Needing Advice

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I need some advice on how to proceed with my recovery. I was caught diverting and working while high as a kite in Sept 2015. I've never had any discipline on my license before and I have no criminal history. The final judgement from the board was a stipulated settlement to surrender my license or have a hearing to revoke it. I chose the settlement and surrendered my license. I have to wait theee years to apply to reinstate my license. Obviously I need to get completely sober and work on improving my life. My drug use has slowed wayyyy down because I have no more access to them. I haven't worked in nursing since that incident. Although I do take norco occasionally and smoke marijuana daily.

My question is, what is the best route to take to get sober. I am not on probation wasn't offered diversion program, etc so I am doing this on my own. I'm pretty sure I should only be concentrating on getting sober but I'm curious what programs etc look the best to the board if I choose to try and reinstate my license. Like most of you, healthcare is all I've ever known as a career. 20 years. I'm currently doing janitorial work and how humbling that has been! Ntm going from $30 an hour to minimum wage has been devastating financially. If I'm sober and my life is back together in 3 years I would like to petition to get back my license. Just wondering the best way to go about it.

And I've never felt so ashamed, guilty, worthless or embarrassed in my whole life. I've done nothing but cry this last year. But I do realize that this is a gift to get my life back together and I'm finally ready to commit to doing that. Just want some advice and to see if anyone has been in a similar situation

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Specializes in critical care, ER,ICU, CVSURG, CCU.

For me it was the 12 step programs, as NA, AA, & cadeuses

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Specializes in Critical Care, Addiction, Peer Support.

Listen, you have to focus on getting and staying clean, and that means total abstinence, in recovery you cannot justify the use of any mind altering substance and hope to be successful. Everyone has to chose what is right for them in recovery, for some it's NA/AA, others church, SMART, etc. etc. But the only way you are going to find what works for you is to get out of your comfort zone and try different things. So many of us addicts love to isolate (me DEFINITELY) and we have to push ourselves out the door sometimes, make that decision to put yourself out there, there are times when I can convince myself that I can just stay home and not go....that's when it's MOST IMPORTANT for me TO go!! I really like a Caduceus meeting that I go to every Sunday, I have a sponsor that I have known for about 9 years now, I keep myself spiritually fit (and that's a HUGE part I think, and it doesn't have to be God, just be comfortable with whatever you feel spiritually), yoga/exercise, hobbies, journaling and MOST IMPORTANT....have someone in your life who you can be TOTALLY honest with...and that might not be your significant other, in fact, often times it shouldn't be.....there are things that we did as addicts that only other addicts will truly understand. You will get your life back together, just keep doing the next right thing.

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Specializes in tele, ICU, CVICU.

Forgive me, as I have no experience in surrendering license. However, when you do apply to have it re-instated, will the BON not require significant documented time being clean/sober? I only ask, because you mention occasional Norco and daily pot which will result in positive UDS's, that I'm pretty sure all programs require. Again, I apologize if I'm totally off with that, as I do not know about the requirements for license re-instatement, but I have trouble thinking they would allow it without significant time documented clean, since that was the original issue resulting in loss of license. Also, I'm assuming you have a valid Rx for the norco, so is there a chronic pain issue as well? I ask, because I know all to well of chronic pain and having to be controlled substance free and some days are not pleasant.

As far as recommending, it seems AA/NA/12 steps works for quite a few/the majority, that I've seen. However, it does nothing for me and I go simply because I must. Others have awesome experiences with such groups and I'm fairly sure it depends on the other members in the specific meetings in your town. I honestly haven't looked into it, but I heard some talk a while ago, from another nurse about online AA meetings. But pretty much any program seems based on such programs.

I think taraB said it well, that complete abstinence is pretty much a given to getting your life back in order. And also having somebody you can tell everything to, again not necessarily a significant other. Very good advice there. Since you don't have a program/case manager to oversee everything such programs rely on, finding someway to truly hold yourself accountable. Either to a significant other/loved one/the best reason to stay sober or sponsor. Do you attend any type of church, or believe in anything along spiritual lines? A clergy-person or counselor/therapist type person that would be able to have sessions? I think volunteering is a great thing and has done great things for me. And the giving back part, I think it helps me more than those I help...

Sorry, I hope that didn't come across as negative, in the beginning. But I think knowing what precisely is required for license re-instatement is crucial at this point. Time seems to fly by quicker and quicker.

Best of luck and keep reaching out here. There are so many amazing men & women on here with oodles of experience, knowledge and support wanting to pay it forward and help others in the same boat.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Addiction, Peer Support.

[quote= I think volunteering is a great thing and has done great things for me. And the giving back part, I think it helps me more than those I help...

No doubt, I actually co chair a meeting at the inpatient rehab that I went to 8 years ago, carrying the message, giving hope, helping others, it is mutually beneficial.

All the best, keep coming back! Tara

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Thanks for responding to my post. I really appreciate it. I know I have to be totally sober to be successful. I just wanted to be honest about the drugs I was still using. I'm an LVN, or was, and the board doesn't offer drug diversion programs to LVNs only RNs in my state. I have seen the application for license reinstatement for addicted nurses and yes you must provide proof of completed rehab of some sort. They also want proof of 12 step programs and/or nurses support groups. Articles and or books you've read related to addiction, any behavioral therapy received, medications you're on, any volunteer work, other lifestyle changes (excercise etc), proof of CEUs and a statement as to why you want your license back and why should the board grant the request or something to that effect. Of course that doesn't guarantee you will be reinstated and you will be on probation with stipulations/restrictions if you're fortunate enough to be given a second chance. I guess since I wasn't forced to go through rehab etc it is the fear of the unknown and taking that first step. I really appreciate your support

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