Need some advice!

[kimpup123]

This is my very first post on this site. I am currently finishing my first year of nursing school (my finals are in three days, whoop!!)... and I have maintained a high GPA with straight A's thusfar, (minus those B+ mishaps in A&P, hello...)

Okay, so with these facts in mind: I am also someone who has, in the past and occasional present, smoked marijuana. My reasons for this are that it's kind of habitual (yes, hi, I'm human!) and like many others who explain their use of the substance, pot simply helps soothe anxieties/stress and easily lends itself as a short, safe and lovely state of euphoria.

Let the judgement pour in! I'm not afraid!

For those without biases and those able to look past theirs... that is who the rest of this post is really for. Because, really, I just need some advice.

I know you're out there. There has to be those of you who smoked pot before you went to nursing school and had to at some point choose a life with weed in it or a life with your license and career. I understand fully how the two don't mix.

I obviously passed my first drug test upon entering my first year of school. To do this, though, I had to quit my habit two months in advance to fully ENSURE I would be clean. My first semester I only did it very occasionally, but it became slightly more frequent during this past semester. Again: old habits die hard and the STRESS people!

I have managed to pull it off and not miss any school or clinical time and am succeeding in my courses. But I have come to this point now where I will be tested again in August. Because I am a regular user and am obviously paranoid of messing up the greatest thing I ever decided to do (go back to school and supporting myself and my son).... I am quitting very early.

I have hit this realization/acceptance stage where I know I won't be able to keep living this nursing life and smoke marijuana concurrently. It doesn't work with jobs, random testing. I'd lose everything if I ever tested positive. I know this. That alone should be enough to keep me away from the stuff.

But... when I look at my big picture... marijuana has been in my life off and on for a long while. I'm sort of scared (1) to face my second year without it at all and (2) face life without it at all period!

I thank all of you who took the time to read this. I really just need some nonjudgmental advice and support basically. I would never EVER go to clinical "high" or take care of anyone under its influence. I see so many of the positives of quitting but am just hitting this wall right now.

Thanks ahead of time!

[Wiggly Litchi]

I echo everything that everyone else here has said, though your post worries me.

But... when I look at my big picture... marijuana has been in my life off and on for a long while. I'm sort of scared (1) to face my second year without it at all and (2) face life without it at all period!

I thought like this about cigarettes when I was a heavy smoker. I just couldn't imagine not having one more cigarette ever, life was so empty! And then I realized that my addiction ran deep. They were my crutch and I had to learn to function without them. It took a while - way longer than I would have liked, and the transition was messy and uncomfortable, but then I found other things that filled the void and helped me mellow out.

I dabbled with MJ and other recreational stuff way back, so there's no judgment here, but maybe it's time you cut the cord for good. I feel like if something has this kind of a hold on you, it might be worth it to just give it up completely.

I know it's something you enjoy, and I did too in the past, but honestly where I'm headed... it's worth giving up that and so much more to get there.

What's important to you?

[JadedCPN, BSN, RN]

While I've never been one to partake in using marijuana myself, I am of the mind set that if alcohol is legal then marijuana should be as well. The issue here isn't so much that you enjoy using marijuana, but rather that you seem dependent on it to cope and get through life - that definitely should be addressed as others have pointed out. Also, definitely check out the recovery forum - if reading through their stories of how their lives are now consumed by the BON don't scare you straight, I don't know if anything will.