes through it. Stick it out, it will get better!

[hailey1]

Hi, I know this post is from last year and you're probably doing great now since you handled that first year very well. Honestly, I feel the same way right now. Started November last year in ICU, but still on orientation now. They had to extend my orientation because some families that I worked with, did not "acknowledge" the care I provided to them and they can sense my "newness" as a new grad. I feel terrible. I am doing my very best every single day but I feel like it is never enough. I want to quit, this month is my 6th month. My friends told me not to quit, wait until I learn more things in the unit but I feel so empty. This is definitely not me, I've never been this quiet my whole life, never been afraid like this, don't know what to do if my patient codes. I feel so lost. Please help me, I don't know what to do

[CBNP]

Hailey, I too am a new grad (ER not ICU) I have these feelings too. Believe in yourself and your abilities. I was reading through these posts to find books to brush up on everything I wouldn't see on a daily basis and to help me feel more comfortable with my confidence at work. I saw your comment and want you to know you aren't alone and God will get you through this. You wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't exactly where you were suppose to be. I hope you can find HOPE each day and feel more at ease at work. Praying for you!

[Amet]

Hi. This is ME right now. Each and Every single words that you’ve written resonates with my feeling at this moment, EXACTLY SAME feelings. Getting off of My orientation in little over a week from now, working in Cardiac/Tele floor, No prior experience, and feeling exactly the same: Incompetent, don’t know my patient even by the end of 12 hrs shift. What would I do if my patient codes or even get a little worse also, and feel like the techs know more/better than I do. One tech once sighed at me also. Can you please share how you doing right now, still in the profession or not, how you feel right now, what you did to overcome that feeling, please?