Hiya, how are all of you nurses(not gender specific lol) Well I actually need a mans perspective. Ok I am a RN who is separated from an 18 year mental and physically abusive relationship. Since separating, I have joined the local Vol Fire Dept as a first responder. I am happy, have made friends, and feel accepted and trusted as a friend, and nurse. Problem is he still is making me feel inferior, disapproves of me in FD b/c thinks I am trying to find a man, nope last thing from my mind, I want to transfer from a state facility to ER b/c I want to pursue my FNP and need the experience, he thinks that is stupid to leave a state paid job blah blah blah. OK what I need to know is HOW can I convey to him how much I love nursing and caring for other ppl even in times of dire crisis. Besides my children, Nursing and helping others is my passion, and have not been able to act on this until now. I wanted to go help with Katrina and know what he said???????? YOU JUST WANT RECOGNITION:uhoh3: omg please give me some input, but you know I really shouldnt explain anything, just continue bein happy. I dont think this man will ever understand concept of helping others. To save our marraige I gave him the opportunity to get counseling with or without me, he chose not to go so out he went:chuckle
OK what I need to know is HOW can I convey to him how much I love nursing and caring for other ppl even in times of dire crisis..
as i guy i dont really understand why you feel the need to convey anything about your life and ambitions to an ex. will still need to deal with him regaurding your your kids so must be civial to him. a little advice, only talk with him about things that concern the kids nothing else. by trying to convey your feelings about nursing or wanting to help others your sharing a form of intancy which gives him hope, why he keeps trying to control the situatioin. its really up to you to break this cycle. hard i know, but you must act in a matter of fact way when dealing with him. if you need to tell him anything about your plans do just that, tell him. no need to explain anything, if he ask why just say "look, this is the decsion i made" and leave it at that. dont give him false hope. dont call him unless its about the kids. BTW how long have been seperated?
well one guy lets see, in November of 2004 I gave him the ultimatum to get counseling or hes out the door, gave him a long one year til November 2005, no ATTEMPT to go to counseling sooo this past November he was out. So lets see, 3 months actually separated but actually in all reality has been OVER a year mentally. Everyone who has posted is completely right and I know that, I have been in healthcare for 20 years, I was one of the dependent personalities until I finally bucked up and went back to school 7 years ago for my LPN then straight to RN, had been a CNA since 17yo. I guess now I can finally support my kids and myself and never could have 8 years ago. GOD knows my destiny and I look to him for the courage everyday. The hardest thing for me was I took those vows, but I also looked to the Bible for answers. Divorce is only applicable when adultery applies. Oh well, I am aking for forgiveness everyday. Adultery never applied in my situation. It was when my oldest son was being the target. Me, I put up with things, but mess with my children youre gonna regret it.
God has the ability to reason just like humans...........Just because the bible says one thing doesn't mean that god will hold true to it when you are getting your a$$ beat and your mind destroyed..........I'm sure there's some kind of understanding for that sort of thing.
just so you can rest and not feel as if you commited a sin, in the bible it has never been a sin to divorce. The grounds for divorce were strife between Abraham's two wives and strife between their children. God approved of the divorce on those grounds (Genesis 21:12-13). There is no suggestion of adultery or other sexual misconduct by Hagar. So this, the Bible's first reference to divorce, refutes the concept that the only biblical basis for divorce is adultery.
thatoneguy
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