Need Advice...

[Curious1alwys, BSN, RN]

I need some advice, please.

I just started Block 2 of a 4 block nursing program yesterday. My father was diagnosed with extensive small cell inoperable lung cancer back in November. He rec'd two rounds of chemo, tumors shrunk 50%, but now has a new tumor in his lung that is chemo resistant. They are going to try a new chemo. He also had mets to brain (four lesions) and had 20 radiation treatments. 20-30% of people with this type of cancer live one year. His prognosis was 6-10 months from last Nov. Currently he seems to be physically doing OK. I recently found out that I will have to care for him (drive him around to a fro doc appts, stay with him, etc) one to two days per week. My aunt has been taking care of him but it has proven more difficult than she thought and chemo is really taking his strength.

My mother has fallen ill and has not gotten better since Nov 1. She is having some respiratory probs. Spot found on X-ray in lungs, did CT, something on adrenals....adrenal adenoma the doc says.....says she needs another CT in six months. I told her, because she is still sick, get a second opinion. See a pulmonologist, whatever. She hasn't done anything but she is not feeling better. That worries me in light of the fact that she is a longtime heavy smoker and especially with what is going on with my Dad....

In November, I also started a new job at a busy ER in a position that requires lots of learning, learning I am not fully done with. I am still struggling to learn the current computer system there but in March we will convert to a whole new system and I will have to relearn everything. I am still stressed when I go to this new job cuz I don't know everything I should yet. :uhoh21:

My advice................With these conditions, would you try to drop out of Block 2 and return either next semester or the semester after? I am really at a loss as to what to do. I found Block 1 stressful enough with no job (at the time) and my father being healthy. In addition, if my father's time is so limited I would hate to be buried in a book for the rest of his life, you know what I mean? Finally, I know that if I am stressed to the max and especially if my Dad's health rapidly declines, I won't have the "stick with it-ness" to push through my classes. How will I concentrate on studying??

I need advice. I have to do this (drop or decide to stay) within the next few days or I won't get a refund. I don't want to lose a whole semesters $$$.

What would YOU do???

Thank you all!! I appreciate it very much!!

[sandra saul]

You have a lot on your plate right now.I personally would put Block 2 on hold for a while. You also must take care of yourself! I will be praying for you.

[purplefly]

wow...how cool to live in this world...ppl seem to experience everything in this life..even the toughest times you cant run away from it..well if you think its too much burden to continue on this block 2, feel free to postpone it.. It is only you hu knows your strengths and weaknesses.. I also advice you to seek divine help..goodluck and Godbless u and your family

[perfectbluebuildings, BSN, RN]

wow... you have a LOT going on. It is a big decision to drop classes... but if you know you'll be able to go back, it sounds like that might be the way to go for right now. I know I've heard of people say "if you drop, you'll never go back", and while there's probably truth to that, it doesn't have to be the case always!! It sounds like you're determined to finish eventually. I'd say, your family sounds like your priority right now, to say the least. Take care!!!

[Curious1alwys, BSN, RN]

Thanks for the replies.

I am so sad to think I have to leave my friends and start all anew at school. I don't really want to do that, but I want to do what is right, at the same time. I will be so mad if I end up dropping cuz I lose it half way thru!!

My sister was talking about quitting her job to help with Dad's care (she doesn't have to work). Maybe I should find out if she is for sure going to do that before I make my decision. Even with school, I can work very little if I have to. That is not ideal, but I do have a "pool" job. I just hate to give up. I got thru Block 1 and really felt like I accomplished something. I think I would feel horrible if I had to drop, like a failure, and honestly, I don't think my Dad would be happy either. He wants me to finish. My biggest worry isn't so much time, but inability to concentrate. If I can't concentrate, I am SOL, you know??

I am trying to put into effect a few healthy coping mechanisms, maybe that'll work, huh? I will try to talk to my Dad's oncologist some more when I take him for tx on Monday. There is only so much I can ask though with my Dad sitting right there. Plus, he might be in the 5% that live 2 years. If he is, that is too long, I will lose all my classes by then. You can only be out 1 year and keep what you have already done. Not to mention everything you would forget...

Ahh well, I'll figure it out. Thanks.

[Daytonite, BSN, RN]

I would drop the classes. There is too much on your plate right now. I'm sorry that everything seems to be raining down on you all at once. It's not only your father, but also your mother who's care might become more time consuming as well. My mother just went through a year's worth of chemo and radiation therapy and I was the one taking her to all her appointments. These weakened her system enough that an underlying infection popped up that really knocked her for a loop for a couple of months worse than the toll chemo and radiation therapy took on her. It is very fatiguing. Even if you eventually involve hospice in their care, the care will still, most likely, be delivered in the home. Before you make any decision to drop out of school I would sit down with the nursing director at school and have a talk with her about your home situation and at least be satisfied that you will be able to return to your nursing program at a later date. I wish you the best.