New grad feeling left out

[lovelylady3]

I quit my first nursing job in med surg due to being mistreated.

I was there for almost 8 months and I felt like I was being targeted by some charge nurses. They would yell in the hall, refuse to help me, told the director I asked too many questions,

The director said they had all given up hope on me and did not want to help me.

I had good evals, no write ups. Patients liked me and I suspect

I was not getting credit for good patient reports. My coworkers seemed to like me. I never made a med error or assesment error. Even the drs complimented me and said i was a great colleague.

The straw that broke the camels back was a minor paperwork error, in that I forgot to fill out one of the forms which isn't even a part of the actual record! And to be fair, I was not the only nurse responsible for this form! But they acted like I was. My charge had been going thru my chart, found that form and took it right to my director. They called me into the office, berated me and told me all those bad things above. They said i needed to go on a work improvement program because my iv start skills were not good either. I feel like I am about average for a new grad on iv starts. I was in tears, and she told me to put my big girl panties on and deal with it, that this was just a part of nursing.

I do ask a lot of questions, but that's how I learn. I still have new grad insecurity.

And I always want to make sure i am doing things right. But I guess they saw it as a sign I was not progressing?

I feel so discouraged , I see my classmates from nursing school all talking about how much

They love their jobs and they are friends with co workers on facebook. I never had that at my old job. As I interview for new jobs, how can I tell that a new workplace will be supportive and friendly? I want to have a wworkplace "family" where team work is valued. Many managers will say they are supportive but then they end up the opposite.

[jannymac]

I was hazed at my first job, and when I was a CNA, had a charge nurse who was quite open about her dislike of me because I was thin and she was anything but. That charge nurses are supported in being verbally abusive of you says poor things about your current employer. Dig in your heels, grit your teeth, do things their way and pretend to agree with them (and avoid your charge nurses). and show them what you're really made of - then take that newly gained expertise and confidence elsewhere, where you will be appreciated. Beware of magnet hospitals, though - they tend to practice one-size-fits-all medicine - AND nursing.

[lovelylady3]

As a nurse with almost 5 years experience, it always shocks me when other experienced RNs say that new nurses ask too many questions as though it's a bad thing.

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? I tell my new nurses to ask me any questions they have and if I don't know the answer, I cop to it and we go ask a different nurse or the doc on rounds.

If you find it annoying to the point of belittling the new nurse or your pride is too big so that you can't admit when you don't know the answer (because nobody knows everything), then you shouldn't be precepting new nurses, IMO.

I agree! I love helping nursing students. Passing on what I have learned to others is my favorite part of nursing! I can't wait until I get enough experience to be a preceptor! :)

[uRNmyway, ASN, RN]

I agree! I love helping nursing students. Passing on what I have learned to others is my favorite part of nursing! I can't wait until I get enough experience to be a preceptor! :)

But nobody said we don't like to be asked questions by new grads. What most of us have said is to change the approach with the questions. Present a possible solution with your question to help show your critical thinking skills as well as to help us determine what needs work...

[MECO28, BSN, RN]

From another poster: ["hmmm you seem very defensive and you seem to have a very entitled attitude for a rather new nurse. As others have said you need to take a good long look at yourself first, because if you think that everyone else is the problem and you are the poor victim all the time, chances are YOU are actually the problem. I can only imagine how obnoxious that attitude must have been to your co-workers trying to orient/ deal with you. YOu would have driven me NUTS. Maybe take your ego out of the equation and realize that if you stop complaining, you might actually learn something. This attitude must be fostered by the schools now, because we see more and more of it in new grads and its recipe for disaster everytime. newsflash, you aren't entitled to respect, you have to earn it, and you miss have NOT."]

So.....umm, have a bad day? Not sure I could summon this much vitriol for someone on a message board. Also, do you make your patients earn your respect too or is that just reserved for your coworkers?

Perhaps, just perhaps if we treated other nurses with the same respect we automatically give to patients, doctors, family members, etc, we might find this field a little more fulfilling and less emotionally taxing. Perhaps the rates of burnout would be a bit lower. My God, some of you guys are like a bunch of jackals on a wounded antelope. Calm the heck down.

[nurse_maya28]

From another poster: ["hmmm you seem very defensive and you seem to have a very entitled attitude for a rather new nurse. As others have said you need to take a good long look at yourself first, because if you think that everyone else is the problem and you are the poor victim all the time, chances are YOU are actually the problem. I can only imagine how obnoxious that attitude must have been to your co-workers trying to orient/ deal with you. YOu would have driven me NUTS. Maybe take your ego out of the equation and realize that if you stop complaining, you might actually learn something. This attitude must be fostered by the schools now, because we see more and more of it in new grads and its recipe for disaster everytime. newsflash, you aren't entitled to respect, you have to earn it, and you miss have NOT."]

So.....umm, have a bad day? Not sure I could summon this much vitriol for someone on a message board. Also, do you make your patients earn your respect too or is that just reserved for your coworkers?

Perhaps, just perhaps if we treated other nurses with the same respect we automatically give to patients, doctors, family members, etc, we might find this field a little more fulfilling and less emotionally taxing. Perhaps the rates of burnout would be a bit lower. My God, some of you guys are like a bunch of jackals on a wounded antelope. Calm the heck down.

Yes I'm sure it's very likely that everyone else was the problem at her job and that she was the perfect nurse and everyone else was jealous... yes I bet that's what happened. Just because I was more blunt here then everyone else, doesn't mean I don't have a point. You can see by the way OP has responded to the other posters, that she is not great at taking even carefully worded critiques well - its still all about how mean everyone else was and how awesome she was. I would also guess she has spun this post to put herself in the best light. I wonder if her manager or co-workers came in here and posted asking how to deal with a new hire that acted like a know-it-all and was difficult to orient and was refusing a new plan to address issues, would be responded to? There are always 2 sides to every story and reading between lines here I'm confident that she is no where near as innocent as she claims to be.

BTW thatnks for rolling your eyes at me - that's very mature to call names and roll ones eyes. Do you react that way to co-workers, patient's and doctors too when they don't agree with you? Perhaps I am the only lucky one.

[MECO28, BSN, RN]

My point was that your reply was a bit harsh for someone you don't know. I did not call you a name; I merely made a commentary on your behavior. I looked at the thread and nowhere does it appear that the OP was oversensitive to remarks made by others unless they were nasty.

Having just gone through a grueling first year, I can relate to the OP. There is a lot of bullying in nursing and while constructive criticism is fine, her experience sounded more like hazing. Not everyone who has a tough time at work is playing the victim and you seem to have a real chip on your shoulder about new grads.

(I will refrain from adding any offensive smiley faces)

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I was hazed at my first job, and when I was a CNA, had a charge nurse who was quite open about her dislike of me because I was thin and she was anything but. That charge nurses are supported in being verbally abusive of you says poor things about your current employer. Dig in your heels, grit your teeth, do things their way and pretend to agree with them (and avoid your charge nurses). and show them what you're really made of - then take that newly gained expertise and confidence elsewhere, where you will be appreciated. Beware of magnet hospitals, though - they tend to practice one-size-fits-all medicine - AND nursing.

I'm rather skeptical about a claim that someone was picked on because they're just so darned cute. Or beautiful. Or young. Or thin, Usually there's a whole lot more to it than that.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I quit my first nursing job in med surg due to being mistreated.

I was there for almost 8 months and I felt like I was being targeted by some charge nurses. They would yell in the hall, refuse to help me, told the director I asked too many questions,

The director said they had all given up hope on me and did not want to help me.

I had good evals, no write ups. Patients liked me and I suspect

I was not getting credit for good patient reports. My coworkers seemed to like me. I never made a med error or assesment error. Even the drs complimented me and said i was a great colleague.

The straw that broke the camels back was a minor paperwork error, in that I forgot to fill out one of the forms which isn't even a part of the actual record! And to be fair, I was not the only nurse responsible for this form! But they acted like I was. My charge had been going thru my chart, found that form and took it right to my director. They called me into the office, berated me and told me all those bad things above. They said i needed to go on a work improvement program because my iv start skills were not good either. I feel like I am about average for a new grad on iv starts. I was in tears, and she told me to put my big girl panties on and deal with it, that this was just a part of nursing.

I do ask a lot of questions, but that's how I learn. I still have new grad insecurity.

And I always want to make sure i am doing things right. But I guess they saw it as a sign I was not progressing?

I feel so discouraged , I see my classmates from nursing school all talking about how much

They love their jobs and they are friends with co workers on facebook. I never had that at my old job. As I interview for new jobs, how can I tell that a new workplace will be supportive and friendly? I want to have a wworkplace "family" where team work is valued. Many managers will say they are supportive but then they end up the opposite.

Asking a lot of questions at one week is different from asking a lot of questions at 8 months. At 8 months you should be practicing relatively independently. If you still have to ask questions, they should be questions that demonstrate your critical thinking skills. There's a difference between asking "should I give the Coumadin?" and "my patient's INR is 7, her hemoglobin is dropping and her urine is cherry red. I'm going to hold her Coumadin and call Dr. I'maflamingdonkeybutt to let him know. Do you have anything else you need to talk to him about when he calls back?" I suspect that too many of your questions were of the former type as compared to the latter.

I'm concerned that you seem to think the failure was on the part of your manager, your charge nurses and your colleagues because they weren't friendly and supportive enough. Please take a good look at your own contributions to the ineffective relationships you had at your job. You may find that you need to make some changes in your learning style or your style of interacting with others -- in order to succeed in a workplace where teamwork is valued, you must be a good team member. It doesn't sound as if you achieved that status in your first job.

Good luck. I hope you figure things out so that your next job is more successful.

[lovelylady3]

I never said I was perfect. In fact, I was honest about my weaknesses. When I corrected the misperceptions and jumping to conclusions about how I ask questions, I was then accused of being defensive.

I am not perfect, but I am also not an idiot. The attrition numbers for nursing speak for themselves. Clearly I am not the only one who feels this way about how many nurses lack professionalism and compassion for other nurses.

[lovelylady3]

Asking a lot of questions at one week is different from asking a lot of questions at 8 months. At 8 months you should be practicing relatively independently. If you still have to ask questions, they should be questions that demonstrate your critical thinking skills. There's a difference between asking "should I give the Coumadin?" and "my patient's INR is 7, her hemoglobin is dropping and her urine is cherry red. I'm going to hold her Coumadin and call Dr. I'maflamingdonkeybutt to let him know. Do you have anything else you need to talk to him about when he calls back?" I suspect that too many of your questions were of the former type as compared to the latter.

I'm concerned that you seem to think the failure was on the part of your manager, your charge nurses and your colleagues because they weren't friendly and supportive enough. Please take a good look at your own contributions to the ineffective relationships you had at your job. You may find that you need to make some changes in your learning style or your style of interacting with others -- in order to succeed in a workplace where teamwork is valued, you must be a good team member. It doesn't sound as if you achieved that status in your first job.

Good luck. I hope you figure things out so that your next job is more successful.

You are incorrect about how I ask question sand you are also incorrect about my team player attitude.

Please explain how the charge nurse behavior was helpful and professional.

You seem quite accusatory and one sided.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

You are incorrect about how I ask question sand you are also incorrect about my team player attitude.

Please explain how the charge nurse behavior was helpful and professional.

You seem quite accusatory and one sided.[/quote

I'm sorry you don't find my advice helpful. Good luck in your future endeavors.

[uRNmyway, ASN, RN]

You are incorrect about how I ask question sand you are also incorrect about my team player attitude.

Please explain how the charge nurse behavior was helpful and professional.

You seem quite accusatory and one sided.

If you knew anything about the AN community and it's members you would know that Ruby is not the judgmental type. What your response to her has managed to reinforce is that you are not open to constructive criticism, and I would be willing to bet it had something to do with how your coworkers responded to you.