Hello, I need advice mostly from nurses who are wives and moms please.
I have been wanting to be a nurse for a while now. I am planning on getting a ADN (we can't afford BSN right now)
I am wondering mostly how do you handle child care? I am not a mom yet but married and getting older, so hopefully soon. If I became a nurse I don't think we would need me to work full time. I am hoping to get part time or per diem. I think ideal would be like two shifts a week 11pm-7am. Im hoping my husband could be there for the kids when theyre all sleeping and then he or a nanny could watch while I sleep in the day or night (whenever someone would be available).
I am confused cuz I hear how nursing can be great for moms as it is so flexible but then I read that it's not because you can never leave in the middle of a shift, or sometimes they call you in when not scheduled? Is it true that sometimes you need to be on call? Also I'm pretty sure even if pt I wouldn't have a set schedule so maybe I wouldn't always get 3rd shift?
How do nurses deal with unpredictable rotating schedules? Are you on call sometimes? Honestly I'd love to do this but we have very limited income and I don't want to risk spending thousands on school when it wouldn't work out soon after I have kids. How do you work your schedule as wife and mom? Thank you so much.....
On a side note I am also very afraid of not being fast enough and causing harm to patients (I have read that sometimes there are difficult nurse to patient ratios). I have been a waitress for a long time and although I'm very good sometimes I have been slow (I know completely different thing but they both involve mulittasking). Also when I get nervous I can make huge mistakes (I was once a bank teller and somehow over $700 dollars short, was trying to go fast enough and got nervous). I am also very scared about not thinking and lifting a patient wrong and permanently injuring my back? My plan would be to become a CNA, try to get a per diem CNA job, do that and waitress a lil to pay for ADN part time...
My last concern is two or three times a year I get blinding migraines where I can't see and sometimes throw up. What would happen if I was in the middle of a shift? Would I be able to call a manager or someone to help cover me? I don't want to put any patients in danger...
I know it probably seems like I'm worrying too much but going to school is a huge decision financially for us. I want to decide before we have kids though...
Honestly it's either this or just trying to work my way up in administrative type jobs. I have an A.A. in Psychology but that doesn't give squat really. I want a job where it feels like I'm making a real difference everyday, no matter how hard. Im also scared that if I don't go back to school before pregnant and just rely on administrative assistant jobs later my family could go broke. My husband is from Mexico and doesn't even have his GED. We so were blessed we finally got his permanent residency but I'm worried if I don't have a career to help it may be too hard as he is just starting to go to school for GED and still doesn't know some English. He works as a kitchen manager/cook and is a wonderful man who is very traditional and wants to be the breadwinner while I take care of home and kids. But I want to help and am afraid if I don't have a good job at least part time before kids we will get stuck.
As a mom someday I want to make sure our kids always have trustworthy care. I don't want to just drop them off with people I don't know all the time because of an unpredictable or on call schedule. I don't have family that are well enough to help so I would need to hire a nanny I think?
I know nursing can be so hard but I have faith God will be with me every day. I want to make a real difference and want to help support my family. I just don't want to start school and for it to be a mistake?
For all the wonderful nurse moms how was it with childcare and your marriage? Did you have a nanny or live in nanny?
Thank you so so much for taking the time to read this and any advice is greatly appreciated.
I have 5 kids, the first born while in nursing school--she's 14 now--and youngest just turned 3. I work 3-11 p.m. half time, including every other weekend and every other holiday. My in-laws watch the kids when neither of us is available. My husband is a CFO so works a lot and travels quite a bit, but he schedules trips during my days off. He's also the one who is able to leave work if a child needs a parent immediately. We have used daycare on very temporary bases, although now with so many kids (and their schedules!!! Oh my, their scedules!! *clutching my pearls* ) it would make more sense to have a nanny if we needed someone.
Now for your questions.
1.) How do you handle daycare? I guess I answered that already
2.) I am hoping to get part time or per diem. I think ideal would be like two shifts a week 11pm-7am This may not be possible out of the gate. Like others have said, most new grad programs hire for 0.8-0.9 FTE; and you'll still be learning when you graduate.
3.) How do nurses deal with unpredictable rotating schedules? Are you on call sometimes? Some units utilize on call; PACU and cath lab come to mind. I work in an ICU and the only nurses who take regular on call hours are the ones trained to run ECMO (you can Google those terms if you want.)
Rotating schedules are generally limited to two shifts-- either 7a-7p and 7p-7a, 11p-7a and 7a-3p, etc. I deal with those by not working them. As a new RN, you may have to. Also though, most places keep you on one or the other for a set period of time; they don't randomly assign you to a day shift here, night shift there.
Unless you are paid to be on call, you have the option to decline the extra shift they call and ask you to do.
More common is mandatory overtime, where they do require you to work a double shift (up to 16 hours, no double 12 hour shifts) if they failed to plan for staffing holes. I specifically avoid employers who do this. Yes, I ask in the interview under what circumstances they mandate OT. Only acceptable answers are natural disasters or mass casualty situations . I worked one mandatory double maybe 5 yrs ago, during a horrible snowstorm where people who tried to come in got stuck in ditches. Otherwise, I just don't have the ability to work beyond what I'm scheduled, and make no apology for it.
I'll have to get to the rest later...have to get the kids ready for swimming lessons.
I have been a nurse for two years now, as a second career. I first got a Bachelors in psychology and then decided to go back to school for nursing (my ADN, planning to go back for my bachelor's soon). I am married with a 13 yr old, an 11 yr old, and a baby who is 8 months old. I am lucky that I am able to work full time while my husband stays at home with the kids, but I have many coworkers who have children and usually have daycare or a trusted friend or relative to take care of their kids, or they alternate their schedule with their spouse so that one parent is always with the kids.
I am a worrier like you, so here'so my advice to you: first decide if nursing is really what you want to do. For me, I am like you, I really wanted a job where I made a difference. Nursing definitely fits that description. It is stressful and you have to deal with a lot of crazy situations (being short staffed, rude doctors or family members, confused and combative patients, etc), but you also have times where you realize you are making a difference and it is worth it (patients and family members who thank you for your help, coworkers who are supportive and work well together, doctors who respect nurses as colleagues, etc). Once you know that nursing is something that you really want to do, you can figure out all the details after that.
If possible, finish nursing school and work full time first, before having a baby; it will be easier to go down to part time or per diem after working full time for awhile and getting experience. But even if you have a baby first, you can finish school and work full time (I did); it is very possible, just harder. :) I know a few women who had a baby while in nursing school, and they were able to finish school. Try to develop a support system of friends and family members if you can, always helpful during challenging moments in life.
As for getting nervous under pressure, I am the same way. I did fine with lectures and tests, but during clinicals I always got so nervous passing meds while the instructor watched me. But you just take a deep breath and make sure you are prepared; as long as you are prepared, you should have confidence in yourself and your abilities. And the more experience you get after you start working, the less nervous you become.
Hope that helps! I think nursing would be a good idea for you, it is a good job where you can make a difference, it pays a decent salary, and it something you can fall back on even if you decide to stay home as a mom later in life. Good luck!
There is no doubt about it: being a nurse with young children pretty much requires that you have substantial support to help you with children. That usually means a flexible and supportive partner, as well as family members or other hired help who can bridge the gap that usually exists when one works 12 hour shifts, rotating shifts, or takes call.
Thank you so much everyone for all your help!!!!!!!:)
I think I will do it!!!!
I was wondering though. I would work to find flexible child care especially when starting out, but are there m-f day only options?
All I know is what I've been reading on forums but it looks like preop, pacu, postop, or home health may have these options. I know being a nurse means making sacrifices but would it be practical to hope for this kind of schedule after some years in ICU?
I'm hoping to do my time having to work nights, weekends, holidays etc while I have young children but hopefully after 6 yrs or so when they start school I'd really want the possibility to have weekends and holidays off? Is this possible?
Also as far as schedules, I have a few questions?
*Do you know your set schedule at least a month or two weeks ahead of time?
*Is it really possible to get a job that is regular with out rotating shifts? Do I need seniority for that?
*Do you or anyone you know use a live in nanny because of such a varied schedule? Or like a nanny that's on call 24/7? How well does it work for you/them?
Thank you so much for all your advice you guys!!!!
I know being a nurse means making sacrifices but would it be practical to hope for this kind of schedule after some years in ICU?
It might be tough to get an ICU position right away, but there are definitely options for experienced RNs. Lots of PACU positions do require ICU experience. Otherwise there's school nursing, public health, case management, same-day surgery... Most M-F day jobs do require that you've put in your time and gained that post-school knowledge.
*Do you know your set schedule at least a month or two weeks ahead of time?
Ours comes out a month ahead of time.
*Is it really possible to get a job that is regular with out rotating shifts? Do I need seniority for that?
You may, it really depends on the place. I started in 2003, on PM/night rotation, and was able to switch to straight nights after a few months. Skilled nursing facilities--at least the ones in my area--do hire for one shift vs the rotating, more so than hospitals.
*Do you or anyone you know use a live in nanny because of such a varied schedule? Or like a nanny that's on call 24/7?
I personally wouldn't hire a live-in nanny, partially because I don't want a non-family member living with me. I'd feel like I always had to be in company mode. They're also significantly more expensive.
A while back we did look into getting a live-out nanny, but decided against it. Of the two agencies I looked at, one was willing to work with my odd hours; the lady I talked to said they actually work with many "medical professionals" for that very reason. The other place emailed that "Our nannies are professional caregivers, and work regular hours." (To which I replied, "I am a professional trauma ICU nurse who needs help while I am at work, nights and weekends. But thanks for getting back to me." Snarky maybe, but I couldn't resist.)
My sister is a geologist for a big gold mine, and works 10 hour days, 4 days a week. She didn't go through a nanny agency but hired a woman who her mother-in-law knew; she'd been an empty nested housewife recently widowed and needed/wanted to work.
Commercial or in-home daycare could work for 8 hour day and/or night shifts. For 12 hour shifts not so much, unless it was like a 3-3 shift. But most 12 hour shifts are 7-7, or I've also heard 11-11... with most commercial daycares closing at 6 p.m., you'd need your husband or someone else to pick up.
When we did use commercial daycare on temporary bases, one of us was always available to pick up by closing time. I would give them my schedule as soon as I got it, so they'd know when my child would be there.
They're also significantly more expensive.
Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN
5,047 Posts
I have 5 kids, the first born while in nursing school--she's 14 now--and youngest just turned 3. I work 3-11 p.m. half time, including every other weekend and every other holiday. My in-laws watch the kids when neither of us is available. My husband is a CFO so works a lot and travels quite a bit, but he schedules trips during my days off. He's also the one who is able to leave work if a child needs a parent immediately. We have used daycare on very temporary bases, although now with so many kids (and their schedules!!! Oh my, their scedules!! *clutching my pearls*
) it would make more sense to have a nanny if we needed someone.
Now for your questions.
1.) How do you handle daycare? I guess I answered that already
2.) I am hoping to get part time or per diem. I think ideal would be like two shifts a week 11pm-7am This may not be possible out of the gate. Like others have said, most new grad programs hire for 0.8-0.9 FTE; and you'll still be learning when you graduate.
3.) How do nurses deal with unpredictable rotating schedules? Are you on call sometimes? Some units utilize on call; PACU and cath lab come to mind. I work in an ICU and the only nurses who take regular on call hours are the ones trained to run ECMO (you can Google those terms if you want.)
Rotating schedules are generally limited to two shifts-- either 7a-7p and 7p-7a, 11p-7a and 7a-3p, etc. I deal with those by not working them. As a new RN, you may have to. Also though, most places keep you on one or the other for a set period of time; they don't randomly assign you to a day shift here, night shift there.
Unless you are paid to be on call, you have the option to decline the extra shift they call and ask you to do.
More common is mandatory overtime, where they do require you to work a double shift (up to 16 hours, no double 12 hour shifts) if they failed to plan for staffing holes. I specifically avoid employers who do this. Yes, I ask in the interview under what circumstances they mandate OT. Only acceptable answers are natural disasters or mass casualty situations . I worked one mandatory double maybe 5 yrs ago, during a horrible snowstorm where people who tried to come in got stuck in ditches. Otherwise, I just don't have the ability to work beyond what I'm scheduled, and make no apology for it.
I'll have to get to the rest later...have to get the kids ready for swimming lessons.