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New Grad Boyfriend Here To Pick Brains

Stress 101   (329 Views | 5 Replies)
by joeblaque joeblaque (New) New

112 Profile Views; 3 Posts

Hello,

Not sure if this is the correct sub-forum, but thought it sounded best.

Girlfriend (soon to be Fiancé) graduated from an ABSN program August '19 and still searching for jobs. She's in her early 30's, already had a BS in Neuroscience before realizing what she really wanted to do. With that said, she is going through what I believe most do in the job hunt, with California not helping, only with her being in her 30's so she gets down on herself more often well beyond getting a job and spirals into "being behind on life" etc. Obviously if she got an offer today it would uplift her immensely, but it's clear it eats her inside deeper as time goes by. 

I feel I've been pretty accommodating to everything from NS to the point we're at now. She went to school in AZ and over that year I drove out to visit her almost every two weeks, about 20 times aside from the trips helping her find a place before school started. We breezed through it pretty easily too (this was year 4/5 of our relationship).

As for myself, I'm a business owner. Declined a job offer long ago from a company I interned at because I just didn't get down with the have a boss, move up the ladder 4% raise at a time etc etc. So that said, I ate a lot of dirt early on following college barely getting by to the point I'm at now and fortunate enough to pay myself more than I thought I would at this point. 

Reason I give background on myself is through that I have a very aggressive mentality about going to get what you want i.e. F*** a job post, call the hospital, get the name of the director, call them, drop in to hospitals even if no jobs available knowingly online etc. Obviously if there's a post, apply, but then overachieve in the application process within reason. Living a life of "no" after "no" makes me pretty shameless with obvious awareness of what's appropriate to do. I've tried instilling this in her, and even called hospitals myself just to dig for information that may serve as something she can execute on. I don't believe it's necessary to make her act this way, I do understand it's just not in most people's nature go to these lengths or feel it might actually hurt them. I disagree, but I get people don't want to feel annoying.

Is there anything more I can be doing for her specifically to actually help her get a job she's happy with? Our actual relationship I'd say is very good, so while I'm sure some may say give more emotional support, at this point I think any more would be a disservice and only make her feel badly in a sense it's perceived as "pity".

I guess what I'm hoping to get out of this is any outside of the box experience or tips on job searching, California specifically would be a plus.

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Hoosier_RN has 20 years experience as a MSN and specializes in LTC, home health, hospice, ICU, ER, dialysis.

5 Followers; 1,885 Posts; 4,082 Profile Views

CA is a very tough market without experience,  regardless of education. Depending on your location,  she may need to relocate for 1+ years to get experience. Many new grads experiencing this, not just her. Also, have her check before direct contacting any department or hiring manager. At some places, it's a big no-no, and could have a negative effect

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3 Posts; 112 Profile Views

Appreciate it. Of course I'm not mentioning names or anything when contacting Hospitals for her sake, so as far as they ever know a random guy disrupted their day to ask some questions with no known association to any actual applicants. And yes, from my reading I'm well aware it's nothing to take personal and a struggle. Probably easier for me to digest this than the people that have to go through it.

She's never mentioned moving. My mentality is that's a hail mary desperation move after more time has passed than current, and even still I find it questionable. At the end of the day, unless someone is really that unattached to every other facet of their life (or young enough to justify), moving across the country or over state lines away from family and all other relationships for an entry level job seems excessive. Not to mention financially it puts her at a disadvantage being able to chip away less at all her debt from NS with an apartment to rent etc etc. 

Appreciate it though.

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hppygr8ful has 15 years experience and specializes in Psych, Addictions, Elder Care, L&D.

6 Followers; 3 Articles; 2,955 Posts; 33,507 Profile Views

What part of California are you located in?

There are some very saturated markets for sure. Places like San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco etc can be near to impossible to break into. Good news is California is a big state. There are suburbs and rural areas that have great need for staffing in hospitals. You don't say what kind of business you own but if you are mobile you might be able to accompany her out of the big city to a slightly smaller one.  There are several very nice hospitals in the San Gabriel Valley where I live that seem to hire frequently. The SGV is less than an hour from Los Angeles, nice beaches and mountain resorts,  two to San Diego and only a 5 hour drive from Las Vegas. My husband a life long California resident jokes that California is the only place you can get up and so surfing in the am, take in a round of golf and finish off with a little night skiing. 

Also you don't mention if your fiancé is picky about her specialty. She might have to seek employment outside of an acute hospital in an ortho rehab, LTAC, SNF or psych just to get started. The psych facility where I work hires new grads all the time . As my daddy used to say it's always easier to find a job when you have a job.

Agree with other poster's here that cold calling or just showing up to talk to a manager is a bad idea. It worked 20 or so years ago but when I was briefly out of work in 2017 I was routinely told that all applications were required to be submitted on-line. 

Lastly - if she has had multiple interviews with no offers she might consider getting the services of an interview coach who can conduct mock interviews and critique to see if she is presenting herself in the best light. There are several such services listed on Google.com.  Hope this info helps!                                                                                                                                                                                                                Hppy                                                                                                               

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3 Posts; 112 Profile Views

Thanks very much 🙂

All very helpful. We've expanded our radius a bit more as of today just to make it less intimidating. Since it's not me it's easy to say "this is the process" but it's important to her on a multitude of levels so we're bending as much as needed.

And yes I do understand the cold calling / showing up. I was moreso referring to those little gestures that some people shrug off that can be done enduring the application/review process that can go a long way with the right approach and exude subtle enthusiasm. With such a level playing field, this is the only real differentiation I can see that can be leveraged.

That said, I'm aware there's hiring managers that if approached on the wrong day could think "wow that's annoying, don't want her". She's too sweet and considerate of others to do it anyway, lol. I'd never actually go in person on her behalf. It's mostly been me playing dumb asking about open positions for new grads even if there was nothing publicly posted. I did this 3 times and one of the three hospitals actually had a position they had filled the previous day that they never officially posted about. That's as far as I'll go, obviously not a good look to say I'm a BF of an RN putting in the legwork for her. While I didn't lie, they likely all assume I'm just some nameless, male, prospective RN.

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barcode120x has 5 years experience as a ADN, BSN, RN and specializes in Telemetry.

544 Posts; 10,423 Profile Views

I can't say much about North Cali, but I'm located in the Inland Empire. I'm assuming your fiance is looking for a hospital job (as most new grad RN's look for to get their 1 year and get out). As mentioned by the previous posters, it's a tough to get a hospital job unless you have prior experience, particularly in that hospitals. If desperate for a hospital job, can look up in the high desert. Heard many, many stories of not-so-great experiences in the hospitals in the high desert, but experience is experience.

If it takes too long, she may have to look at non-hospital jobs. Some of my classmates jumped right into SNF nursing right after ADN school (this was about 4 years ago) to get that money coming in. Many of them found hospital jobs 6 months to 1 year later. Although SNF nursing experience is NOT hospital experience, it is still nursing experience and can put you ahead in the hiring process compared to new grads. I'm sure your fiance knows by now, but nursing isn't as great as it was sold to be. May have to start at the bottom before climbing high like any other job.

Did she get her ABSN out of state and she recently moved back to California? Could possibly be a reason why she's not getting picked. Also, if she got your ABSN from a private/for profit school, that would be another reason why. My place doesn't hire anyone from a certain for profit BSN school.

Edited by barcode120x

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